Monday, January 11, 2010

Well, real life sets in at day 4 of the new year!

Not so happy but dealing with real life issues that will affect my life for a long time.

My son, who has known for 3 months that I was gay has flown the coop. I knew he would, just like his sister, and I am very surprised it lasted 3 months. He just can't handle it. He has made his decision based on his religious beliefs and he is entitled to his opinion. He made his decision and I am not stopping him from exercising the choice to leave this house. I don't want him to hurt and that is all he does here,he is hurt, and grumbles, and complains when I ask him to do anything for me. After the ex left, I needed help and as a 14 yr old. he should help around the house and do something other than sit his butt on the computer or his XBOX 360 when he is at home. He has chores to do but he does not do them.

We had a huge discussion about his feelings and he spewed out nasty things about my new lifestyle and my girlfriend. I asked him if I changed who I was, if I were straight and if Susan did not exist in our lives, would he come back? His answer was no.

If being gay was something I could change, I would have 25 years ago. I have been trying to hide and suppress feelings for all those years. They do not go away! And now I am dealing with them in the most positive way I know how. By living openly and honestly. I am happy with my decision for the most part, except it hurting members of my family. I can't help that. I have to be who I am.

Susan, my life partner, if she'll have me (already know the answer,:)), is an honest, caring person who has made her life and accomplishments anybody would be proud of. She is a wonderful cook, loves to play board games, computer games, video games, knows all kinds of sports, loves to travel, watch movies or visit with long time friends in different cities. She is a beautiful person and I am so lucky to have her in my life. She sees in me the kind of person I have always wanted to be and was too afraid to show. I am open and honest with her, with no secrets. There were always secrets to my life, things I had to hide or conceal in any kind of relationship. I don't have to hide anymore. That is so comforting and scary at the same time. I know as time passes and we get to know each other better and live as one family, all those insecurities will go away because she is the kind of person who wants only the best for you. My best is her...

Have a great day!!!

4 comments:

noexcuses said...

Andi,

I admire you for your honesty. I hope that your kids will come around and love you for the beautiful person that you are.

liz

Andi said...

Thanks. I appreciate your comment. Check your fb account. Love ya!

Morrison said...

Geeze, Andi, this is very sad news. I don't know what to say. Gotta be rough for you, I'd expect.
Just love your son. Hang in there. 'Bout all you can do.

I am the working poor. said...

I just found your blog. What a heartbreaking story! Too often children can make rash decisions based on other peoples opinions, such as their friends or an ex who speaks negatively. I hope he comes around soon.