Too much stress from life, family, and work..

I haven't updated here in awhile so I have decided to take a break from blogging. i can be easily reached via email, facebook, and Twitter. All those extensions are akbennett06.
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?

There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.

Til later...much later....LOL!

Day by Day...

I wake up in the morning, I go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and think about what kind of day I am going to have. If I think that I am going to have a bad day, something usually happens to make my prediction wrong, or not as bad as I think it will be.

Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.

Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*

I have to get ready for work now.

Til later....

WOW! I really am bored!

What the heck am I going to do with all the time in the world during the summer to keep myself occupied and out of trouble when kids are gone for 6 weeks and hubby goes to work every day????? I really need to find something to do constructive or else I will go nuts.

I just came from an ice cream place, Maggie Moos, where, today, Tax Day, they were handing out free scoops of ice cream. Got me there! Free and ice cream, my two favorite words together! I wanted coconut but they did'nt have it out so I opted for the mango sorbet. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I saw they had a piint of Pina Cowlada so I got one of those too with the $5 that I had in my pocket. Cheap and Oh so good!

I did a bad thing...sort of...I went to Best Buy and bought a DVD drive for our netbooks and a video editing program and a package of CD-RW's. I really needed all of it so I could have a new hobby for the summer......LOL! There ya go. Bought it with my debit card so it's not credit or anything, which is a plus since my CC's are all cut up and gone anyhow.

I work tomorrow at my sons school and then I go play with Arielle at her last recess at school for her birthday. I am bringing my camera to take pictures of her and her friends. Might as well celebrate with all her classmates. It'll be fun.

Time to see how this new drive works.

Til later....

Why am I crying so much today??

There is so much going through my head and I just can't control my emotions today. I pet my cat, realize that she is mine and I love her and I tear up. Then my mind goes to the fact that my oldest daughter has never even met the cats. The cats are almost 3 years old. That is so long! I have not had my daughter in my house in that long! That is totally horrible and miserable to me. I miss her so much!

I am also cleaning up Allen's room and that has been a chore. He has these two little monkeys he has and still sleeps with. I WISH that I could get a picture of him at his current age(almost 14) sleeping there with Monkey in his arms the way I found him this morning. To have a silent camera and catch that moment would make my year....he hates having his picture taken so I have to snap one, and run for the hills so he doesn't erase it from the memory card. He truly hates it. I snapped one this morning and he complained but I won out. He tried to tackle me but I told him to respect his momma. He backed off. Picture is safe, LOL! I took him to school this morning and he is upset that he has to take the bus tomorrow at his dads. I take him whenever I can and at his dad's that is not an option at all. He likes being pampered and I like doing it for him. It gives me 10 minutes of time of whatever with him...he loves to talk about stuff that happens in his life then so I eat it up....I hope that it continues for awhile.

Now I know why I am tearing up.....read the pragraphs above and you'd be crying too.

Oh and another...my baby turns 7 tomorrow! That's the saddest part of all. She is seriously excited about it! We are going to see Hannah Montana on Saturday and I am bringing her cupcakes to school this afternoon so her class can have them there tomorrow for lunch. And I have to close this up so I can get that done.

Hope your day goes well. If I make it through this week, I'll be very happy...

Til later!

I finally did it....

I updated my resume. I had such a hard time last year trying to find a job and being rejected by companies that I swore if I ever did get a job, I'd be there forever and never need to update it again. WRONG! That job lasted a total of 12 weeks. I was lucky enough to be accepted as a sub in the school district again without the update so really, I have not seen it since August. I had to find it in one of my lost, forgotten, emails but that was not too bad of a search. Amazingly enough, I went back to my August emails, and Poof, there it was~! :)

The reason for the update is because I am, once again, searching for employment. I am looking for summertime work because as soon as school starts in August, I'll be subbing back in the school again. The woman who found my first post graduation job, has an employment agency and contacts who let her know when they need experienced employees. I hate interviewing, but if I have some money to put away this summer, it'll make the trip to Florida in August much more enjoyeable. So...I have to suck it up and see what God has planned for my summer.

The kids come back tonight and I am trying to get a few things done before they get here. Arielle's birthday is on Thursday and I found out that I am only working a half day so I am going to bring her snacks in after her recess. I also made a word search for her classmates to do that encompasses Arielle and her talents and loves. I hope she likes it.

I guess my son's room is waiting to get cleaned a bit. It'll certainly smell a little better after I fumigate it...

Til later!

Can the sun come out and play???

Dreary, wet, cloudy days are not good for some people who need the sunshine to be awake, happy, and willing to do something besides mope around the house in a slump....


Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.

Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on, please shine down on,
Please shine down on me!

I have had the worst week in terms of people dying around me. Baby Cora died after just 33 hours into her life, My friends father passed away on Tuesday and my former mother in law is close to death now. The kids are there with her in Iowa now and I won't hear any news about that until they get home Monday night. And gray clouds don't help the situation...I miss my kids....and I don't really want to handle these tragedies alone..

Sorry to be such a party pooper....hopefully next week will be better....

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI!

Diana is my sister and she turns a year older today. She is my older sister and she is my best friend. I called her this morning and she has the day/weekend off for the spring break. I mailed off her package so I hope it got to her today or maybe tomorrow. I would not be as sane as I am today if it were not for her and her support. It's cool the way our two lives have entertwined. She and I both told our parents the same week that we were getting divorced. We got married for the second time within 10 days of each other in the same year. We are each others biggest fans. She puts up with me and my crazy ways and I put up with hers. It's a mutual admiration society. I LOVE YOU!!!

My kids just left to go off to Iowa and visitt their sick grandmother for Easter. It was my year to have them for spring break but since my ex-MIL is so sick, I figured it'd be better for me to give in and then make it up later when things weren't so sticky with health issues. I am praying for her health. She has been sick most of her life and she is now 61 with a host of heart and health issues. It's surprising that she has lived this long, after numerous open heart surgeries and pacemakers, and other stuff....I miss the relationship that we had before the divorce. She was like my second mom and after the divorce, the whole family basicaly wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Oh well, I can still pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. God doesn't care....If she dies, I will mourn the death just like any other of my beloved family members.

Talking of death, sorry to be such a downer. I am on rack to attend two funerals this weekend. One of an infant daughter of a coworker of mine. She lived one day. She had a heart defect when she was born and she coded once and then they decided to let her go instead of trying heroic measures to keep her alive. I probably won't go to that one but I know when the funeral is so I'll be thinking about her then. The other one I am helping food with is a friend of mines alzheimers afflicted father. He escaped from his nursing home through a window on Tuesday in the middle of the night. His escape made the news so I was shocked to find it was her father. He is now not in pain and the family can finally rest too. It's awfully hard on a family to take care of a family member with that debilitating disease.

Can I think of anything chipper to talk about? Hmm....no, not really.... well maybe... I got paid early. The bills are getting paid on time....I made a great chicken tettrazini for dinner tonight. Hubby will be home in about an hour...I can sleep in tomorrow morning....what else.....I guess that is it.

I still miss my kids this weekend so I'm gonna close and cry some. Have a great Easter. I may update more later on if I feel a bit more cheery...

Til later!

Monday update----

Today I work at the high school at 11am. I still have to mail my sister's birthday present. I hope to work tomorrow and Wedneswday before Spring break-Thurs-Monday. I gave up my spring break with the kids so they could visit their sick grandmother in Iowa. It may be the last time they see her so I had to do it.

I want to work in the yard and get that ready for the summer. There are broken branches all over the yard that have to be thrown over the fence. I have a rose bush that died last year that is showing some growth so I have to be caqreful with that one. I planted eight rosebuches last year and only three survived. I have to find my strawberry plants and make sure I can get a bumper crop this year. I also go strawberry picking at a local farm and freeze most of them for future desserts.

Lots to do this week. Hope that your week is well.

Til later!

Friday Update!

It's about 10pm and I just looked at the clock! Whoa, time flies when you're doing stuff that you like.

This week was good, worked 3.5 days and got to work at the high school which has the nicest teachers and assistants in the whole district. I got requested 3 times this week and that makes me feel wonderful!

It's the beginning of April and I am trying to redo the budget to put a huge amount into savings and save for the bad summer break where my paycheck will be $0. for about 10 weeks. I am scared to go out and interview for a position anywhere else for the summer. I really want to work at the district and if I save enough money now, we can make it through with the paycheck being reduced. I dread interviews and the endless waiting. I am familiar with the district and the people and my interview process there would be a breeze if I had to do it for a full time position.

Life has gotten busier this week with the start of baseball season. Arielle plays coach pitch softball and Allen will play baseball. They have thier first practice tomorrow. Games start in a few weeks. We also have two birthdays to celebrate. Arielle will be 7 on the 16th and Allen turns 14 on May 2. It'll be a quiet celebration. Not much fanfare this year.

Tonight Allen is sleeping at his dad's because his friend is coming over there tomorrow morning and Arielle is having a sleep over with a friend of hers from school here tonight. I am also trying to catch up on some of the stuff around the house that I have not gotten to in the last couple of weeks.

*Good luck on that one, Andi!*

Well, I better check on the girls. They are watching a movie and pausing the screen so the actors make weird faces, LOL, funny girls!!!

Have a great night. I intend to....

Til later.....