A Girls Life

Time for a new blog

2010-12-15T12:50:00.003-06:00

I just reread this blog from the first post and I have to say...I'm quitting and starting fresh. Probably over the Christmas holiday, I'll start one up. If you are on my twitter or Facebook page, I'll post the link there. If you do not have me there as a follower or friend, look me up...

The new blog will focus on the current stuff...life, kids, Susan, our new life together, and a few other surprises...

Who knows what the future holds. I am an open book and have no secrets...That is truly the way to live, ya know...XOXO

House refinance

2010-12-15T12:20:00.002-06:00

Why is it that whenever I get an idea in my head about making my life easier, it's the hardest of stressful situations to get it there? I have been in refinance hell for the past 76 days. Hopefully, in a few days, I will have a much smaller house payment and have a lower amount to pay each year but as of now....I am going stir crazy with all the red tape and crap that goes with making it a smooth transition between two lenders. UGH!

After the refi, there will be breathing space to finally pay off some stuff and get into a nice pattern for paying off bills. In 10 years we hope to be debt free, totally, consumer debt and house debt. We just made some major renovations (new roof and new pipes and plumbing in the house and out to the street) which brings up the house value and the lower mortgage payments will make paying it off a bright spot in the near future.

I have also taken steps to get some money that someone owes me and that will help in the monthly budget to rid the debt even faster!

I love my life and looking forward to getting on with 2011. This next year will be awesome! All of our big stresses were in 2010 so 2011 should be smooth sailing.

Hoping yours is too.

An update on the wayward children I call my offspring..

2010-12-12T13:03:00.004-06:00

They both live with their father and hate me. Their father and step mother both hate me too. Ongoing theme here, huh?? Hmmm....not much of an update, huh?? However, I am more than happy to report that my youngest offspring, my adorable 8 year old, lives happy and healthy in our home with me and Susan and couldn't be happier. One possible reason for her to be happier than she is now is if Taylor Lautner (her current movie crush) walked through our front door and asked her to be his best friend forever!

Jessi, 19, and Allen, 15, along with their father,(my first ex) and his wife, give off so much hate to me and Susan, and the way we live, I have given them their space after the latest verbal sandblasting in July. My son only contacts me if I have something he wants (like his birth certificate so he can get his driving permit) and then it's back to "I hate mom, I hate mom". He says he has everything he wants at his dad's house and he's happy and that's ok with me. I still have visitation rights and he knows what weekend is mine so if he ever comes over to visit and is nice, I'll honestly fall on the floor from the shock.

His step mother texted me back in October when they found out Susan and I got married in Iowa and told me that both Allen and Arielle were upset about not being part of it or knowing about it. They were going to be put in counseling to help them with the adjustment. HA!! Counseling is what every child in that household needs. To make it clear, Arielle was involved in the planning of the wedding in Iowa. She helped with the rings and the flowers. She knew more about it than I did and she is perfectly happy with mommy and Susan being together. She is happy because mommy is happier than she has ever been and that's what every child should want for their parent. If Allen were to have any contact with me of his own accord, he also would have been a part of the wedding planning. His choice not to be involved in our family here.

Any human being who wants to see their parent dead, or harmed in any way, like my oldest 2 children wish upon me daily, definitely needs some counseling. Does the name Menendez come to mind?? Might want to google that family history...It is not pretty and I am not going down that road!

HAPPY DAY!! Love conquers all hate and bad thoughts. So glad I have such a wonderful support system in place to make all the bad go away...bye bye....

Merry Christmas???

2010-12-12T11:45:00.003-06:00

I found some time in my busy schedule to finally update this blog. I also got a note from a friend of mine in Israel and said that she liked what she read so I feel an update is warranted.

I am currently listening to pod casts on my phone. I downloaded a mess of them, ranging from money to comedy and mom related issues. They are free and the only drag is that I have to charge up my phone more frequently. There is a wealth of information and things that you learn can really help you in your life.

Since it has been quite awhile, I'll update you on what's been happening in my life. When last I left this blog, it was May and summer was just beginning. Well, summer went by in a flash, as it was filled with lots of trips, family gatherings, and lots of visits to water parks. We traveled to Indiana, Missouri, through Kansas to Colorado, a flight for me to Los Angeles and a quick trip in October to Iowa. We spent many many hours in the car and it was an adjustment sometimes but on the whole, it went very well. Our trip to Colorado was 17 hours one way with a puppy dog. We had difficulties finding an appropriate doggy sitter so we ended up taking her with us. She was good and spent half the time on our laps and sleeping in the back with Arielle. We spent a week with my mom and visited with my brother and friends from my high school days. This was the first visit to see family since Susan and I had gotten together so for me, it was stressful. It was a fabulous visit, complete with my friends and mom and brother fully embracing Susan as one of the family. Susan also found out that some of my bad habits, do in fact come from my family. My mother has some of my annoying habits too. I blame heredity. :) Three different water parks were visited in three different states and we got quite a bit of sun..and had a ton of fun in the sun and surf.

I know some of you are wondering about my personal life, and I am more than happy to tell you, it is going perfectly and better than I deserve. Our families summer together was full and more fun and enlightening than any other other time in my life. As you remember from April, Susan and I got engaged to be married. The summer was spent planning that wedding and making sure that our lives together would make a smooth transition for our blended family. We went through both houses and did major cleaning up and decluttering. We moved furniture, replaced broken items, and reorganized bedrooms and by September, we had a moving van come in with a friend of ours and by Sunday evening, we were unpacking boxes and setting furniture up in all the rooms. It looks like a totally different house but it also feels more like home than it ever has before. Susan and I were both born in Germany to GI dads so our front room has artifacts from our respective German childhood homes. Brings a whole new sense of family to the home. Family pictures adorn the walls and have extended family represented. Susan is truly an asset to my disorganization and lack of creativity in decorating. She is great for Arielle too, and takes up the slack when I am not available. She is truly the best thing that has happened to both of us.

In October, we took a weekend and drove up to Iowa to visit some friends and to...get married! Iowa is one of 5 states that legally performs same sex wedding ceremonies so on October 8th, in a judges chamber in front of 2 of our friends, Susan and I got married. We had dinner at a lovely restaurant and visited a Taste of Des Moines Street Fair.

November was very busy, complete with our commitment ceremony for our family and friends. My mom from Colorado and sisters family from Indiana came in as well as friends from Las Vegas and Kansas City. We had a blast and now, are so glad we did it. But we are also glad that we only do this once, because it was a lot of stress in the planning and getting the weather to cooperate. We had 50 degree weather and a beautiful Sunday afternoon in a gorgeous park in Missouri. The pictures are gorgeous!

It is now December and we are racing to Christmas. The tree is up, presents are bought and mostly wrapped, and only 5 more school days til we have winter break for 2 weeks. YAY!! Life has been so hectic and bustling, but I know for a fact, that this year was the best I have ever had in my entire life. I finally found true happiness and know what is important to me and my family. love conquers all hate surrounding us. Tell the truth at all times and show love to all, you will be rewarded for it.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Summer is here...

2010-05-25T19:31:00.002-05:00

Let the good times roll....Planning trips to see relatives and going to have a great time. Now we are packing and planning and trying to eat healthier and trying to lose a bit of weight before the summer is over. We are also trying to be a bit healthier in the finances department. We'll see how the summer goes. I have a chance at a part time job to compensate for the loss of earnings during the summer. Its a bit of a drive but hopefully it'll turn into a job that I will like to do and then it won't be so bad. It's day one of summer and I am going stir crazy with just being home. There is a list of chores that have to get done and I know that they are just waiting for me to cross them off the list. I am better at closing the door on the chore and hiding in another part of the house. Have to change that.....some day..

Oh goodness. I keep looking...

2010-05-18T18:30:00.003-05:00

I have been a tad busy and basically not in the mood to blog anything. I logged on today and to my surprise, I had 33 moderated comments to go through...LOL!

I don't want to advertise my blog, it's just a venting tool for me. It is not my sort of thing..I work in a classroom setting or a secretarial setting.

Things are going well and I love that spring is here and summer is coming..but there are bad things about it too. The school district killed 27 jobs and the teachers were bumped to different classrooms or eliminated. My daughters teacher is being moved to another school and she is heartbroken that she won't be able to see her everyday. Plus there is the part of the 6 week visitation with her father during the summer. He makes it impossible for me to talk to her while she is over there and she is very anxious about that this summer. We are going on a couple of trips before she goes to her dads so it should be a great adventure and memory making for when she is away from us.

Lets talk trips. I have been to over 20 different states and would love to travel more....I have also been oversees and visited many European countries.

Susan and I are planning trips to Las Vegas, Washington DC, San Francisco, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, and many more. I have already seen some of them but others will be a brand new adventure. I love traveling and it will be a highlight to our summers and vacations.

Time to get some household chores done. Thanks to all who read but don't ask me to advertise or your comment will just be deleted... :)

Til then...

A month later...

2010-04-12T08:16:00.003-05:00

I am pleased and happy to announce that there is a wedding in my future. My girl, asked me to marry her Friday night. I graciously accepted and then I went and asked her hte same thing. She accepted also and we exchanged rings. The wedding is planned in the future but we don't exactly know when because while scouting for reception venues, we got the feeling that the date we had picked out, just wasn't soon enough. We'll see how that goes, but I am sure that when it happens, I'll let the important people in my life know...

I have no description of how I feel about her. I have been married twice before to men and I have never felt the love, trust, security, and utter devotion from any person, even my own parents or born into family than I do from her. I look at her and swoon. She makes my life full and exciting. She pushes me to do things out of the box so that I grow in experiences and grow in a love for life, and all the beautiful things life has to offer. I have gone to museums, eaten exotic food, traveled to places that I never even thought of going to before I met her. She is so good for me and my family. I am truly blessed!

And that is my update for today. Going to work out in the garden today, since the weather is going to be GORGEOUS!!

Til later!

Quite possibly deleting blog

2010-03-12T11:24:00.002-06:00

This is a vein that I like to vent through but now it's being surrounded by autobots wanting me to make money off of it. NO THANKS!

March has brought me happiness and family time that I have loved. I never felt this way before with my family(s) before. I feel the love in everything we do, even going to the corner lanudromat doing laundry with my daughter and Susan.The love radiates throughout our home. My only question is, "Why didn't it happen so much earlier in my life?"

I don't think I have regrets because I have learned lessons throughout those experiences. I am grateful for the happiness I have now because I see so many people in society and in my friends circle that don't have it and have so many more headaches and problems than I do.

I pray that those friends and their families can find the peace and the help they need to find it too.

Til later!

We are all getting older...

2010-02-18T16:55:00.003-06:00

My birthday is tomorrow and I am heading towards life with a new focus. My life has changed so much for the better in the past 6 months that I aim to keep it that way. Work is going well, my life is happy with lots of lovely friends and family to support me. I am very lucky to have it all. I want to keep this good attitude for as long as it lasts.

There are low points but I can usually count to 10 and make them seem not so bad. They usually are a learning curve that I have to adjust for so when it happens again, I can go with the flow and see the good point of it all.

Too bad people can't be that way on a normal every day pace. I will try and make it part of my morning ritual to look in the mirror (after my shower)and tell myself, "This day will be good and I will be happy just having it."

Til later!

So Excited About Valentines Day!!

2010-02-08T09:38:00.003-06:00

LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!!

Hope yours is as big and wonderful as I am expecting mine to be. XOXO

HAPPY FEBRUARY!!!

2010-02-01T08:02:00.004-06:00

YAY! I am so happy! January is so hard on me and I am so glad it's over. February entails warmer weather (hopefully), Valentines Day, my birthday, and closer to March, April, and May which are my most favorite times of the year. Spring is my most favorite season because it offers the beginning of life in all shapes and sizes, flowers, trees, babies, etc...It's such a happy time!!!

Hope you enjoy your first day of February as much as I will.

Til later!

HAPPY SATURDAY!

2010-01-30T09:08:00.003-06:00

I am sitting here in my purple bathrobe surfing the web. Come upon a blog page that looks vaguely familiar...hmm..wow, this person has not updated in a few weeks...slow person...should do better...who was it?? ME!!!

Ok, I am sorry for the lack of updates. It's been kind of mind boggling the past few weeks with Allen wanting to move out, and then giving me the cold shoulder and making the decision to actually move out and live with his father. His father and I are making it official with a modified support order and modifying visitation and vacation times, etc...

Allen is already taking great offense to me being anywhere near him so I have the feeling he is going to go the way of his older sister and cut all ties with me. I hope he comes to the realization that he is wrong in his feelings and actions towards me. Time will tell.

Work is going well. I still wished I could get a full time job in the school district but I have patience and hope that I will eventually work there in a full time capacity with benefits and inservice meetings to go to and such...I work about 20 hours a week so that is good and I am holding my own with bills. I guess it's not a secret anymore to say that Susan and I are going to eventually live together, plans are for May-June when school lets out and the kids are home to help with the rearranging of the house. She is moving into my place and her commute will be slightly longer, but financially, it works out better this way. When she saw my house, I was kind of down about it but she propped me up with words of encouragement towards making this house a "home" for us. There will be painting, remodeling, and redecorating ideas flying around my house in the next year. It should be fun....She has some great ideas and she can make them come true, as to where, if I have an idea, it usually dies in the planning stage because I see the job as too monumental for me to do by myself. She truly is my strength...If anyone wants to help in the tear down, suggestions for credible and reliable construction people, remodel, and or clean up, just call me or leave me a comment...

That's all I can think of for now. Gotta do bills..and make sure February is as frugal as can be. One thing that I have seen in my grocery bill this month with Allen gone...only have one milk gallon in fridge instead of 3-4, and the house is quieter after 9pm, even on the weekends, where as before, he would still be on his xbox talking to his long distance buddies until who knows when.

Have a great weekend and Hello February....YAY!! My birthday is in 20 days!!!

Well, real life sets in at day 4 of the new year!

2010-01-11T08:05:00.002-06:00

Not so happy but dealing with real life issues that will affect my life for a long time.

My son, who has known for 3 months that I was gay has flown the coop. I knew he would, just like his sister, and I am very surprised it lasted 3 months. He just can't handle it. He has made his decision based on his religious beliefs and he is entitled to his opinion. He made his decision and I am not stopping him from exercising the choice to leave this house. I don't want him to hurt and that is all he does here,he is hurt, and grumbles, and complains when I ask him to do anything for me. After the ex left, I needed help and as a 14 yr old. he should help around the house and do something other than sit his butt on the computer or his XBOX 360 when he is at home. He has chores to do but he does not do them.

We had a huge discussion about his feelings and he spewed out nasty things about my new lifestyle and my girlfriend. I asked him if I changed who I was, if I were straight and if Susan did not exist in our lives, would he come back? His answer was no.

If being gay was something I could change, I would have 25 years ago. I have been trying to hide and suppress feelings for all those years. They do not go away! And now I am dealing with them in the most positive way I know how. By living openly and honestly. I am happy with my decision for the most part, except it hurting members of my family. I can't help that. I have to be who I am.

Susan, my life partner, if she'll have me (already know the answer,:)), is an honest, caring person who has made her life and accomplishments anybody would be proud of. She is a wonderful cook, loves to play board games, computer games, video games, knows all kinds of sports, loves to travel, watch movies or visit with long time friends in different cities. She is a beautiful person and I am so lucky to have her in my life. She sees in me the kind of person I have always wanted to be and was too afraid to show. I am open and honest with her, with no secrets. There were always secrets to my life, things I had to hide or conceal in any kind of relationship. I don't have to hide anymore. That is so comforting and scary at the same time. I know as time passes and we get to know each other better and live as one family, all those insecurities will go away because she is the kind of person who wants only the best for you. My best is her...

Have a great day!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2010-01-01T08:52:00.003-06:00

Spent a wonderful evening with love, family and board games. Had fun, went to bed around 2:30am and just woke up to watch the Rose Bowl Parade under blankets on the couch. New Years Day at it's finest. Who could complain about that??

Bye 2009, Hello 2010!!!

2009-12-31T10:39:00.002-06:00

Have you ever looked or seen someone you haven't seen in a while and after talking to them and catching up, walk away saying,"Wow, they have really changed..."

I want people who see me in 2010 to say just that. Words like happier, confident, stable, livelier, more outgoing, always smiling...bubblier..come to mind.

2009 was a year of living, exploring, experimenting, realizing the ultimate truth behind so many facets of my life. I changed the way I live, love, and feel others love me. Acceptance and love are the only way to live this world we are a part of. Peace, harmony, and love. That's it. Friendly competition does not have to be an all out brawl to the death.

I will live 2010 and the years following differently. more accepting of people's strengths and weaknesses. We are all human and make mistakes. Not one of us will cease to make mistakes. We will learn from them and grow.

That is all any of us can hope for...a happy life where we can be accepted and loved. I learned this year that I have to accept myself first before anybody else can. Truth is the opening of hearts, minds and friendship to all races, creeds, nationalities, sexual orientation, disabled, etc...We are not here to judge one another for there is only One who can and will judge us fairly. We are here to grow and learn and make the world a better place than when we first got here.

Peace for us all in 2010! Happy New Year!

YAY! Now I can move on...really.....!

2009-12-23T09:19:00.003-06:00

Get on with life and put that part of me to the side, where it belongs.

I am still me, the me who people love and understand is a bit goofy, but lovable. A friend who would rather give til her heart bleeds than let you be disappointed in her. A friend who would put everything on hold to make you happy. That's me...

Well today I am finishing up a present for a very special person. I have found a project that I enjoy doing, that puts that personal touch in, where a group of people connect and can relive past events. It puts a smile on their face, and I grin at the love it represents...and shows.

Christmas is tomorrow and the kids are coming back from their father's for a few days and then are off to Iowa to see grandparents. It's a short time to see them (5 days)and I miss them dearly but I have really loved being here with Susan so we can bond and act all newlywed like. It's been so nice and we will be spending time with the kids during the next few days.

January is gonna be a trial on so many levels. New year, new life, looking for a decent job to help pay bills, seeing what bills I can lower or eliminate completely until the dust settles from the change. How is my new tax situation gonna help with bills for February? Hmm..maybe all the worry will help me lose the 5 lbs. that I gained during all this bonding happiness. So much food and I am eating it all!

Well, I am sure you will hear from me again on the weekend, after all the presents have been opened and smiles, jeers have been received.

Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-22T09:57:00.005-06:00

Better get this off before you guys think I have totally fallen off the cliff.

Things have been so busy around here and my brain is so wrapped up in the current chaos that is my life that half the time, I can't think at all. Does that make sense? Jeesh..I have no idea anymore.

The holidays are upon us and I am currently on vacation from work. Go back on January 4th. Spending lots of time with Susan getting Christmas done for our families......umm...oh yeah...I have not talked about Susan, have I? Hmmm..Lets go back about 25 years...

When I was 13 or 14...I thought I was gay and tried to kill myself..I had always had feelings for women, teachers, friends moms, etc. since I was 7 years old. I tried to come out to my sister and my parents and after my suicide attempt, they thought it best that I was put into a psych hospital for 2 months. Hmm.. I never mentioned my attractions to women after that. I proceeded to join the Mormon church and marry a man who used it against me after we divorced, 13 years later. Mind you, I never had a relationship with a woman, just desired one. He used that fantasy and made my life hell. Even worse after the divorce because he told my kids with a twist here and there to make me a evil person. Always desiring and never having the guts or being ashamed of those feelings not being normal or right, he loved to torment me with it.

Fast forward to 2005. Met and married second husband. My daughter left my house because of what my ex, her father had told her about my "past". I had no past, wanting or having feelings for a woman was my past. I never actually went through with it. I was plagued by my secret coming out. And her father used it against me in getting my children to hate me and want to move in with him. With her, it worked, based on fantasy....now present day. All of my kids know, even the 7 year old, and I am happy to say, she loves Susan and the boy,while not happy, he has made no mention of leaving my house for now so we'll just go day by day and see what happens.

My marriage to the second husband had been over for over a year now we just hadn't had the nerve to say anything to each other, we just did separate things, and enjoyed our separate lives together. There were so many things wrong and we slid into a state where I couldn't handle it anymore.

I had misgivings about my church for awhile for a lot of different reasons. Gay Rights have become forefront in light of Obama's election the past year and I had many visions and dreams about finally coming out. My husband was and still is a devout republican and I could not stand to listen to some of the stuff he was saying about my secret changing political views.

Long story short. I am gay and Susan is my girlfriend and I could not be happier with her in my life. She is everything I need. We came together in September because of a common fondness for the soap opera Guiding Light and their storyline of two heterosexual woman forming a friendship and then realizing that they had fallen in love with each other. It is based on their struggles with their own feelings,feelings for each other, and how they manage day to day life with their friends and family. Sadly, Guiding Light was cancelled and the storyline never was able to run it's full course..so sad. Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia played the roles superbly and are now most loved by a group of beautiful people I hang around with online.

My trip to Las Vegas was for me and 4 of my online friends to attend a fan gathering to meet 12 of the actors from Guiding Light and I had the pleasure of talking to Crystal about my own emergence into the gay world and how difficult it has been for me. I publicly declared in front of over 400 people and the Guiding Light cast how happy I was for the storyline and how much it changed my life. Most thrilling moment of my life!! It is so nice to not have this secret festering in my heart and head anymore. I have since come out on my facebook account and made a public declaration of love to Susan. All my friends and family have been loving and supportive, even if there are few out there who are struggling with my decision to come out so publicly. I am not immune to judgement but so far, it's been minimal. Love me for me, I'm just more honest now than before....no more secrets to hold back...

SO.....Merry Christmas to all. I sincerely hope that you are as happy as I am right now as we are about to enter another year with new avenues to pursue. Next year, I hope to be in a more stable place in life and love.

Til later!

Back from Vegas!

2009-12-09T09:50:00.002-06:00

It's been a day since I have been back and I am organizing the pictures from the trip. I am trying to keep pictures of my friends stuff seperate from mine but I don't know if I can do that successfully. We had so many and frankly, my firends camera was a lot better then mine so we'll see how they look after I put them in the editor.

I will be back with pictures but it could be the weekend before I can get them up. If anyone cares....LOL!

Happy December!!

2009-12-01T16:46:00.002-06:00

Work is good, house is looking well after ex came and got his stuff. Tree is up, and life is going well, if I just had more time to spend with the people I love. That's what I miss most. Movie nights are few and far between, haven't even seen New Moon yet and I want to see the movie with Sandra Bullock...Maybe over Christmas break. Have two weeks off...

Many Happy Days Ahead!!

My Black Friday Savings!!

2009-11-27T10:44:00.003-06:00

We got up at 5am (oh gosh) and went to Walmart first. Bought stuff for $98.19 and saved $128.00 Yay!!!!

Next was Target. Bought stuff for $64.17 and saved $40.47.

Next was Justice for the baby princess in my house. Bought stuff for $68.95 and saved $$42.84.

Last but not least was Gordmans. Bought stuff for $69.01 and saved $85.03.

The grand total for all items bought was $300.32 and the amount saved by going this morning during Black Friday specials was $296.34. WOW!!!!!

And the best part about it is that with the exception of a few minor details, and small gifts, my Christmas shopping is all but done! And I found another great surprise today....Susan loves to wrap!!! I hate to wrap! Could I find a better person to spend my time with? No, I think not!!! I am so lucky!!!! Angel and Bubba are so lucky to have me since they, this year, deserve coal and twigs for Christmas. I am a softy! And sadly, they know it, and use it to their advantage.

And now we are going back to bed since 5am and Andi do not mix, at all!!!! Night!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T07:30:00.004-06:00

Hi all! Happy go lucky Andi here. The turkey is in, Susan is making breakfast for me and her niece who lives with her and I am catching up on computer stuff. I am not slacking... there are pictures of me and the turkey getting quite intimate with butter, garlic, poultry seasoning and the rest....

I am happy today. The kids are with their fathers and I know they are having fun with their relatives in Iowa. Their grandmother is in poor health and not doing very well this year so its best they are with her. I am happy because I feel like everything is going to be fine. I wake up in the morning wanting it all to be perfect and that's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I have to live with that. I have a beautiful soul next to me helping me through the rough time. We are helping each other and that is what makes us happy right now. No one knows tomorrow, but I sure hope she is here by my side tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the rest of our lives. I am thankful for her!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Happy Wednesday

2009-11-25T10:07:00.002-06:00

It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I am getting ready to drive to Susan's house this afternoon for this weekends festivities. Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with her family, or it may just be the two of us, Friday: shopping, Saturday: packing up stuff here, Sunday: getting ready for next week.

I am headed to Vegas to meet up with friends next weekend and I am super excited about it. We are all there to meet up and have some fun! We all need a break from our lives so we are doing just that. Susan can't come with because she has to work but she'll pick me up at the airport and then back to the work week til Christmas vacation. Busy busy month ahead.

I want to wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday weekend. I am truly thankful for the people I have gotten to know in the past year so I could handle the life changes I am experiencing now. THANKS!!

It just keeps on coming....

2009-11-24T06:07:00.004-06:00

It's 6:05am and I am debating on whether or not to let them call me into work today. It should be a super easy day but I have so much on my mind that my heart and body aches with worry and stress.

My father is 65 and lives in Colorado. He shattered his L1 vertebrae on Wednesday. He did not go into the hospital til Friday night after he told my mom, to do what is best. Ambulance took him to hospital. DUH!! he's 6'1" and 110 lbs. He has acute renal failure and is getting a bit better with meds and being pump0ed with fluids to kick start his kidneys again. I asked mom if she wants me to come home for Thanksgiving, but she said no. So I am staying here and waiting on updates.

There are things in my life right now that I have no control over and it's killing me. The ex is being a jerk about money and can't get his freaking act together so I can live. If he does not get me what he owes me, I'll be forced to go on government aide and I really do not like being on the systems payroll. I live in Illinois. The government here can't pay their workers their hard earned pay, what can I expect from a broken system that we have paid into to help the people who are really in need in hard times?? It all just sucks!!

The only saving grace in my life is my BFF, Susan. She helps me whenI am down, comforts me when I am stressed and loves me for who I am and who I am desperately trying to become. We are celebrating Thanksgiving together since the kids are going to their fathers and we are going to get up Friday morning to check out the Black Friday sales. She is up at 4am and I have never done that so it will be an experience. It should be a fun Thursday and Friday.

Oh and then I have Saturday to look forward to.

Saturday the ex is picking up his furniture he still has here, including my queen size bed. He is taking the couch, recliner, bed and living room tv. UGH!! I am so glad that Susan will be there for me cause I am going to need her after he leaves with the stuff. The house will look so empty. Luckily, she is giving me some replacement furniture until I can get settled into my own stuff again.

Well, those are my plans for the week. I hope that my friends in life are happy and will make the most of this holiday season. I look forward to hearing about your life. TTYL!

Update on job

2009-11-17T14:18:00.002-06:00

Well, I never got an interview but I now know why. I was never given the paperwork to register me with the state so I could actually be hired. So the paperwork is being processed and the next time that I have an application I want to file, I'll be prepared and actually get on the interview list.

Life is pretty good. Work is good and my personal life is coming together. The kids are handling their own with having news given to them. Life sometimes throws things at us that we have to contend with. Life is not always what we invision it. It has changes and twists and turns and we have to conform to meet those challenges head on. They are there to help us learn and to teach us how to handle society as a whole as different people with different talents and things to offer. We are all one planet and we have to get along. No hate mongering in my family. I won't stand for hateful talk in my house against anyone.

Update:::
I am in the middle of trying to find out how I am going to support my family now. Just got a rude awakening as to my current financial situation. Oh crap, and right before Christmas too. I have a court order saying that I am owed so much money by January 1st but the person who owes it to me, is being a jerk about it....UGH!! Time to step into action Plan B, C, and possibly Plan D! I will never lend a hand to help someone out of a financial situation mess they caused by their own stupid practices because now I am getting screwed for being nice and unselfish!

LESSON LEARNED!!!

Hi again...

2009-11-10T09:44:00.003-06:00

I don't have to work today so I am catching up on things that have been put on the backburner for awhile.

I am currently waiting for a job application to be reviewed so I can get this job I really want. Prayers would be appreciated since the money situation will be getting pretty thin in a month or so, just before Christmas.

The divorce is final and actually was super fast. He and I are still talking. It's strange cause now I am receiving email forwards from him about stuff that he knew I hated to get when we were married. It's like he wanted out and just be friends....
I can't do that. I need to move on and I am doing that without him.

The kids are doing well. The ex is not talked about and not really an issue. We have other issues that we are dealing with at the moment which have long standing consequences but they will all be worked out eventually too. It involves their father so that is a neverending dilemma.

My wish for all is to have a great upcoming holiday season. It's coming fast and will be here before we know it. Winter storms, ice, snow, down right blistery cold days are all the lovely things that we are going to have to endure the next 4-5 months. I am trying to gear up for it the best I can. We'll see what happens.

Have a great day!

MY LIFE!

2009-09-28T15:53:00.002-05:00

My life is going through great transitions right now and I appreciate prayers going to our family at this time. Anyone who needs or wants more info, contact me directly, do not go through family as they are not privy to my feelings or how we are handling this crisis!

Thank you!

The update of a Lifetime...Pictures

2009-07-24T20:11:00.004-05:00

Jessica and I had a talk about a month ago at church and I told her that I would give her a list of stuff that she left at my house...her yearbooks, projects from school, and other things that she had left behind that I still had in my possession. She called me yesterday, her 18th birthday. She asked me where we wanted to meet to get her those things I had collected for her. We set up a time and place and planned to meet. I was nervous and excited and very scared. Was she gonna be nice...was she gonna tell me to stay out of her life forever? She had both options. I really had no idea.

Well, this was the result....

Allen was there and took the pictures. I was talking so I look goofy but my girl is standing next to me and smiling so it's definitely an improvement over a year ago when she would not even cross the street to give Arielle a hug at a parade. She says she is far away from forgiving me but she still gave me an open door to look through as we take baby steps toward coming back together as a family. I gave her two hugs and a kiss on the cheek and she didn't shove me away so that was very encouraging to me. I love her so much! I just hope in the next few months, as she continues to struggle with her college and new found adult life, she will realize that I am a shoulder she can lean on if she needs it.

I'll keep you up to date. I am so grateful for all 3 of my kids. And the weight being lifted off my shoulders by yesterday's events made for a very restful night.

Til later!

The update of a lifetime....Videos

2009-07-24T18:44:00.007-05:00

I made these two videos as a momento to the 18 years that Jessi has lived so far as my child. She is now an adult and has to live her own life. It was easier capturing moments of her life when she was younger. These videos are a present to her family and friends who have loved her all these years.

Home movies combined into a video set to music. Enjoy!

Still pictures set to music. Enjoy!

Monday, is it August yet?

2009-07-20T11:13:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning and got online and remembered that I had to take my car into the repair guy. My car has not been able to go in reverse for three weeks. I took it in and walked the 3 miles back home. They said probably this afternoon. I said it better be today.....ARGH! $375 later....luckily I have it in savings to take out.

Later.....

Yay! I got my car back! I don't feel so out of control now. Went to Walmart to do a drink run and am now home to work more on my DD's video. T-minus 3 days til my baby turns 18 and it's killing me going through the home movies and sorting through the pics. Oh well...time does not stand still for anyone...not even me...lol

Til later!

What....she's back??? Eh, maybe...

2009-07-19T02:26:00.003-05:00

Oh gosh! Life has kicked my butt and is turning around to make another sweep. Hurry, duck, or jump, or do whatever so it doesn't hurt so bad.

My update is short and sweet! June was me sitting in front of my computer 20-21 hours a day getting things worked out for making videos and spending alot of time on Facebook's farmtown. July has been emotional getting my daughters video together for her 18th birthday which is now only 4 days away. Her leaving 3 years ago was heart wrenching but that was nothing compared to this week when she an legally tell me to get out of her life completely. I know she will do it. I have no legal recourse after this week. She will be an adult and can have me arrested for just wanting to talk to her or looking at her.

The kids are on their 5th week out of 6 of being at their father's house. They come back on the 31st of July and then we get ready for our trip to Florida. Allen has football practice and won't be coming with the rest of us. We'll miss him because we want him with us, but he has told me no, he'd rather be home. OK, whatever. His choice...

I had the great fortune this past week to have dinner with a blogger friend of mine in St. Louis. We have been talking for months and finally got together on Tuesday night. She is a mommy blogger. You can check out her site here...We had lots to talk about and look forward to doing it again really soon.

OK, it's late and my tummy is not feeling well all day so I am going to bed. Church will have to wait another week. I need to stay close to a bathroom, I think. FUN!!

I will update more frequently now since our Florida trip is almost here and there will be lots of pictures to share. Hope every one has been having a great summer. Let me know how you are. *hugs*

Til later!

Tag????? Oh No, I'm It.

2009-05-29T20:29:00.002-05:00

Here is a game....Dedicated to Financial Freedom tagged me and now it's your turn...

So here are the rules:

Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post
Share seven facts about yourself in the post
Tag seven(or how many read your blog) by leaving their names and links to their blogs
Let them know they’ve been tagged.
7 interesting things about me:

1.) I love my kids to total desperation...all of them...even the cranky ones...
2.) My brain never stops thinking about one of my kids all day long.
3.) I love my computer/PDA and have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it.
4.) I am at heart a very lazy person in my opinion, but when I am watching tv or trying to relax, I am doing three different things in my head or walking around not watching and relaxing.
5.) I am quite happy driving 4 hours to my sisters house as long as I have my music cranking in my ears on th elaptop next to me and a cracked open window.
6.) I go absolutely crazy if my bank balance falls under $100.00. I need to have that cushion there to feel secure.
7.) I love my husband and yet sometimes I really don't understand why he does some of the things he does...I guess that's because he's a guy! The ultimate mystery!

OK, this is going to be hard to tag since almost no one reads it. If you have commented, you're tagged...

I am tagging....

All Doors Considered
Organized Doodles
Because Dandelions Are Pretty
The Anderson Clan

I have a high school graduate for a daughter!

2009-05-22T21:23:00.004-05:00

Finally some time to post. Things have been very hectic and very busy here. I worked 24 days straight subbing and this is the first time in weeks I have been able to sit down for any amount of time and get any video stuff done. Jessica graduated high school last Saturday and it was a memorable trip I wanted to share with you. Hope you like it! This is a rough edit but I had to share anyway. There will be a better version hopefully in a few weeks....and a few other videos portraying her life thus far. ENJOY! That is my summer project!

Too much stress from life, family, and work..

2009-04-29T16:34:00.002-05:00

I haven't updated here in awhile so I have decided to take a break from blogging. i can be easily reached via email, facebook, and Twitter. All those extensions are akbennett06.
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?

There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.

Til later...much later....LOL!

Day by Day...

2009-04-21T08:33:00.003-05:00

I wake up in the morning, I go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and think about what kind of day I am going to have. If I think that I am going to have a bad day, something usually happens to make my prediction wrong, or not as bad as I think it will be.

Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.

Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*

I have to get ready for work now.

Til later....

WOW! I really am bored!

2009-04-15T19:02:00.002-05:00

What the heck am I going to do with all the time in the world during the summer to keep myself occupied and out of trouble when kids are gone for 6 weeks and hubby goes to work every day????? I really need to find something to do constructive or else I will go nuts.

I just came from an ice cream place, Maggie Moos, where, today, Tax Day, they were handing out free scoops of ice cream. Got me there! Free and ice cream, my two favorite words together! I wanted coconut but they did'nt have it out so I opted for the mango sorbet. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I saw they had a piint of Pina Cowlada so I got one of those too with the $5 that I had in my pocket. Cheap and Oh so good!

I did a bad thing...sort of...I went to Best Buy and bought a DVD drive for our netbooks and a video editing program and a package of CD-RW's. I really needed all of it so I could have a new hobby for the summer......LOL! There ya go. Bought it with my debit card so it's not credit or anything, which is a plus since my CC's are all cut up and gone anyhow.

I work tomorrow at my sons school and then I go play with Arielle at her last recess at school for her birthday. I am bringing my camera to take pictures of her and her friends. Might as well celebrate with all her classmates. It'll be fun.

Time to see how this new drive works.

Til later....

Why am I crying so much today??

2009-04-15T10:42:00.004-05:00

There is so much going through my head and I just can't control my emotions today. I pet my cat, realize that she is mine and I love her and I tear up. Then my mind goes to the fact that my oldest daughter has never even met the cats. The cats are almost 3 years old. That is so long! I have not had my daughter in my house in that long! That is totally horrible and miserable to me. I miss her so much!

I am also cleaning up Allen's room and that has been a chore. He has these two little monkeys he has and still sleeps with. I WISH that I could get a picture of him at his current age(almost 14) sleeping there with Monkey in his arms the way I found him this morning. To have a silent camera and catch that moment would make my year....he hates having his picture taken so I have to snap one, and run for the hills so he doesn't erase it from the memory card. He truly hates it. I snapped one this morning and he complained but I won out. He tried to tackle me but I told him to respect his momma. He backed off. Picture is safe, LOL! I took him to school this morning and he is upset that he has to take the bus tomorrow at his dads. I take him whenever I can and at his dad's that is not an option at all. He likes being pampered and I like doing it for him. It gives me 10 minutes of time of whatever with him...he loves to talk about stuff that happens in his life then so I eat it up....I hope that it continues for awhile.

Now I know why I am tearing up.....read the pragraphs above and you'd be crying too.

Oh and another...my baby turns 7 tomorrow! That's the saddest part of all. She is seriously excited about it! We are going to see Hannah Montana on Saturday and I am bringing her cupcakes to school this afternoon so her class can have them there tomorrow for lunch. And I have to close this up so I can get that done.

Hope your day goes well. If I make it through this week, I'll be very happy...

Til later!

I finally did it....

2009-04-13T16:41:00.003-05:00

I updated my resume. I had such a hard time last year trying to find a job and being rejected by companies that I swore if I ever did get a job, I'd be there forever and never need to update it again. WRONG! That job lasted a total of 12 weeks. I was lucky enough to be accepted as a sub in the school district again without the update so really, I have not seen it since August. I had to find it in one of my lost, forgotten, emails but that was not too bad of a search. Amazingly enough, I went back to my August emails, and Poof, there it was~! :)

The reason for the update is because I am, once again, searching for employment. I am looking for summertime work because as soon as school starts in August, I'll be subbing back in the school again. The woman who found my first post graduation job, has an employment agency and contacts who let her know when they need experienced employees. I hate interviewing, but if I have some money to put away this summer, it'll make the trip to Florida in August much more enjoyeable. So...I have to suck it up and see what God has planned for my summer.

The kids come back tonight and I am trying to get a few things done before they get here. Arielle's birthday is on Thursday and I found out that I am only working a half day so I am going to bring her snacks in after her recess. I also made a word search for her classmates to do that encompasses Arielle and her talents and loves. I hope she likes it.

I guess my son's room is waiting to get cleaned a bit. It'll certainly smell a little better after I fumigate it...

Til later!

Can the sun come out and play???

2009-04-10T10:46:00.002-05:00

Dreary, wet, cloudy days are not good for some people who need the sunshine to be awake, happy, and willing to do something besides mope around the house in a slump....

Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.

Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on, please shine down on,
Please shine down on me!

I have had the worst week in terms of people dying around me. Baby Cora died after just 33 hours into her life, My friends father passed away on Tuesday and my former mother in law is close to death now. The kids are there with her in Iowa now and I won't hear any news about that until they get home Monday night. And gray clouds don't help the situation...I miss my kids....and I don't really want to handle these tragedies alone..

Sorry to be such a party pooper....hopefully next week will be better....

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI!

2009-04-08T17:53:00.002-05:00

Diana is my sister and she turns a year older today. She is my older sister and she is my best friend. I called her this morning and she has the day/weekend off for the spring break. I mailed off her package so I hope it got to her today or maybe tomorrow. I would not be as sane as I am today if it were not for her and her support. It's cool the way our two lives have entertwined. She and I both told our parents the same week that we were getting divorced. We got married for the second time within 10 days of each other in the same year. We are each others biggest fans. She puts up with me and my crazy ways and I put up with hers. It's a mutual admiration society. I LOVE YOU!!!

My kids just left to go off to Iowa and visitt their sick grandmother for Easter. It was my year to have them for spring break but since my ex-MIL is so sick, I figured it'd be better for me to give in and then make it up later when things weren't so sticky with health issues. I am praying for her health. She has been sick most of her life and she is now 61 with a host of heart and health issues. It's surprising that she has lived this long, after numerous open heart surgeries and pacemakers, and other stuff....I miss the relationship that we had before the divorce. She was like my second mom and after the divorce, the whole family basicaly wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Oh well, I can still pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. God doesn't care....If she dies, I will mourn the death just like any other of my beloved family members.

Talking of death, sorry to be such a downer. I am on rack to attend two funerals this weekend. One of an infant daughter of a coworker of mine. She lived one day. She had a heart defect when she was born and she coded once and then they decided to let her go instead of trying heroic measures to keep her alive. I probably won't go to that one but I know when the funeral is so I'll be thinking about her then. The other one I am helping food with is a friend of mines alzheimers afflicted father. He escaped from his nursing home through a window on Tuesday in the middle of the night. His escape made the news so I was shocked to find it was her father. He is now not in pain and the family can finally rest too. It's awfully hard on a family to take care of a family member with that debilitating disease.

Can I think of anything chipper to talk about? Hmm....no, not really.... well maybe... I got paid early. The bills are getting paid on time....I made a great chicken tettrazini for dinner tonight. Hubby will be home in about an hour...I can sleep in tomorrow morning....what else.....I guess that is it.

I still miss my kids this weekend so I'm gonna close and cry some. Have a great Easter. I may update more later on if I feel a bit more cheery...

Til later!

Monday update----

2009-04-06T08:57:00.002-05:00

Today I work at the high school at 11am. I still have to mail my sister's birthday present. I hope to work tomorrow and Wedneswday before Spring break-Thurs-Monday. I gave up my spring break with the kids so they could visit their sick grandmother in Iowa. It may be the last time they see her so I had to do it.

I want to work in the yard and get that ready for the summer. There are broken branches all over the yard that have to be thrown over the fence. I have a rose bush that died last year that is showing some growth so I have to be caqreful with that one. I planted eight rosebuches last year and only three survived. I have to find my strawberry plants and make sure I can get a bumper crop this year. I also go strawberry picking at a local farm and freeze most of them for future desserts.

Lots to do this week. Hope that your week is well.

Til later!

Friday Update!

2009-04-03T22:08:00.002-05:00

It's about 10pm and I just looked at the clock! Whoa, time flies when you're doing stuff that you like.

This week was good, worked 3.5 days and got to work at the high school which has the nicest teachers and assistants in the whole district. I got requested 3 times this week and that makes me feel wonderful!

It's the beginning of April and I am trying to redo the budget to put a huge amount into savings and save for the bad summer break where my paycheck will be $0. for about 10 weeks. I am scared to go out and interview for a position anywhere else for the summer. I really want to work at the district and if I save enough money now, we can make it through with the paycheck being reduced. I dread interviews and the endless waiting. I am familiar with the district and the people and my interview process there would be a breeze if I had to do it for a full time position.

Life has gotten busier this week with the start of baseball season. Arielle plays coach pitch softball and Allen will play baseball. They have thier first practice tomorrow. Games start in a few weeks. We also have two birthdays to celebrate. Arielle will be 7 on the 16th and Allen turns 14 on May 2. It'll be a quiet celebration. Not much fanfare this year.

Tonight Allen is sleeping at his dad's because his friend is coming over there tomorrow morning and Arielle is having a sleep over with a friend of hers from school here tonight. I am also trying to catch up on some of the stuff around the house that I have not gotten to in the last couple of weeks.

*Good luck on that one, Andi!*

Well, I better check on the girls. They are watching a movie and pausing the screen so the actors make weird faces, LOL, funny girls!!!

Have a great night. I intend to....

Til later.....

Onto a new week...

2009-03-29T18:18:00.001-05:00

Today was cool and was relaxing.

Life is good again...

Til Later!

Heater is fixed....

2009-03-28T12:23:00.004-05:00

The igniter went out and it cost $100 to get it fixed. $100 that I had to take out of savings but, oh well....

Today is Saturday. Did laundry, will clean up the basement. BIG trash day is April 15th so I am gathering up things/junk in the house to put out and get out of the house. I love the show Clean House on the Style Network and it gets me revved up to clean, inside and out. We have been avoiding a hall closet that has so much crap in it. We never go there so that shows me that there is nothing in that closet that I need to keep. We'll see if I find any treasures that I won't want to let go....lol

Til later!

A very stressful time averted..

2009-03-28T07:42:00.002-05:00

I think...

Being a frugal person, I am always trying to make my life pay less in interest. I always look for the best deal, the best way of shaving needed money to go toward a better frugal idea. I do have my weaknesses though and this one just bit me last week. Confession time... I am a total computer freak...geek..I have a computer obsession. I saw these little netboks and I just had to have one....I waited almost a month before I bit the bullet...and got one (two) for hubby and me.....My inward discussionwent like this..

Andi: I need one

Brain: It's too expensive

Andi: My PDA is on it's last legs...It would cost just as much to get a new PDA as to get this new great netbook..

Brain: NO money....you need to pay down the debt...not up it again.

Andi: I can't What about cHUlive without my PDA. I need to have my files, and budget with me at all times for groceries, my pictures, and music...If I get this netbook, I have internet, files, and portability for the same price.

Brain: What about hubby? He has his PDA.

Andi: But mhy PDA is dying...It won't even stay on for half a second.

The morning of the purchase..

Andi: I can save money and wait til the cash is there in hand.

(Meanwhile, 3am, hubby gets online on the desktop on his log on and blocks mine so I can't et to my files...)

Brain: He's on the computer again. I can't get to sleep..It's 3AM!!! Great, I am awkake and can't check my mail or Facebook since he is on.

Andi: I am getting two netbooks tomorrow.That way there is no fighting about who is on the computer. Everyone has thier own and everyone is happy!

Brain: YUP! We'll find the money someplace.

I worked more hours this week than ever before and there is still two more months left for school. These netbooks will be paid off in the next 3 weeks. A friend of mine is taking an early vacation in May and she has asked me to work her position that last week of school. COOL! A full week working...that'll more than make up money for this purchase.

I transferred all files to my netbook and I am as happy as I have ever been with a computer purchase. No regrets there and hubby loveshis too.

Til later!

Don't ever say "It can't happen to me!"

2009-03-25T09:32:00.002-05:00

Because it can and most likely will.....I am talking about credit cards not holding to their word in a contract.

They can do whatever they want and they only do it for their own best interest!

It doesn't matter what they did to me. I kind of walked in and said that it would not happen to me even though there are tons of other blogs out there saying it happened to them.

I just cut up the remaining "emergency cards" I had and threw them away. Never again, will I have a balance hanging over my head....but I do have to pay these off first. UGH! I was a sucker and now I am paying for it. Eye Opening experience!

I am so mad at myself for being so complacent...not as complacent as others I know but still.....

Today is my mom's birthday. I sent her a recipe book that my church made this past Christmas. She loved it.

Today my eyes were opened!

Today is a new day!

I work all days this week. My paycheck will be bigger than most. Two more months of school days left to work. I am off summer break. I have a cushion for the summer months of no work. I will sub next year. I will go to Florida but I wil not use credit cards. I will use cash and make it a frugal vacation. Lots of beach time and cheap/free activities.

I feel a bit better but I won't feel a ton better until I know I can tell all the credit card companies to off themselves. 3 years from now!

Til later!

I hate it when plans don't work out!

2009-03-21T09:43:00.002-05:00

My reunion with my best friend just went poof! We had planned a trip to the zoo and spending some time together but as usual, something happens to ruin it! Story of my life! I plan stuff, it never happens the way I want it to. I don't wish for surprises, and they come....like my Florida trip!

But, on the other hand, I have so much other stuf to do today, that I was cramming into a couple of hours that now I can stretch out in ways today. Arielle and I are watching Twilight together this afternoon. I have to get the cats from the vet. I have to visit a store and see if I can find a couple of bookshelves (tall and skinny ones) to organize and redecorate my living room and bedroom. I am going to down some ice cream, just because!

My mom's birthday is this week and I have to mail off her present. I am thinking of another thing I want to do concerning my budget but don't know if I will or not. Talk about that later.

Have a great weekend. I aim to make myself feel better because this morning sure didn't go well for me!

Til later!

Florida Paperwork

2009-03-17T19:41:00.003-05:00

It came in the mail today. It gave me a number to call to ask questions. I have a few. I know the staying accomodations are a part of the prize. I know the amenities included are the 2 bedroom villa, fitness room, kitchenette, bicycles and tennis courts to have 1 hour free access. There are a ton of things we can do as I listed in the last post. I am looking forward to the pictures of the scenery that I will capture. The water, beach, shell searching, walks along the surf, etc....Oh it's gonna be awesome! We are driving down. We are taking at least one kid, if not 2, depending on Allen's band schedule. It'll depend on a bit of strategizing with the kids father to get everything the way I want it. It is so worth it though.

I have been seriously enthralled with collecting youtube videos. I have found programs to download them, change the format, and then downloaded them to my MP3 player. I love music and sometimes I can find a video that I have not seen in a very long time or it's a song or artist that I have on a tape that I can't digitally copy. SO......I now have it on my MP3 player to listen to/watch anytime I want, outside of work, I mean....LOL!

Well, that has been my life the past week or so. I have worked almost every day so that makes me really happy. I made mention this morning to the woman who calls me every morning, to make the high school a priority work place for me to work. She said that not a lot of people like it there so I should have a ton of work there. That thrilled me. Have a great night and week.

Til later...... :)

Making Plans for this Trip.....happily giggles

2009-03-13T19:35:00.003-05:00

OK, saving money is always a concern, I mean, it is Florida and at a high priced resort......so we are driving instead of flying...

We are still unsure of when to go but we are fairly certain that we want the kids to go with us.

It is a two bedroom villa with a kitchenette and much more but I am not sure what else.

Plans for being there:

Horseback riding (us)
beach (us)
sunset watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
sunrise watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
golf (Chuck)
swimming (us)
parasailing (I want to so badly)
mini golf (us)
shopping (us)
gathering shells (us)
staying far away from jelly fish (us)
video tape all (me)
taking pictures (us)
making memories (us)
enjoy the time together (us)
relaxing (us)

We'll see what happens....

Til later...

I WON THE TRIP!!!!!

2009-03-12T17:54:00.004-05:00

6 day/5 night trip to Florida! Grand prize! I don't have many details yet but I am sure they will be in my hands within the next week! YAY!!!! Between hyperventilating and have a mild heart attack, I am fine with this news! I am off to dinner at church! Later!

Thursday update...

2009-03-12T15:22:00.003-05:00

I must go through phases because I am not as obsessed with facebook as I was a month ago. Hubby is. It's fun, but I can basically scan the page at the end of the day and not really care what happened when I was gone. I have worked every day this week. I took off today because I needed to make some contact with public relations people that I have to do on business hours. That is now done. I have to email them my contact information but that's a no brainer. I work half day tomorrow so I will do it then.

I am still anxiously awaiting the drawing results. Manic is taking her sweet time with it, but I am sure that it will be posted by midnight tonight! I'll let you know.

This weekend is payday and I am ahead of the game because I have worked so much. I can put money into savings and have it when those annual bills are due in June.

We have a party at church tonight so I am happy to not have to cook.

Boring me, sorry.... Can you tell I am not really thrilled with life right now??

Til later!

Another day....

2009-03-09T19:25:00.002-05:00

Today is Monday. Everything I type seems to sound stupid the minute I write it so I guess this is going to be short. I am working a lot so that makes me happy. I went to pick up a couple of items from a store today and I left depressed and sad. I wanted to buy something and I couldn't. I could have easily put it on my credit card but I didn't and I left with the items that I had bought in the beginning.

I know I made the right choice but I could kick myself for the stupid reckless decisions that I am now paying for. Live and learn and try not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes I really hate life!

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Another chance to either get it right or totally screw up the life you are living now. We'll see what happens.

Til later....the drawing for the blood donation contest is Thursday...maybe later....I really ould use a gift card filled with cash!

Florida would also be nice but cash is king and that is what I am hoping for.

I feel so good tonight...

2009-03-03T21:13:00.002-06:00

I have my music in my ears, and lightheartedness in my heart, it feels wonderful! I worked today and I see bright days ahead....until the bottome falls out from under me, but until then, I am gonna ride this wave of love and warmth and whatever else I can take in.

Does anyone have a cheap, good video editing program to use for making a movie??? I need it to make my project come together....

I got my hair cut today and I really feel young, beautiful and not at all my age!

My two best friends in the world both have a birthday today. And get this, they were both born in 1971. One lives in Utah and the other one lives in Colorado. I talked to them both today and it was a real treat talking to them for awhile. They make me feel loved too so that is great. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, girls! I love you both to pieces!

I'm gonna spend some more time online and then I am taking my butt to bed.....

Til later!

YAY! MARCH IS HERE!!!!

2009-03-01T06:30:00.003-06:00

I love March, you know why??? Because in March, spring arrives! I have never been so happy to see a change in season as I am about this one. When someone asks you what season you like best, I usually say both spring and fall but now I am going to rethink that answer. I love spring, but I have a new reason why that never dawned on me before....It's the beginning of warm weather! I hate the cold and this year has been the worst for that in my book. I hate snow, cold, and starting my car in the early morning to warm up so I don't freeze to death driving the kids to school or me to work. Spring has sprung at my house. The daffodils are popping and this year I am actually going to get some flowers instead of just the leaves. I love flowers of spring, the smell of lilacs in the yard, seeing all the yellow blossoms in the yard. My tulips are popping out too. I just love it! I'll have yellow daffodils, red tulips, and purple lilacs. Great color for spring!

We started March off right...I woke up early...yeah, like 4:30am early. Got on the computer and saw a nice man whom I have known for years, joined me on facebook, as well as another good friend of mine. COOL BEANS! Two in March....YAY!

I looked over the bills for February and I hit a milestone. More down debt and none up! YAY for me again!

Here is the trouble! I have a wanting that I can not seem to get out of my head. It'll cost me about $300 to get all I want. I could buy it in parts, say $30 a month...do I want to do that though??? I am in such a quandry....

A big thing happening this month is that my best friend is coming to town for a couple of days. She lives in Utah and she is here on her college spring break. We need to spend some time together and talk. We have lots to discuss and catch up on. I want to spend some time with her alone, to vent, talk about life, and just share in her company. It's been a long time since we were together and a lot of things have changed between us. I'm excited about her being here and also scared of what may hold on this trip.

March also holds a great thing, more days in a paycheck! I could realistically work 5 days a week for three weeks straight. That hasn't happened in a while considering school snow days, institute days, holiday weeks, it's a wonder I get any money in a paycheck to begin with. I definitely look forward to the long weeks and the possibility of working full days. I can't wait!

Another wonderful thing about the start of March is the Blood drive contest is over and Manic over at Manic Mommy will be choosing winners of those prizes, one of them being a trip to Florida. I so need one of those prizes!

Well, I need to get ready for church but will be back when I find out if I won anything from the drawing!

Til later!

Update on the week...

2009-02-26T16:18:00.002-06:00

It's been a good week, busy and that is what made it good. It made up for the sickie week we had last week.

I worked Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Friday(tomorrow). Three of those days was at the high school so I was very happy with that. I love it there and that is where I have the most friends and the most fun.

Tomorrow is payday which is always good since we cut it close this month in terms of using the credit card. Actually I did, but I am paying it off in full tomorrow so it really does not count. It earns cash rewards and it's balance is almost to the point to where I can get a certificate so I have to use it to get to that point. The paychecks landed at the wrong times of the month in February to make paying cash for every thing nearly impossible. Bills are due tomorrow but the pay does not go in until 12 HOURS after the bill is due! How stupid is that? That's my excuse for using the credit and I am sticking to it! :)

I got gas at $1.77/gallon last night and today it popped up to $1.99/gallon so that made me laugh today!

I had a weird dream last night that gave me an incredible craving for something that I am not able to have right now so I have to live without it for now! Someday I'll be able to make the dream come true! Don't have the money for it right now, but some day!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend. I am going to spend some time online and hopefully speaking to a couple of friends who I have been neglecting, not on purpose, but with making life priority. Talk to you soon!

Til later!

Another year older...wiser...nah!

2009-02-24T20:21:00.003-06:00

How did I spend my birthday? The same way I spent the next 2 days after that. Stuck at home with sick kids. Allen and Arielle both were sick so I stayed home from work and took care of them. I worked a total of 7 hours that whole week so this week, I have made up for it by working yesterday and today at schools. Yesterday I was lucky to work in the morning and when I was working that shift, they called me to work in another school for the afternoon so that was a extra good thing. Today I worked at a school of 5th and 6th graders. It was a long day with a tornado drill and spring pictures interrupting the day schedule. I was wiping sweat off my brow as I waved them good bye.

Arielle and Allen are feeling better. I can't wait until spring. I am so sick of a cold car in the morning and a cold car at night if I have to go somewhere. and sick kids too...

Not much to tell anymore. It's been a work day and I am tired. I made meatball subs for dinner and I need to catch up on my watching shows that I taped the previous days. I am going to the library more often and checking out books, audio books and movies that I have not seen in awhile. Cheap and fun...that is my life right now. I have to save as much money as possible to make it through the summer months. Oh, I found out today they are eliminating a ed. asst job at the school I was at today and they are also laying off a couple of teachers positions for the upcoming school year. Yeah, great news for my employer...NOT! Pray that it gets better. Only God can help us now because the idiots in (insert place of idiot domain) are not doing anything to help it.

There is my rant for tonight. Time for bed. Love you! (You know who you are:) )

Til later!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2009-02-19T03:14:00.004-06:00

Goes to show you, no one can stop the hands of time to make a day special. I am up at 3:14am because Arielle was in bed with us and started hacking up a lung coughing so I made her get into her own bed. Gave her medicine and I can still hear her coughing but now it's becoming less frequent so it's either the medicine is kicking in or she is falling asleep. Either one is a nice sound right now. UGH!

I went to my email to see if I got any birthday wishes from my facebook account. I have the account set up so if any one posts onto my "wall", I get an email from it. I had one. This goofy, lovely former boyfriend of mine, who is now famous in Hollywood, sent me a dear message. I love him. He is so funny and makes my day when he responds to something I have written him. He and I had a fling when I was a senior in high school. He is three years older than me but has never married and at times, I wish I had never let him go. We had some great times together. He is a dear friend who I would love to live closer to...

Well, let's see, it's my birthday. I am 38 years old. For the past 6 months, I have felt like I was 38 years old. No difference, I did not like 37 for some reason. Odd number...maybe..? My goals for 38 are to not use my credit cards at all, not lose my son to my EX the way I did Jessi when she turned 14, and to get a full time position at the school district, and if not there, some place else so I can broaden my wings and fly. I also want to get back down to 140 pounds since the first stint of WW didn't get me there.

Thanks to all who have wished me a happy birthday and will wish me. I am a happy person. I like my life, don't love it right now but with the economy with it is right now, who can love life really?!?! I will love life when I am debt free, the wayward child is back in my life, and the hectics of life are just there, and not trying to bring me down at every turn. I hope I work today, I hope the kids are better today from their illnesses and I hope to have an awesome birthday cake to eat. Black Forest Cake. Made the cake last night, will assemble it today, and hopefully the first bite will be so delicious (I am sure) that I am happy to share with anyone who is around.

Till later!

A quick update while here....

2009-02-18T17:29:00.002-06:00

Today (last night) Arielle was sick and threw up twice, once at 11pm and then again at 2am. I called in sick this morning at 6am. Arielle woke up at 7:20 all ready for school. Her favorite teacher was teaching and she was not going to miss that. I let her go. She said that her tummy felt better and she did not feel sick so I went against my better judgement and let her. Today I did bills and tallied up the money that we still have to go on for the remainder of the month. Not a pretty picture. I have $35 from income tax and my birthday money going into the checking account so it can cover a few loose checks I wrote to the school for stuff that they have yet to cash. It annoys me that they can hold a check for so freaking long while it screws with my budget. Anyway, that crisis is now averted.

I pick up Allen from band rehearsal and he comes stumbling into my car and says "drive home fast. I don't feel very good." OK.......
At home he throws up like Arielle did this morning and he is now curled up in bed sleeping. Neither one of them have a fever so it can't be ruled the flu by normal standards. Maybe a stomach bug. Arielle is fine now so maybe he can just throw up a couple times and be fine. I wish that scenario ....because........my......

BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!!!

I can't have sick kids on my birthday! It's just cruel! TO ME!!!!

Sickness ruined our vacation in June and at least once day over christmas break is always bad because of someone throwing up or something like that.....PITY PARTY FOR ME!

My birthday is the one day the entire year I splurge and do for myself. Every other day, 364 of them every single solitary year (365 for leap year) is for everyone else. This is my day. I am making a Black Forest Cake for myself. And if I have to eat it all by myself because everyone else is sick,then I will!

I went to the library today and borrowed a few DVD's that I like so that is a free gift to me. No money spent and all is good there.

Til later!

Friday Early Morning!

2009-02-13T05:26:00.002-06:00

Woke up at 3:43am and couldn't get back to sleep.

Checked facebook, left messages, and read a few blogs.

Last night I made batter for valentines crepes for this morning. The kids are with their father this weekend so I will not have time to be with them. I bought a card for each and am making their favorite breakfast. I hope they enjoy it.

Hubby and I were discussing who was at fault for the economy and the mess of the government. He said it was the democrats and I disagreed. It's everyone's fault that we are in this mess. Republicans, democrats, and the whole world as a whole! We overspent, used credit to indulge and now we are paying for that in the present economy. Clear and simple! Being in a recession is our own fault. We have to take respnsibility and deal with it and learn from past mistakes. This country has been in crisis before and we'll dig ourselves out, eventually. But don't come to me and say one typical group is at fault for everything. It isn't true! I really and truly scare myself when I start to sound like my father.....*WHOA*

*stepping off soapbox*

I am in love with my library. I just found out last week that they rent movies out. I love this! It's an awesome service to those of you have missed older movies and wanted to see them...Truly a gift. There are also CDs available. I haven't gotten the list of those available but I will check into that later on next week.

Off to check on more things. It's almost 6am and I will have to get up and make those crepes pretty soon. I may get a phone call too to work so I have to get these things done in a timely fashion.

Til later!

Monday morning-

2009-02-09T07:02:00.002-06:00

The week will go as this~

Monday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Tuesday-hope to work, dont know, work on DVD
Wednesday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Thursday-kids off school, Lisa coming over at 10:30am.
Friday-hope to work, kids at dads.for weekend... get paid, pay bills.
Weekend-hope for nice weather. Hope another set of DVDs come into the library.

Money Crunch Time

2009-02-07T07:50:00.002-06:00

There is EX trouble in the air but I am trying to focus on the things I can help to change. He is forever in hate/revenge mode and I can't change that, so...onto....

Goals for February!

Did already~
phone card for Allen
valentines for Arielle

Still have to buy~
printer cartridges
white dress shirt for Allen
pay off DIS!
Arielle wants High School Musical 3

In reality, I am doing very well. I have a job, hubby has a job, and things are going well. paying off stuff I need to is fine, but I still need to stash more money for the summer when I am not working. I have to tell myself, things will be fine, it's still winter, months before summer. Lots of stuff could happen before that. I could be offered a job somewhere....making more than I did now or before.

Faith, Andi, have the faith that everything will work out and things will be fine.

Right!

Have a great Weekend! Nice weather in St. Louis today. Have to be near it today! YAY!

Give Blood, I just did!

2009-02-04T15:36:00.006-06:00

Enter Manic Mommy's virtual blood drive for the chance to win a trip to Sandestin, Florida or other great prizes! I just did.

See how happy I am to have a needle draining blood from my body so another human being can use it at a local hospital? During the winter months, there are many calls for blood due to the low blood supply in hospitals. Won't you make a selfless effort to do this for someone else????? I tried four times in the past month to donate. I had two separate bouts of low iron (anemia) and one broken blood bus but I managed to just quickly find another bus in this area today so I said "ok, let's try this again." I learned how to eat better, increase my iron intake and made me learn a bit of patience. It's in God's time, not mine. I was almost in tears when he said that I was able to donate. Patience, and then try again.

Won't you help out?? Just email the picture of you donating blood to Stephanie before the end of February and you'll be entered in the contest to win prizes. The workers will gladly take the picture and it'll make a great memory. It'll be worth it even if you don't win a prize. Your blood will help a person in need, who may die without it.

Thank you!

The morning did not start out well...

2009-02-02T15:12:00.002-06:00

I was up from 1am til hubby left for work at 4:30am and then work never called so when I did fall asleep, I slept until 7:42am. School starts at 8am. We hustled and bustled and got the kids to school on time. Good thing that I didn't have to go to work because I just was not ready.

Sleeping is not my forte lately. I think I have too many things on my mind to have an uninterrupted sleep. I dream the most stupid, irrational stuff and then it affects my sleep, and my daily these around the house.

I have an irrational fear of using my credit card now. I know that I can use only cash and make it through the month. I know that I have, in the past, used the cards to soothe my own needs and wants. I wanted to make 2009 different and I am glad this month is my birthday so I can not feel guilty about buying something for my birthday.

I am paying off a huge chunk of credit with the income tax refund. It's only $400 but it'll knock out a card in whole. That will be a world of difference in my month. Can I use that as a birthday present to myself? An envelope of cut up cards, yay! I can do that! OK, now I feel better!

Til later!

Happy February!

2009-02-01T08:14:00.002-06:00

Three Things...

The entire month of January I did not use my credit card! YAY!!!
I used cash on everything and had money left over after the month.
My FICO scores are above 710, if I need them for some kind of credit!

It's only gonna get better with this trend.

Have a great week! Have fun in Florida!~

A second snow day!

2009-01-28T09:04:00.004-06:00

It's a winter wonderland out there!

Hubby took the initiative and swept the front walk.

Pretty outside scenery!

My neighbors house and yard.

Look at the car! It's covered. I hope that hubby is nice and unburies it before I need it tomorrow for work.

Outside of my kitchen window.

We have about 6 inches and the kids are home today, as well as yesterday. It is melting off fast but the weather will freeze it again tonight. I hope that tomorrow it will fade some more. I hate cold weather. I am so wanting spring to get here!

Til later!

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....

2009-01-26T16:59:00.002-06:00

Oh my gosh, I thought I had drama in my life but to hear the drama of some people's lives is just too far beyond even what I can imagine.

I worked today but there is a huge storm coming in so we do not know if there will be school tomorrow. I am scheduled to work in the afternoon so it'll be fine if there is school. I like having the extra money. It is extra money now since every penny I earn from today through Friday is beyond my budget and it will all go to extras I have been holding off on, like the printer cartridges that I need for the computer and the minutes for Allen's cell phone. The rest of it will pay off one more card in full and whatever is left over there will go into the escrow account.

I was really happy today doing the job at my son's school. I love it there and I really like the teachers. It would be such a dream come true if I worked there full time. I am going to sub until someone offers me a position. The hours are just great and the work is ok, and the headaches are few. This is what I want to do. I just need a wishing star or a fairy Godmother to grant me my wish. Or a great deal of patience....

We'll see what happens.

Til later!

I want my laptop back!

2009-01-24T09:26:00.003-06:00

I am a very selfish person when it comes to computers in my house. I love it and consider them both mine. Yea, I'm weird that way. My laptop has been out of my house getting fixed for the past 2 weeks. I have to share the remaining computer with the family. I hate it! They naturally want on too but not when it's convenient for me. I can log on to my sites, have them on 4 different tabs, click back and forth all day long. That is my comfort zone, always being in touch with family, or friends at a ding of the ICQ or a blip from the facebook chatbox. I can be at the opposite side of the room and be comfortable that way. NO, now with only one computer at home, I have to share. I dont like sharing. And we all have seperate log in names so it takes a hard log off to log back in under a different name. Mine is totally inaccesible unless I kick them off first and log back on to mine, and that takes a good 9 minutes with a slow start up. I am out of touch, out of reach, and it bugs the heck out of me. I want my own ANDI laptop, that no one touches except for me. I can't afford an ANDI laptop because I was stupid and ran up credit cards and now I am in the mindset of "pay those off first before anything frivolous". Great, I created my own mess! And now I am paying for it. Life lesson learned and at what a price! ARGH!!!! I am praying that my laptop comes home fast before I lose my mind!

Arielle just woke up, tummy is fine, no more sickness, YEAH!! and I want to show her pictures I just found on a flash drive of last years birthdays and vacation.

Have a Happy Saturday!

Whoa! Didn't mean to stay away that long...

2009-01-23T10:48:00.003-06:00

You know what they say about time moving faster the older you get. Since I got facebook, I post on there more and let that be my forum. I know a lot of stuff happened but for the life of me, I have no clue what. I cleaned drawers, bathroom closets, threw away a TON of trash, junk, and papers that were shredded.

I still have to do Arielle's room, the neverending cabinet of plastic tupperware and odd essentials that has to be sorted through. I have to clean out the fridge.

I worked Wednesday and yesterday and loved it and that was a good thing because last night Arielle woke me up screaming that her tummy hurt. She threw up at 5am and I called the schools and told them that neither one of us were going out today. So, I am catching up on bills, playing a bit with the girl and settling in for the weekend.

I went to Walmart yesterday and Aldis to get some essentials. I spent $15 at Walmart (a miracle by my usual standards) and only $23 at Aldis. Not bad for the last half of the month.

Anyway, OOpss...Arielle is mad at her DS video game again. She hates it, darn that game.. Stupid.. (I laugh...) Oh my baby is crying because her game made her lose...

My poor baby....Til later...!

Answer to the comments from previous...

2009-01-17T09:00:00.003-06:00

I made this comment a huge long one so I figured I'd make a post out of it.

My brain had this rolling around in it....

I took the money out of the stash I have to pay my car registration. Had $78 in cash so I took the $20 and went to Aldis: (compare this to prices in your area)

2 gallons milk 2.79 each
3 white bread .79 each
rice cereal 2.19
chewable vitamins 2.99
12 large eggs 1.28
2 blocks cheese 1.99 each
bananas 1.37
Tax 1.25% .25

GRAND TOTAL 20.01

I'll write a check when I do the car at the end of the month. I have learned through hard times, to always have a buffer in checking account ($100.00). I absolutely hate getting into it because my luck, I'd forget something and it'd come up that month. Buffers are great, just as a coin jar is. My coins go to laundry which I also have to do today. That's only $2.50 and already stashed away.

My children do not get allowance. They want something to buy, I usually got it for them. It was the cheaper way for me. Sometimes they asked alot, other times they didn't. It all evened out. Naturally the boy is more expensive with all his electronic games but that is coming to a halt this year and every other year where I still have a debt to pay. There is no credit card so there is no money. That was not my thinking last year and the balances always stayed the same or went up. Not this year. I am going to see a big improvement in our debt status this year. If it kills me.

February should be a very good month in terms of money, three paychecks, my birthday, and income taxes are all coming. The income taxes won't be much, maybe a extra $100 or so, (Used to be $2,000) but it's more than we have now so I just have to be patient and wait 13 more days to get over this bad money spot.

I have not been in Walmart since January 3, and then I only bought cat food. I bought most of the weekly groceries at Aldis. I have $41 left on a walmart gift card but I know if I go in there, I'll walk in spending it on stuff I do not need. I'd not go over the gift card limit, but I'd buy stuff that is not essential to my life now. I can't risk that and my control in that store is in the "Eh, who cares? I'll pay for it next month" category. There is a sensor in that doorway that zaps my brain into the "I don't care" mode. It's crazy!

The kids are at their dads until Tuesday night. The holiday plus Tuesday, the teachers have an institute day. That is also Inaugeration Day and I am going to spend it avoiding all news covering the event. I am going to put on several pre taped shows and videos and watch the day away. I'll be glad when it's over! Then he can save this country and make it a better place to live. I would not want his job for all the money (lol) in the free world.

I am giving blood today, or should I say will try to give blood today. Last time i did this, I was anemic and they would not do it, so the past week I have been eating healthy, taking vitamins and making it so it'll work this time. If it happens, I'll post a picture.

I have to get some work done here but I wanted to post about the money situation and update. Have a great day!

I hate being a good girl!

2009-01-16T18:20:00.002-06:00

I have banned myself from using any credit card and I am doing well but today is payday and I need groceries but I know that I need the money for bills and I can't use a credit card. I would see it as a total defeat of all my hard work. We only need milk, eggs, and milk, but we need it for 2 weeks and I also have to gas up my car before the next paycheck. It sucks! I hate being in debt! I hate being a slave to bills and I also hate that I feel like a total failure if I need a credit card to make it through a fricking weekend!

Don't know what I am going to do. Hoping I get inspired before hubby gets home.

YUCK! I hate bills! Guess I am going to squeeze out a $20 from somewhere...

My Mess!

2009-01-14T10:30:00.004-06:00

This is my ongoing project....for about 2 years.

It consists of papers that have been thrown together and saved for another day when I was less busy than the day it was accumulated. Thus....the mess!

Boxes are labeled, and being sorted. Finally, the kids will have their won box to throw their own school work, achievements, papers, etc...into so it is not turning into clutter. Mine is too. I found that I have a ton of school supplies that I could have saved money from September. I always buy more than I need to there is a surplus for the remaining year. It will all be contained into one box for storage when we need something. My picture box is enormous and it's being added on. Found pictures from years past, "hey, that's where you have been hiding." That is my life right now, when I can squeeze that in between work, family, and life in general. I am normal because I am sure your house has a problem like this too. I am just letting people know on a blog. Hee Hee.

Have to go to work now. See you all later!

WORK....

2009-01-13T09:24:00.002-06:00

Andi is happy!

Work is good. I worked at two different schools for 4 days and it felt really good. I called the district and got scheduled for Wednesday and Friday.

I have a feeling that if I do this long enough, I'll get noticed for the good job I do there and be hired on as a full time educational assistant. I am paying down debt and every month that I don't use credit, there is a less of a debt to deal with and more that I can snowball to the balance of said debt.

I know in this economy my subbing job is a blessing. There are people that get layed off that have absolutely no income to pay their bills. I feel so fortunate that I have this opportunity and am grateful that I have the skills that they need to help.

I have to get back to cleaning. Til later!

A hundred posts later....

2009-01-11T07:30:00.004-06:00

Happy 101st blog post. I do like to write and express my opinions, don't I?

I have been going through pictures and I wanted to post a few that have gotten some notice on my facebook account.

These pictures are from 1990. I was married to my children's father and I was 6 weeks pregnant with Jessica, who is now 17 years old.

Another view of my face. I absolutely love my hair in these pictures. My hair does not behave that way anymore so I have had bad hair days for the past 17 years.

I have a few more I have to scan in where I am with the kids and I look exceptionally good and motherly so I will probably put those up later.

Now it is get ready for church time so I better scoot. Have a great day!

Saturday Plans...

2009-01-10T07:34:00.002-06:00

Well, my laptop is at the "shop". It's really at a friends house hoping to either get fixed or have the data transferred to my external hard drive so it's not lost.

I worked three days this week and the classrooms I was in, were not bad at all. I like that kind of a week. It can be really good or really bad, to which I would not be willing to teach that class again. I'd do these again. I am happy subbing for now. I really am ready to work in the school district though. I want to work there full time because even though it's less money, I can fit it into my schedule with the kids and the money would be enough for us to pay down bills and bring in some extra cash so we could enjoy the summers too.

You know how you can look at your past and see the whopper mistakes you made? Well, I am seeing some of those and saying, "What was I thinking?" Time to be smart and not make those mistakes again.

Today is the usual, laundry and making sure we have stuff for this next week. Should be pretty standard weekend. Not going to spend too much money. Have to get gas in my car but that money is in the glove compartment so it's not eating into my budget. It is wonderful when a 20 dollar bill can fill up the gas tank for almost two weeks.

See you later....

Once again, I have computer problems....

2009-01-07T18:00:00.002-06:00

My laptop crashed and that is my save all for my desktop. I have been organizing all my stuff to combine it all onto my external hard drive backup. Luckily, it is not clicking and it's not a blue screen of death. It just won't read the hard drive to start. It keeps popping circuits and jumping to the DVD drive to load. I just hate being without my laptop. It's the third new hard drive in it so it's time for a new computer but I do not have the money for it right now. I am at a point now where I am scared to death of using my credit cards and that is a good thing for me. It used to be way too easy and that is why I am in the mess I am in right now.

I have a friend who's business is compouters and he is getting the computer tomorrow night. Hopefully if he can't fix it, he can at least save the data off the drive.

I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS! I feel so helpless!

And I know this is a minor problem compared to death, medical, financial ruin, house being charcoaled, and job loss (been there), but right now, this is my crisis. I am grateful for that. I think!

Have a nice night. Gotta back up the desktop before I lose it too.

Update for Wednesday

2009-01-07T07:57:00.002-06:00

I am working today. I am so happy becuase if I do not work, my bills cannot get paid and I realy do not like the idea of that. And it is at a school where I like it, so it's a double plus.

Last night was a bust in the blood drive endeavor. My blood came back iron low so I could not donate but I still implore those of you who can , to do it and turn a picture into Manic Mommy's site so you can be up for a trip to Florida and other prizes. I will try again to donate on the 17th, the next time there is a blood bus in myh area that I am willing to travel too. I am not driving to Springfield to donate. That bus will have to come here.

Time to go to work, so see you later...

I am giving blood today, are you able to?

2009-01-06T15:08:00.004-06:00

My friend, Stephanie, over at Manic Mommy is hosting a contest. If you give blood between Jan 1-Feb 28, and send her a picture as proof, she will put your name in a drawing for a trip to Florida and a slew of other prizes. Click on her link and see what more there is to offer. I'll post my picture donating blood here after I get back tonight. Any questions you have can be answered by clicking on her link above. Thank you!

Save lives, donate blood.

Just an observation...

2009-01-04T17:57:00.004-06:00

I love Haribo Gummi bears. I am from Germany and I grew up with them in Germany when we lived there and loved them in the States when we have them here. When I went to NYC in October, my dear friend surprised me with a couple bags of the original, German package of Gummi Bears. I am finding out that not all is the same in the Haribo German and it's relative American version.

Number 1 difference-they taste different. The American version all taste the same. The German ones each have their own distinct flavor, strawberry, apple, lemon, orange, pineapple, and raspberry.

The biggest and most annoying difference is the packaging and the amount in each package. Both have the same size bag. They each should hold the same ration of gummi bears. The German bag is noticeably fuller and on the bag it is labeled as 300g. You know what the American bag has in it? 5 oz. a piddly, measly, pitiful amount of 142g.

What am I going to do about it? What can we, as consumers do about this miscarriage of justice?????? Are we going to let this company reduce the amount of gummi bears in an average size package???? To suit their own selfish wants for a decent profit margin???? Hearing those children crying out to their mommies, "I want more gummi bears!" "Sorry, honey, they only had 60 in the bag." "WAAHHHHHHHH!" The question remains, what can you buy with .02 these days? 1 GUMMI BEAR!

I am blogging about this unfair practice, maybe this will get some word out. It's sad that the world is so today that the consumers that love an age old product has to be ripped off in their love to acquire the great taste of an original gummi bear!

*This blog post was written, and posted by Andi Bennett, lover of the Original Gummi Bear. Spamming, criticism, and offering of other sweets and candies to calm her down is strictly prohibited* Thank you...

Saying I Want to Live By...

2009-01-04T13:22:00.003-06:00

At some point in our lives,
we will have struggles and
we will face adversity.
That's what being
a human is all about.
The key is not focusing on
what you're going through,
but how you are going to get through it.
Make a decision and act on that decision.
(taken from Oprah Show)

2008 was not bad, it was actually pretty good. I graduated from college. How many people can say that? I am working towards working in my field. I can't count on 2 hands how many people I know that have a degree in one subject and yet, have a job in a totally different field. It's crazy...

This year I am going to concentrate my hardest to do what I need to make me and my family have a good year, and what happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a plan, even if we don't see the plan until long after the hardship is over.

Have a great week!

Finding Treasures in the Strangest Places

2009-01-02T00:03:00.002-06:00

I had a pile of CDs and DVDs with no labels and no way of knowing what they were. Tonight I put them all together in a big pile and started to check the directories to label them correctly! I found some true treasures. I don't always backup my stuff but I found tonight one treasure that I am so glad that I did. I have Jessi on video from back in 2005 when I was a host family while our local high school was having a National Honor Society Conference. It was about three weeks before my wedding to Hubby and I was crazy to do it, but it worked out and we all had fun! I have the video and pictures to prove it. Arielle was so cute in the videos too. We did a clapping game and a cup slamming game that I video taped. It was so cool to watch that tonight. Brings back awesme memories. Jessi had a blast! She was smiling and laughing and having a wonderful time! I haven't seen her like that in years. Makes me cry to watch it but I also will keep that CD sacred because of the precious memories that it holds.

Now I can go to bed knowing that I have one more memory on film that I can bring up any time.

Night all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-01T13:47:00.003-06:00

Things I will do more of this year...(in no particular order)

work
read
play
save
organize
smile
blog
chat
befriend
love
clean

Things I will do less of this year...(also in no particular order)

eat
yell
frown
growl
scream
vent
blame
judge
spend
complain
hate

Yup, sounds about good.

What are you going to do this year???

One Last Post Before 2009!

2008-12-31T18:13:00.002-06:00

It's only a few hours before 2009 and I figure one more post would do.

It's been an amazing year, with ups, downs, new friends made, searching out old friends and becoming reaquainted, and making some adventurous trips around this great nation of ours.

I don't really regret any of it, the good or the bad, because I have grown and learned from all the actions that I have made and been through.

The reason I started blogging in the first place a few years ago is because I was obsessive about getting out of debt. I changed it to a family blog when I felt guilty for not suceeding in that endeavor in the time I had allotted for myself. I am still in a great deal amount of debt and my job dealings are not looking so great despite having a degree. The economy is all making us suffer right now and my life is certainly no exception. This blog will continue to be about me and the family and everything I happen to want to write about. It's my journal to cheer, vent, scream, and to let out my emotions, which thankfully do have thier ups too.

As I live this life that Heavenly Father gave me, I will continue to strive to do my best and learn along the way. I know it won't be boring, not for me anyway. Hope it isn't for you either.....

Thanks and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Gosh, I needed this vacation!

2008-12-29T09:12:00.002-06:00

You have no idea how much I needed this for my psyche. I have slept in, not "had" to do anything and it's been wonderful! If I have a plan, and it does not get done, I do it the next day. I am not pressuring myself. It's 9:13am and the family is still asleep. It's going to be unseasonably warm today and tomorrow so I am going to go for my 3 mile walk these two days. I put on pounds again and I want to get back into some kind of fitness routine so I can maintain my weight. Yeah, that sounds like an new years resolution. Nah, I don't keep those, it's just a wishful goal for the coming months.

I am happy to report that Christmas was a success. All the presents were well received and that is my biggest worry at Christmas. Arielle loves her easy bake oven, her DS, and our MP3 player. She and I are sharing one. Allen loves his new 360 games and can't stop texting on his new phone. Hubby smells great due to the new cologne I bought him and he is enjoying downloading mp3's from the internet so he can listen to his favorite music on his new MP3 player. He also needs to watch his new DVD I got him.

I am totally addicted to facebook.com. I have found some friends from my childhood that I never imagined that I would ever talk to again. Our neighbors in Maryland, (1978-1986) now have facebook because of me. Well, at least the mom does. Her 3 daughters and me and my brother used to play endlessly back in those days. The memories are just so vivid when you relive them with people lost before.

Well, the family is still asleep so I better get some things done before they wreck my momentum.

Have a great day and week.

Progress..

2008-12-28T09:29:00.003-06:00

Allen's room is more organized than it was before which is a huge improvement from what it was. You had to step over stuff just to get to his bed. It was awful! His clothes are hung up, his piano is set up on a table and he can actually pactice his music.

Arielle helped with her room. It was not bad to begin with, tackled that mess a few months ago and she has held it up pretty well. Clothes are put away so that is the biggest hurdle in that room.

I was going to take down the tree but I never got to it. Maybe tonight after church. The living room couch has been cleaned and deodorized and the floors have been swept and cleaned.

I went to the laundromat again because of the excess clothes, sheets, blankets, needed to be cleaned. They all smell nice and fresh again.

Today I will hopefully tackle the tree, refrigerator, kitchen, and make and serve dinner before 7pm.

The family got MP3's players for christmas. It isn't an IPOD but I am very impressed with what it does. I am learning about it and ripping CD's so we can all have our favorite music, pictures, and videos with us where ever we go.

I also delivered cookies and treats to neighbors, friends and loved ones. It's always better to give than to receive. Warms the soul when you see the people happy with what you brought.

Toodles...

The Day After Christmas

2008-12-26T08:07:00.004-06:00

They are still sleeping, the hubby and kids,
While mommy sneaks to the computer to get her daily, hourly fix.
Christmas is done, and while it was fun,
There is still so much work to be done

Cleaning bedrooms, sweeping up dirt,
Family must help, or mommy's back will hurt,
So many things we must do and not say
Weather is crazy it's 64 degrees in Illinois today!

Life can be good, smiling faces in the house,
We'll call for the cats, if we see a mouse.
Look forward to new, get rid of the old,
The best stories ever read are happy endings told.

Make this new year, 2009, your best ever!

Why??? Because I said so!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T09:05:00.002-06:00

I am up, hubby is still sleeping and the kids are at their fathers until tonight at 10pm. We'll open all the presents then.

We had a wonderful time with the family this week, and makes me want them all to live closer so we can do it more often. The kids played nicely and the food was excellent and the laughter from stories and watching the new baby was contagious. We did have a few sicknesses that brought down a few family members but yesterday, the house was full with everyone (except my hubby, who had to work) for a musical recital from some very talented family members and the Christmas Story being read out of the Bible before the family got to open presents. The kids, all 17 of them, loved it. They all got the present they had asked "Santa" for. And the adults were pleasantly surprised with their exchange gifts too.

Today we are eating with family again and I have to get my part going. I'll probably post later tonight or tomorrow with the gift tally for the kids.

Hope your day goes well and stay safe. Half of the United States is having a white Christmas! Some of you may grumble by that news but it is Christmas and winter after all. Love to ALL!!!

Week of Family

2008-12-22T08:05:00.002-06:00

My hubby's family got into town this weekend and we spent all day with them on Sunday. We went to church and then went to oldest sister's house and ate, chit chatted for hours, and had lots of family bonding time. We're doing it again today. I appointed myself the photographer of our newest addition to the family who was born this month. She is so adorable and I got some cute pictures of her as she was being held by members of the family. Her parents have a blog and I'll give them copies of the pictures and then I'll link them to this site.

This whole week is family oriented (this week should be, it's Christmas) so I'll not be around so much. I'll update after the presents have been opened. Have a great week, Happy Birthday Kate, and have an enjoyable and safe holiday.

We'll see you all later...

It's a week til Christmas.,,,

2008-12-18T06:16:00.003-06:00

I have to wrap and bake cookies but that is about all I still have to do to get ready for the holiday. The kids are going to be at thier dads this weekend so I can get that stuff done. Hubby's family is coming into town this weekend also. All the cousins will be here, all 25+ family members are converging in on Illinois to celebrate the first granddaughter of the oldest sister on his side. Plus Mom and Dad are getting up in years and the whole family being together means pictures.

Arielle and I went to the mall last night to see Santa. It's probably her last year for pictures with Santa. For one 3x5 and two keychains, it cost $17.00. They have a standing rule that no personal pictures are allowed to be taken so I bit the bullet and bought the cheapest package. In 12 years when she graduates high school, and leaves home, I know I'll look at that picture and remember the smile and the fun time we had that day. The money won't matter and it really shouldn't matter now. I am just glad that technology has grown and now there are scanners, digital photography and the delete button for those stupid pictures that got developed and paid for so many years ago. Who can forget the pictures that were blurry, dark, too far away, off shot, red eye, or just plain goofy! And we paid for them to be developed. Talk about wasted money! So, paying $17 at the mall for a Santa picture in 2008 is not that bad after all.

I found a new addiction. It's called Facebook.com. I know some of you have heard of it. I have found people who I lived by and grown up with. People from my past that I never thought I would talk to again. If they have a facebook account, they can be found. And most are happy to talk. I found a lot of my past friends from high school, I have 2 former boyfriends on there that are doing very well in thier life. I have friends that live 2 miles down the road that I keep in contact with over facebook better than I can in real life or over a phone line. Life is just too busy sometimes but facebook is available 24/7 where as if you call someone at 1:38am, they'd be a little ticked at you for waking them up. 2 out of 3 friends from my NYC trip are on Facebook. Little snippets of life are displayed for friends to see and to keep in contact with. It is so cool! If you don't have one, it's also good for networking.

Well, today I guess, I am spending at home. I worked yesterday at a school but no phone call yet today so it may not happen. I have been called for work later than this, but it's rare. So, I will enjoy the day, stay indoors since it is 20* outside and get some work done around here.

Hope you all have a great day! Talk to you later!

Jumbled rambling....

2008-12-15T19:26:00.003-06:00

We had power all day long....and we had a pretty good day overall. That was the good news. We have another scattering of storm to get through tonight and then...maybe clear skies in a few days.

I still have to tell my sons band director about the peed on band uniform. Oh, I am going to hate having that conversation.

I spent the day cooking...all kinds of food, tapioca pudding for son, zucchini and eggs for whoever wants to eat it, a strawberry compote that I put into the tapioca. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. I am going to make a couple of chocolate desserts for the pre-Christmas party. My ex made chocolate covered peanut butter filled ritz crackers while we were married and I always liked them. I still like them but out of stupidity, I just couldn't dare to eat them. But this year I bought the ingredients so I could make them. I also have the fixins to make a whipped creme dessert of some kind. I want to bake and cook and I really have the cravings now to do it.

I also finished writing the Christmas letter and I got the cards ready to be mailed out tomorrow. Talked to my mom and sister today and my father yesterday. I played a board game with the girl and she was happy about it. We have a decorated Christmas tree in the front room. The living room is clean. Laundry is folded.
While I was finding Christmas decorations I came across some stuff from my daughter, Jessi. I found videos that I had lost for awhile. They were back when she was a baby, her first and second birthday parties. It was good and bad to watch them. I am so glad that we took the videos and that I can now watch them but I would love it if she came here to the house so we could watch them together with her brother and sister and step father. I have to get those taped transferred to DVD so I can edit them to a format that I can work with better. I miss her so much! The holidays make it so hard to let her go. I know she is doing well. Her step mother and I had a long talk the other night about her. I found out that she has been accepted to a few colleges but she doesn't yet know where she is going or if she'll even be able to go. Money is the biggest obstacle there, as it always is.

I still have a list of stuff I have to do but the list is getting shorter. That makes me feel good. Maybe I can survive this holiday yet. Maybe not...we'll see.

Have a good night.

Lovely DAY!

2008-12-14T08:41:00.002-06:00

I wake-up this morning to no power for an hour. Lovely #1.

My cats peed on my son's band uniform. That'll cost me my deposit. Sorry, Mr. Band director, can you dry clean Bubba's uniform, cats decided it was a litter box...Lovely #2.

My clothes from last night were never put in the dryer to dry. Hubby did his first and didn't bother to put mine in. Lovely #3.

Now that the power is back on, I wonder for how long since the wind has picked up immensely and will knock it out again, plus the ice storm hasn't even it yet. When is the question. Lovely #4.

The cell phone is being charged to full power as we speak so it'll be ready for when I do need it.

I HATE WINTER!

Can't wait until April when the threat of snow and ice aren't near as bad!

I'll post after the disaster is over... Be safe!

This truly is NOT working...

2008-12-13T11:54:00.003-06:00

I went on with my normal Saturday errands. Weight Watchers was my first stop. IN the past 2 weeks, I have gained 5 pounds of my loss back. WHAT!!! OK, stress over work has been hard but I should still be losing, instead of gaining a freaking bag of flour back. I'll figure that one out this week with a new tracking food system that we learned today at the meeting.

Second item of business: laundry, at a stinking laundromat. I had to do three loads (son, daughter, mine) today and most of it was towels. With me not working as much, I need less clothes to wear because I leave the house less to do stuff, thus less showering, (day and a half), if I am going to stay in pjs all day. I washed 14 towels in a week. That is not the norm. Usual is 9 or 10, not 14.

There is a huge storm (ice storm) coming into the area Sunday evening/night. They are expecting ice and snow into Monday morning and then all day Monday which will make Tuesday a mess on the streets. This is the good thing about not having that other job. With subbing, I can choose if I want to work this day or that so I have already told the switchboard that I was not coming in Monday or Tuesday. If the weather is bad, there may not be any school anyway. Yeah for all of us because then I don't have to wake up hubby so he can take kids to school. Because if they are having school on Monday, my car won't move from the driveway anyway. I hate the weather that they are forecasting!

My last errand for the day: Weekly groceries. Milk, eggs, bread. There is a ton of food in the freezer that I can make meals from so we'll be alright there. I still have to get local Christmas cards in the mail so they can be delivered. I am saving wrapping until next weekend since the kids will be with thier father for a few days.

Things to do at home today/tomorrow:Put up Christmas decorations. We have to clean up the collection of a mess that has been transferred from room to room and finally do something with it; be it put away, trash or take to Goodwill. This chore has to be done this weekend.

I hope all your weekend ends up safe and let's pray that our area does not suffer too harshly from the storm that is about to hit!

Little Miracles...

2008-12-11T17:10:00.002-06:00

We have a newest family member. My niece had a baby and she was born on Tuesday and Mommy and Daddy are so happy that she is finally here. Makes this Christmas fun for the family. I can't wait to hold her, and then give her back when she cries.....LOL!

Congratulations! We love you and the newest little one too.

Christmas Shopping is Done!

2008-12-07T07:34:00.003-06:00

EDITED::::See below....

With the job loss, the Christmas budget went down drastically but we still wanted it to be nice so we went quality gifts rather than quantity gifts. The tree will be bare this year because the gifts are smaller but pricier. We'd be better off putting up our 3 foot tree. The presents would fit nice and it would look like a lot. Oh, it's going to be so pathetic this year. But, the situation being what it is, there really is no other choice. Maybe, hopefully, next year it'll be better.

Working has been sporadic at best but I hope that after the new year, it'll pick up a bit. I like being back in the schools and I like getting to see friends that I had made before Arielle was born. Most of the school district had renovations done to their schools so it's like I am walking into new schools and I dont' know where anything is anymore. It's exciting.

I am reading two books right now that I bought for my trip to NYC that I never even cracked the spine to. With the extra time off, hopefully I'll read these and I am also doing some more sorting through stuff (an endless task).

Hoping your week goes well.

Edited to Add: I just had a brilliant thought on how to add to the presents to the tree. I have been nickled and dimed all year with "I want"s and "please give me"s all year long. I am going to get all those "presents" and wrap them up again. They received them during the year but they would have made awesome Christmas gifts so that's what they will be. That requires more wrapping for me but I am the only one to know whats in them so it'll be a bigger surprise when they open them up again. *tricky little Mommy*.....I feel better now...

Gotta go where you are needed...

2008-12-05T16:37:00.004-06:00

I didn't even get out of bed this morning until the phone rang. I figured that I hadn't been called in three days and I had gotten up and waited so I just dozed after my alarm went off. The phone rang at around 6:19am for a school opportunity. It wasn't the greatest but I had to because my Christmas budget was not stretching big enough to put it all in. I dreaded going to work and it was ok for awhile but as the day crawled endlessly on, I just wanted it over. I made the money today but I won't be going to that classroom again. I like the older classes better. Give me a middle school or high school and I like it much better.

It's now the weekend and I am relaxing again. I have to do laundry, do some shopping for next week, and go through some more stuff around the house. Right now I am waiting for a friend online so I can veg out a bit. I am also reading some more books that I have put off.

Have a great weekend and have fun at whatever you are doing.

The Benefits of A Vacation

2008-12-04T06:26:00.003-06:00

Everyone always asks "When is vacation, I need a vacation." In my life, vacation means a trip somewhere with kids, luggage, lots and lots of driving in a car, hotels, fast food, and watching the money disappear from the vacation fund or adding debt to a credit card that will take years to pay off. Not a pretty sight in my eyes anymore.

I just had a weeks vacation and it didn't cost me a dime. My vacation consisted of waking up at my usual time, everyone else sleeping, me getting some alone time on the computer, reading a few things that I had tossed aside for another time, making breakfast for the kids, getting them off to school, and then laying around, doing what I wanted to, if that meant doing dishes in the sink, picking up the clothes in the bedrooms, or just watching tv in my bed. No must do's, no rushing to get somewhere...none of the hustle and bustle that stresses people out so much. It was a nice week.

Yesterday I went through pictures. Years of pictures in no order whatsoever. A picture of me, at 5yrs old was in the same stack as a 1998 Christmas picture of the kids. I'll fix that mess over the next month.

I have now determined that I will work part time for now while the kids are still at home. There is time for me to work after they leave the house. Life is better at home now and my brain isn't near as stressed as it was and has been the past month. Thank goodness that I figured it out soon enough. I was going crazy! Now I know it was just having to step back and reanalyzing how my life was being handled and I am much happier now.

Have a great day!

Renewing Past Friendships, Time Passes By...

2008-12-03T06:51:00.005-06:00

I lived in Maryland for 8 years. I moved there when I was 7 and moved away at 15 so I had my formative, skillbuilding, teenage heartache years there. I had my worst years of life in those 8 years but I have also learned that I want to go back and see what I missed in those chaotic years.

I called a past neighbor friend of the family last night. She was shocked to hear from me. The last time we spoke was probably 10 years ago. Kids have grown and moved out, health has declined, parents have died, divorces run amok; so many things to catch up on.

I was totally blown away by the news that a good friend I used to dance on the couch with to FAME records and my ex-boyfriend married and now have 3 kids. WOW!!!!

Time does tick on. Why does it shock us so much? Why are we shocked that life hands us bad things to deal with and we are shocked that our children act like devils in their teenage years. It should not shock us at all. It's happened for millions of years. Adam and Eve had the same problems with their kids. One son killing another son would be a cause of hysterics in my home too. It'll keep going until the Earth doesn't exist anymore. Time ticks...bringing good or bad...it still ticks...

Have a great day!

Getting Life In Order...

2008-12-01T08:56:00.003-06:00

I love the new gadgets they have to personalize your website. Makes it comfy and homey and yours. I added the calendar to basically keep track online of what is happening in my life. I was called into work at a school for this afternoon so that's good. My last paycheck at the old job came today and it was bigger than expected so the extra has already been transferred into savings. I was going to put it towards Christmas but the kids are already getting decent presents so it'll go to something later, if needed. We should always have a stash of savings anyway for emergencies so that pot is a little bigger now.

Have a great day, everyone.

Busy Weekend...

2008-11-30T07:59:00.002-06:00

..but it's been an enjoyable one.

I am embracing this new life I want to take hold of. We spent the whole day Friday at home, never got dressed either. Stayed in my pjs all day long. After hubby went to work, I got the strength and energy to exchange our broken TV in the bedroom with my son's in his room that he never uses anyway. Our TV blew out one of it's color tubes so we were watching orange,blue, and some awkward color tv, never true color. After watching tv like that for 4 months, I finally got it changed out. We went from a 35 inch to a 19 inch but it's worth it to watch something on tv in real color instead of the way we were before. Not sure if the bruises were worth it though. LIfting a tv by myself on my thighs may not have been the smartest move but I'll deal with it. My thighs now have bruises all the way across them and they are tender to the touch and walking is a major feat in the morning. Live and learn....

Saturday Arielle and I went to Weight Watchers, bought some office supplies at Office Max, ate breakfast at Mc'ds, saw the movie Twilight(awesome movie), and then came home. I went to the laundromat and did three loads of laundry, got gas, went to Aldis and bought milk, and then came home again. I went into the basement and searched through dozens of pictures only to realize that my little project of organizing stuff in the basement was going to take a whole lot of time and patience. There is so much clutter(17 years of kids papers from school, pictures, etc...) that I have accumulated in the past 20 years...It's going to be a MAJOR undertaking to get that done.

Tomorrow is December. We woke up this morning to snow. Not heavy sticky stuff but the cars were covered in white....ugh...I hate winter....give me the other three seasons any day over winter....

Tomorrow is December. The first day of the week is the first day of the new month. Perfect launching off point to a new streamlined household budget, a new way of living, and a new outlook on the future. We'll see how this fares....

Till later!

Guess who is NOT shopping Black Friday???

2008-11-28T03:00:00.002-06:00

I will be in my basement sorting through old pictures, and memories from years past. One thing my job did teach me is a new filing system that I want to incorporate into my household clutter. I'll have Arielle help me since I know she likes seeing pictures of herself and I have stuff down there from Jessi and Allen from when they were little. I know she'll love seeing those things. I may cry seeing all of it but when it's organized and looking better than a container full of scribbled on papers, it'll make me happy that I do have these memories still intact.

Hope that everyone's Thanksgiving was a nice holiday. We spent time with family so it was nice. Arielle and I cuddled in bed after coming home and watched Nim's Island. Good kid movie, love Jodie Foster and Abigail Breslin. I fell asleep from 7pm -about 1:30am. Figures that is why I am up at 3am writing in my blog. LOL!

If I find any earth shattering memories (pictures), I'll scan them and maybe make a little memory page. We'll see.

Don't spend too much tomorrow. Our Christmas is going to be bare bones this year...gotta pay down debt and not use those nasty credit cards. I'm aiming to stick to that little "new life" goal...

Happy Day!

I'm unemployed....for 5 days...

2008-11-26T15:46:00.002-06:00

and then I sub for the school district. I won't bore you with the details of my last day, but I left crying and I will miss a few select people. The rest of them...well, they can work at their job and not worry about me anymore.

Onwards and upwards!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am most thankful for the friends I have, the people I have met the past year, the lessons I have learned, and the trials that have taught me valuable things about myself that I did not know before.

Who else is shocked to realize that next week is December? *Seeing hands raised*. Yes, me too. Where did it go? I have gone shopping but my budget is considerabley smaller than last year and the economy is one of the reasons why. My angels will have one big present (already bought), 3-4 small ones and 2-3 will be clothes. Sorry guys, but this year it must be that way....

I already want January to be here. But with December starting on a Monday.. maybe I can pretend that it's the start of something new...yeah, that is what I am going to do. Monday, Dec 1 will be a new start....LOL!

Ask me again December 10 and see how I am progressing in my "new" life.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I'm not Bipolar! Am I? No, I'm not....

2008-11-23T21:31:00.002-06:00

I just have bad days and good days. Saturday was a good day turned bad by a series of events that I won't go into and I went to bed crying. Today I woke up ok and then went to church and heard talks on gratitude and thankfulness and I felt better about my life and all it has in it. I saw friends that I love and they showed that they care about me too. It was nice so I came home content. Tonight I am trying to make up with a friend of mine who was caught on the bad side of my pity party yesterday and I want to apologize but Yahoo messenger is being stupid and her cell is off and I don't know if she is getting the messages I left her and UGH! Maddening!

I'm sorry, I love you and we'll work this out....

I spent 45 minutes talking to a cell phone tech guy trying to fix my voice mail. I finally got fed up but then just as I was about to hang up, he tried one more thing and it finally worked. Thank goodness. I had no caller ID, voicemail and I couldn't text anyone. Now it's fixed and I am so happy.

I have three more days that I have to get up and go to my place of employment. I have to get 9 client files ready. A couple of these clients have a crapload of documents that have to be taken care of after the appointment so by 1pm Monday, I will be so ready to get out of there. I also have to make and party on Wednesday while I clear out my desk and pack everything from my cubicle into my car. It's going to be a bad day! Plus on top of all that, my dear beloved sister is having heart surgery on Wednesday and I am scared to death for her. I can't lose my best friend in all this too. She and I have gotten so close. I'd hate to have anything happen to her.

So, to be fair and objective....I am not bipolar, just have a load of stuff in my life right now to deal with. No wonder my moods are up and down. I hate change and I have my fill of it coming up this week..

WISH ME LUCK!!!

A Girls Life

Time for a new blog

House refinance

An update on the wayward children I call my offspring..

Merry Christmas???

Summer is here...

Oh goodness. I keep looking...

A month later...

Quite possibly deleting blog

We are all getting older...

So Excited About Valentines Day!!

HAPPY FEBRUARY!!!

HAPPY SATURDAY!

Well, real life sets in at day 4 of the new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Bye 2009, Hello 2010!!!

YAY! Now I can move on...really.....!

Merry Christmas!

Back from Vegas!

Happy December!!

My Black Friday Savings!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Wednesday

It just keeps on coming....

Update on job

Hi again...

MY LIFE!

The update of a Lifetime...Pictures

The update of a lifetime....Videos

Monday, is it August yet?

What....she's back??? Eh, maybe...

Tag????? Oh No, I'm It.

I have a high school graduate for a daughter!

Too much stress from life, family, and work..

Day by Day...

WOW! I really am bored!

Why am I crying so much today??

I finally did it....

Can the sun come out and play???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI!

Monday update----

Friday Update!

Onto a new week...

Heater is fixed....

A very stressful time averted..

Don't ever say "It can't happen to me!"

I hate it when plans don't work out!

Florida Paperwork

Making Plans for this Trip.....*happily giggles*

I WON THE TRIP!!!!!

Thursday update...

Another day....

I feel so good tonight...

YAY! MARCH IS HERE!!!!

Update on the week...

Another year older...wiser...nah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

A quick update while here....

Friday Early Morning!

Monday morning-

Money Crunch Time

Give Blood, I just did!

The morning did not start out well...

Happy February!

A second snow day!

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....

I want my laptop back!

Whoa! Didn't mean to stay away that long...

Answer to the comments from previous...

I hate being a good girl!

My Mess!

WORK....

A hundred posts later....

Saturday Plans...

Once again, I have computer problems....

Update for Wednesday

I am giving blood today, are you able to?

Just an observation...

Saying I Want to Live By...

Finding Treasures in the Strangest Places

Making Plans for this Trip.....happily giggles