Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bye 2009, Hello 2010!!!

Have you ever looked or seen someone you haven't seen in a while and after talking to them and catching up, walk away saying,"Wow, they have really changed..."

I want people who see me in 2010 to say just that. Words like happier, confident, stable, livelier, more outgoing, always smiling...bubblier..come to mind.

2009 was a year of living, exploring, experimenting, realizing the ultimate truth behind so many facets of my life. I changed the way I live, love, and feel others love me. Acceptance and love are the only way to live this world we are a part of. Peace, harmony, and love. That's it. Friendly competition does not have to be an all out brawl to the death.

I will live 2010 and the years following differently. more accepting of people's strengths and weaknesses. We are all human and make mistakes. Not one of us will cease to make mistakes. We will learn from them and grow.

That is all any of us can hope for...a happy life where we can be accepted and loved. I learned this year that I have to accept myself first before anybody else can. Truth is the opening of hearts, minds and friendship to all races, creeds, nationalities, sexual orientation, disabled, etc...We are not here to judge one another for there is only One who can and will judge us fairly. We are here to grow and learn and make the world a better place than when we first got here.

Peace for us all in 2010! Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

YAY! Now I can move on...really.....!

Get on with life and put that part of me to the side, where it belongs.

I am still me, the me who people love and understand is a bit goofy, but lovable. A friend who would rather give til her heart bleeds than let you be disappointed in her. A friend who would put everything on hold to make you happy. That's me...

Well today I am finishing up a present for a very special person. I have found a project that I enjoy doing, that puts that personal touch in, where a group of people connect and can relive past events. It puts a smile on their face, and I grin at the love it represents...and shows.

Christmas is tomorrow and the kids are coming back from their father's for a few days and then are off to Iowa to see grandparents. It's a short time to see them (5 days)and I miss them dearly but I have really loved being here with Susan so we can bond and act all newlywed like. It's been so nice and we will be spending time with the kids during the next few days.

January is gonna be a trial on so many levels. New year, new life, looking for a decent job to help pay bills, seeing what bills I can lower or eliminate completely until the dust settles from the change. How is my new tax situation gonna help with bills for February? Hmm..maybe all the worry will help me lose the 5 lbs. that I gained during all this bonding happiness. So much food and I am eating it all!

Well, I am sure you will hear from me again on the weekend, after all the presents have been opened and smiles, jeers have been received.

Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Better get this off before you guys think I have totally fallen off the cliff.

Things have been so busy around here and my brain is so wrapped up in the current chaos that is my life that half the time, I can't think at all. Does that make sense? Jeesh..I have no idea anymore.

The holidays are upon us and I am currently on vacation from work. Go back on January 4th. Spending lots of time with Susan getting Christmas done for our families......umm...oh yeah...I have not talked about Susan, have I? Hmmm..Lets go back about 25 years...

When I was 13 or 14...I thought I was gay and tried to kill myself..I had always had feelings for women, teachers, friends moms, etc. since I was 7 years old. I tried to come out to my sister and my parents and after my suicide attempt, they thought it best that I was put into a psych hospital for 2 months. Hmm.. I never mentioned my attractions to women after that. I proceeded to join the Mormon church and marry a man who used it against me after we divorced, 13 years later. Mind you, I never had a relationship with a woman, just desired one. He used that fantasy and made my life hell. Even worse after the divorce because he told my kids with a twist here and there to make me a evil person. Always desiring and never having the guts or being ashamed of those feelings not being normal or right, he loved to torment me with it.

Fast forward to 2005. Met and married second husband. My daughter left my house because of what my ex, her father had told her about my "past". I had no past, wanting or having feelings for a woman was my past. I never actually went through with it. I was plagued by my secret coming out. And her father used it against me in getting my children to hate me and want to move in with him. With her, it worked, based on fantasy....now present day. All of my kids know, even the 7 year old, and I am happy to say, she loves Susan and the boy,while not happy, he has made no mention of leaving my house for now so we'll just go day by day and see what happens.

My marriage to the second husband had been over for over a year now we just hadn't had the nerve to say anything to each other, we just did separate things, and enjoyed our separate lives together. There were so many things wrong and we slid into a state where I couldn't handle it anymore.

I had misgivings about my church for awhile for a lot of different reasons. Gay Rights have become forefront in light of Obama's election the past year and I had many visions and dreams about finally coming out. My husband was and still is a devout republican and I could not stand to listen to some of the stuff he was saying about my secret changing political views.

Long story short. I am gay and Susan is my girlfriend and I could not be happier with her in my life. She is everything I need. We came together in September because of a common fondness for the soap opera Guiding Light and their storyline of two heterosexual woman forming a friendship and then realizing that they had fallen in love with each other. It is based on their struggles with their own feelings,feelings for each other, and how they manage day to day life with their friends and family. Sadly, Guiding Light was cancelled and the storyline never was able to run it's full course..so sad. Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia played the roles superbly and are now most loved by a group of beautiful people I hang around with online.

My trip to Las Vegas was for me and 4 of my online friends to attend a fan gathering to meet 12 of the actors from Guiding Light and I had the pleasure of talking to Crystal about my own emergence into the gay world and how difficult it has been for me. I publicly declared in front of over 400 people and the Guiding Light cast how happy I was for the storyline and how much it changed my life. Most thrilling moment of my life!! It is so nice to not have this secret festering in my heart and head anymore. I have since come out on my facebook account and made a public declaration of love to Susan. All my friends and family have been loving and supportive, even if there are few out there who are struggling with my decision to come out so publicly. I am not immune to judgement but so far, it's been minimal. Love me for me, I'm just more honest now than before....no more secrets to hold back...




SO.....Merry Christmas to all. I sincerely hope that you are as happy as I am right now as we are about to enter another year with new avenues to pursue. Next year, I hope to be in a more stable place in life and love.

Til later!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Back from Vegas!

It's been a day since I have been back and I am organizing the pictures from the trip. I am trying to keep pictures of my friends stuff seperate from mine but I don't know if I can do that successfully. We had so many and frankly, my firends camera was a lot better then mine so we'll see how they look after I put them in the editor.

I will be back with pictures but it could be the weekend before I can get them up. If anyone cares....LOL!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy December!!

Work is good, house is looking well after ex came and got his stuff. Tree is up, and life is going well, if I just had more time to spend with the people I love. That's what I miss most. Movie nights are few and far between, haven't even seen New Moon yet and I want to see the movie with Sandra Bullock...Maybe over Christmas break. Have two weeks off...

Many Happy Days Ahead!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

My Black Friday Savings!!

We got up at 5am (oh gosh) and went to Walmart first. Bought stuff for $98.19 and saved $128.00 Yay!!!!

Next was Target. Bought stuff for $64.17 and saved $40.47.

Next was Justice for the baby princess in my house. Bought stuff for $68.95 and saved $$42.84.

Last but not least was Gordmans. Bought stuff for $69.01 and saved $85.03.

The grand total for all items bought was $300.32 and the amount saved by going this morning during Black Friday specials was $296.34. WOW!!!!!

And the best part about it is that with the exception of a few minor details, and small gifts, my Christmas shopping is all but done! And I found another great surprise today....Susan loves to wrap!!! I hate to wrap! Could I find a better person to spend my time with? No, I think not!!! I am so lucky!!!! Angel and Bubba are so lucky to have me since they, this year, deserve coal and twigs for Christmas. I am a softy! And sadly, they know it, and use it to their advantage.

And now we are going back to bed since 5am and Andi do not mix, at all!!!! Night!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi all! Happy go lucky Andi here. The turkey is in, Susan is making breakfast for me and her niece who lives with her and I am catching up on computer stuff. I am not slacking... there are pictures of me and the turkey getting quite intimate with butter, garlic, poultry seasoning and the rest....

I am happy today. The kids are with their fathers and I know they are having fun with their relatives in Iowa. Their grandmother is in poor health and not doing very well this year so its best they are with her. I am happy because I feel like everything is going to be fine. I wake up in the morning wanting it all to be perfect and that's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I have to live with that. I have a beautiful soul next to me helping me through the rough time. We are helping each other and that is what makes us happy right now. No one knows tomorrow, but I sure hope she is here by my side tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the rest of our lives. I am thankful for her!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Wednesday

It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I am getting ready to drive to Susan's house this afternoon for this weekends festivities. Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with her family, or it may just be the two of us, Friday: shopping, Saturday: packing up stuff here, Sunday: getting ready for next week.

I am headed to Vegas to meet up with friends next weekend and I am super excited about it. We are all there to meet up and have some fun! We all need a break from our lives so we are doing just that. Susan can't come with because she has to work but she'll pick me up at the airport and then back to the work week til Christmas vacation. Busy busy month ahead.

I want to wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday weekend. I am truly thankful for the people I have gotten to know in the past year so I could handle the life changes I am experiencing now. THANKS!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

It just keeps on coming....

It's 6:05am and I am debating on whether or not to let them call me into work today. It should be a super easy day but I have so much on my mind that my heart and body aches with worry and stress.

My father is 65 and lives in Colorado. He shattered his L1 vertebrae on Wednesday. He did not go into the hospital til Friday night after he told my mom, to do what is best. Ambulance took him to hospital. DUH!! he's 6'1" and 110 lbs. He has acute renal failure and is getting a bit better with meds and being pump0ed with fluids to kick start his kidneys again. I asked mom if she wants me to come home for Thanksgiving, but she said no. So I am staying here and waiting on updates.

There are things in my life right now that I have no control over and it's killing me. The ex is being a jerk about money and can't get his freaking act together so I can live. If he does not get me what he owes me, I'll be forced to go on government aide and I really do not like being on the systems payroll. I live in Illinois. The government here can't pay their workers their hard earned pay, what can I expect from a broken system that we have paid into to help the people who are really in need in hard times?? It all just sucks!!

The only saving grace in my life is my BFF, Susan. She helps me whenI am down, comforts me when I am stressed and loves me for who I am and who I am desperately trying to become. We are celebrating Thanksgiving together since the kids are going to their fathers and we are going to get up Friday morning to check out the Black Friday sales. She is up at 4am and I have never done that so it will be an experience. It should be a fun Thursday and Friday.

Oh and then I have Saturday to look forward to.

Saturday the ex is picking up his furniture he still has here, including my queen size bed. He is taking the couch, recliner, bed and living room tv. UGH!! I am so glad that Susan will be there for me cause I am going to need her after he leaves with the stuff. The house will look so empty. Luckily, she is giving me some replacement furniture until I can get settled into my own stuff again.

Well, those are my plans for the week. I hope that my friends in life are happy and will make the most of this holiday season. I look forward to hearing about your life. TTYL!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Update on job

Well, I never got an interview but I now know why. I was never given the paperwork to register me with the state so I could actually be hired. So the paperwork is being processed and the next time that I have an application I want to file, I'll be prepared and actually get on the interview list.

Life is pretty good. Work is good and my personal life is coming together. The kids are handling their own with having news given to them. Life sometimes throws things at us that we have to contend with. Life is not always what we invision it. It has changes and twists and turns and we have to conform to meet those challenges head on. They are there to help us learn and to teach us how to handle society as a whole as different people with different talents and things to offer. We are all one planet and we have to get along. No hate mongering in my family. I won't stand for hateful talk in my house against anyone.

Update:::
I am in the middle of trying to find out how I am going to support my family now. Just got a rude awakening as to my current financial situation. Oh crap, and right before Christmas too. I have a court order saying that I am owed so much money by January 1st but the person who owes it to me, is being a jerk about it....UGH!! Time to step into action Plan B, C, and possibly Plan D! I will never lend a hand to help someone out of a financial situation mess they caused by their own stupid practices because now I am getting screwed for being nice and unselfish!


LESSON LEARNED!!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Hi again...

I don't have to work today so I am catching up on things that have been put on the backburner for awhile.

I am currently waiting for a job application to be reviewed so I can get this job I really want. Prayers would be appreciated since the money situation will be getting pretty thin in a month or so, just before Christmas.

The divorce is final and actually was super fast. He and I are still talking. It's strange cause now I am receiving email forwards from him about stuff that he knew I hated to get when we were married. It's like he wanted out and just be friends....
I can't do that. I need to move on and I am doing that without him.

The kids are doing well. The ex is not talked about and not really an issue. We have other issues that we are dealing with at the moment which have long standing consequences but they will all be worked out eventually too. It involves their father so that is a neverending dilemma.

My wish for all is to have a great upcoming holiday season. It's coming fast and will be here before we know it. Winter storms, ice, snow, down right blistery cold days are all the lovely things that we are going to have to endure the next 4-5 months. I am trying to gear up for it the best I can. We'll see what happens.

Have a great day!

Monday, September 28, 2009

MY LIFE!

My life is going through great transitions right now and I appreciate prayers going to our family at this time. Anyone who needs or wants more info, contact me directly, do not go through family as they are not privy to my feelings or how we are handling this crisis!

Thank you!

Friday, July 24, 2009

The update of a Lifetime...Pictures

Jessica and I had a talk about a month ago at church and I told her that I would give her a list of stuff that she left at my house...her yearbooks, projects from school, and other things that she had left behind that I still had in my possession. She called me yesterday, her 18th birthday. She asked me where we wanted to meet to get her those things I had collected for her. We set up a time and place and planned to meet. I was nervous and excited and very scared. Was she gonna be nice...was she gonna tell me to stay out of her life forever? She had both options. I really had no idea.

Well, this was the result....





Allen was there and took the pictures. I was talking so I look goofy but my girl is standing next to me and smiling so it's definitely an improvement over a year ago when she would not even cross the street to give Arielle a hug at a parade. She says she is far away from forgiving me but she still gave me an open door to look through as we take baby steps toward coming back together as a family. I gave her two hugs and a kiss on the cheek and she didn't shove me away so that was very encouraging to me. I love her so much! I just hope in the next few months, as she continues to struggle with her college and new found adult life, she will realize that I am a shoulder she can lean on if she needs it.

I'll keep you up to date. I am so grateful for all 3 of my kids. And the weight being lifted off my shoulders by yesterday's events made for a very restful night.

Til later!

The update of a lifetime....Videos

I made these two videos as a momento to the 18 years that Jessi has lived so far as my child. She is now an adult and has to live her own life. It was easier capturing moments of her life when she was younger. These videos are a present to her family and friends who have loved her all these years.


video
Home movies combined into a video set to music. Enjoy!



video
Still pictures set to music. Enjoy!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Monday, is it August yet?

I woke up this morning and got online and remembered that I had to take my car into the repair guy. My car has not been able to go in reverse for three weeks. I took it in and walked the 3 miles back home. They said probably this afternoon. I said it better be today.....ARGH! $375 later....luckily I have it in savings to take out.

Later.....

Yay! I got my car back! I don't feel so out of control now. Went to Walmart to do a drink run and am now home to work more on my DD's video. T-minus 3 days til my baby turns 18 and it's killing me going through the home movies and sorting through the pics. Oh well...time does not stand still for anyone...not even me...lol

Til later!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What....she's back??? Eh, maybe...

Oh gosh! Life has kicked my butt and is turning around to make another sweep. Hurry, duck, or jump, or do whatever so it doesn't hurt so bad.

My update is short and sweet! June was me sitting in front of my computer 20-21 hours a day getting things worked out for making videos and spending alot of time on Facebook's farmtown. July has been emotional getting my daughters video together for her 18th birthday which is now only 4 days away. Her leaving 3 years ago was heart wrenching but that was nothing compared to this week when she an legally tell me to get out of her life completely. I know she will do it. I have no legal recourse after this week. She will be an adult and can have me arrested for just wanting to talk to her or looking at her.

The kids are on their 5th week out of 6 of being at their father's house. They come back on the 31st of July and then we get ready for our trip to Florida. Allen has football practice and won't be coming with the rest of us. We'll miss him because we want him with us, but he has told me no, he'd rather be home. OK, whatever. His choice...

I had the great fortune this past week to have dinner with a blogger friend of mine in St. Louis. We have been talking for months and finally got together on Tuesday night. She is a mommy blogger. You can check out her site here...We had lots to talk about and look forward to doing it again really soon.

OK, it's late and my tummy is not feeling well all day so I am going to bed. Church will have to wait another week. I need to stay close to a bathroom, I think. FUN!!

I will update more frequently now since our Florida trip is almost here and there will be lots of pictures to share. Hope every one has been having a great summer. Let me know how you are. *hugs*

Til later!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Tag????? Oh No, I'm It.

Here is a game....Dedicated to Financial Freedom tagged me and now it's your turn...

So here are the rules:

Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post
Share seven facts about yourself in the post
Tag seven(or how many read your blog) by leaving their names and links to their blogs
Let them know they’ve been tagged.
7 interesting things about me:

1.) I love my kids to total desperation...all of them...even the cranky ones...
2.) My brain never stops thinking about one of my kids all day long.
3.) I love my computer/PDA and have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it.
4.) I am at heart a very lazy person in my opinion, but when I am watching tv or trying to relax, I am doing three different things in my head or walking around not watching and relaxing.
5.) I am quite happy driving 4 hours to my sisters house as long as I have my music cranking in my ears on th elaptop next to me and a cracked open window.
6.) I go absolutely crazy if my bank balance falls under $100.00. I need to have that cushion there to feel secure.
7.) I love my husband and yet sometimes I really don't understand why he does some of the things he does...I guess that's because he's a guy! The ultimate mystery!

OK, this is going to be hard to tag since almost no one reads it. If you have commented, you're tagged...

I am tagging....

All Doors Considered
Organized Doodles
Because Dandelions Are Pretty
The Anderson Clan

Friday, May 22, 2009

I have a high school graduate for a daughter!

Finally some time to post. Things have been very hectic and very busy here. I worked 24 days straight subbing and this is the first time in weeks I have been able to sit down for any amount of time and get any video stuff done. Jessica graduated high school last Saturday and it was a memorable trip I wanted to share with you. Hope you like it! This is a rough edit but I had to share anyway. There will be a better version hopefully in a few weeks....and a few other videos portraying her life thus far. ENJOY! That is my summer project!
video

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Too much stress from life, family, and work..

I haven't updated here in awhile so I have decided to take a break from blogging. i can be easily reached via email, facebook, and Twitter. All those extensions are akbennett06.
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?

There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.

Til later...much later....LOL!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Day by Day...

I wake up in the morning, I go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and think about what kind of day I am going to have. If I think that I am going to have a bad day, something usually happens to make my prediction wrong, or not as bad as I think it will be.

Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.

Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*

I have to get ready for work now.

Til later....

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

WOW! I really am bored!

What the heck am I going to do with all the time in the world during the summer to keep myself occupied and out of trouble when kids are gone for 6 weeks and hubby goes to work every day????? I really need to find something to do constructive or else I will go nuts.

I just came from an ice cream place, Maggie Moos, where, today, Tax Day, they were handing out free scoops of ice cream. Got me there! Free and ice cream, my two favorite words together! I wanted coconut but they did'nt have it out so I opted for the mango sorbet. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I saw they had a piint of Pina Cowlada so I got one of those too with the $5 that I had in my pocket. Cheap and Oh so good!

I did a bad thing...sort of...I went to Best Buy and bought a DVD drive for our netbooks and a video editing program and a package of CD-RW's. I really needed all of it so I could have a new hobby for the summer......LOL! There ya go. Bought it with my debit card so it's not credit or anything, which is a plus since my CC's are all cut up and gone anyhow.

I work tomorrow at my sons school and then I go play with Arielle at her last recess at school for her birthday. I am bringing my camera to take pictures of her and her friends. Might as well celebrate with all her classmates. It'll be fun.

Time to see how this new drive works.

Til later....

Why am I crying so much today??

There is so much going through my head and I just can't control my emotions today. I pet my cat, realize that she is mine and I love her and I tear up. Then my mind goes to the fact that my oldest daughter has never even met the cats. The cats are almost 3 years old. That is so long! I have not had my daughter in my house in that long! That is totally horrible and miserable to me. I miss her so much!

I am also cleaning up Allen's room and that has been a chore. He has these two little monkeys he has and still sleeps with. I WISH that I could get a picture of him at his current age(almost 14) sleeping there with Monkey in his arms the way I found him this morning. To have a silent camera and catch that moment would make my year....he hates having his picture taken so I have to snap one, and run for the hills so he doesn't erase it from the memory card. He truly hates it. I snapped one this morning and he complained but I won out. He tried to tackle me but I told him to respect his momma. He backed off. Picture is safe, LOL! I took him to school this morning and he is upset that he has to take the bus tomorrow at his dads. I take him whenever I can and at his dad's that is not an option at all. He likes being pampered and I like doing it for him. It gives me 10 minutes of time of whatever with him...he loves to talk about stuff that happens in his life then so I eat it up....I hope that it continues for awhile.

Now I know why I am tearing up.....read the pragraphs above and you'd be crying too.

Oh and another...my baby turns 7 tomorrow! That's the saddest part of all. She is seriously excited about it! We are going to see Hannah Montana on Saturday and I am bringing her cupcakes to school this afternoon so her class can have them there tomorrow for lunch. And I have to close this up so I can get that done.

Hope your day goes well. If I make it through this week, I'll be very happy...

Til later!

Monday, April 13, 2009

I finally did it....

I updated my resume. I had such a hard time last year trying to find a job and being rejected by companies that I swore if I ever did get a job, I'd be there forever and never need to update it again. WRONG! That job lasted a total of 12 weeks. I was lucky enough to be accepted as a sub in the school district again without the update so really, I have not seen it since August. I had to find it in one of my lost, forgotten, emails but that was not too bad of a search. Amazingly enough, I went back to my August emails, and Poof, there it was~! :)

The reason for the update is because I am, once again, searching for employment. I am looking for summertime work because as soon as school starts in August, I'll be subbing back in the school again. The woman who found my first post graduation job, has an employment agency and contacts who let her know when they need experienced employees. I hate interviewing, but if I have some money to put away this summer, it'll make the trip to Florida in August much more enjoyeable. So...I have to suck it up and see what God has planned for my summer.

The kids come back tonight and I am trying to get a few things done before they get here. Arielle's birthday is on Thursday and I found out that I am only working a half day so I am going to bring her snacks in after her recess. I also made a word search for her classmates to do that encompasses Arielle and her talents and loves. I hope she likes it.

I guess my son's room is waiting to get cleaned a bit. It'll certainly smell a little better after I fumigate it...

Til later!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Can the sun come out and play???

Dreary, wet, cloudy days are not good for some people who need the sunshine to be awake, happy, and willing to do something besides mope around the house in a slump....


Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.

Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on, please shine down on,
Please shine down on me!

I have had the worst week in terms of people dying around me. Baby Cora died after just 33 hours into her life, My friends father passed away on Tuesday and my former mother in law is close to death now. The kids are there with her in Iowa now and I won't hear any news about that until they get home Monday night. And gray clouds don't help the situation...I miss my kids....and I don't really want to handle these tragedies alone..

Sorry to be such a party pooper....hopefully next week will be better....

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI!

Diana is my sister and she turns a year older today. She is my older sister and she is my best friend. I called her this morning and she has the day/weekend off for the spring break. I mailed off her package so I hope it got to her today or maybe tomorrow. I would not be as sane as I am today if it were not for her and her support. It's cool the way our two lives have entertwined. She and I both told our parents the same week that we were getting divorced. We got married for the second time within 10 days of each other in the same year. We are each others biggest fans. She puts up with me and my crazy ways and I put up with hers. It's a mutual admiration society. I LOVE YOU!!!

My kids just left to go off to Iowa and visitt their sick grandmother for Easter. It was my year to have them for spring break but since my ex-MIL is so sick, I figured it'd be better for me to give in and then make it up later when things weren't so sticky with health issues. I am praying for her health. She has been sick most of her life and she is now 61 with a host of heart and health issues. It's surprising that she has lived this long, after numerous open heart surgeries and pacemakers, and other stuff....I miss the relationship that we had before the divorce. She was like my second mom and after the divorce, the whole family basicaly wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Oh well, I can still pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. God doesn't care....If she dies, I will mourn the death just like any other of my beloved family members.

Talking of death, sorry to be such a downer. I am on rack to attend two funerals this weekend. One of an infant daughter of a coworker of mine. She lived one day. She had a heart defect when she was born and she coded once and then they decided to let her go instead of trying heroic measures to keep her alive. I probably won't go to that one but I know when the funeral is so I'll be thinking about her then. The other one I am helping food with is a friend of mines alzheimers afflicted father. He escaped from his nursing home through a window on Tuesday in the middle of the night. His escape made the news so I was shocked to find it was her father. He is now not in pain and the family can finally rest too. It's awfully hard on a family to take care of a family member with that debilitating disease.

Can I think of anything chipper to talk about? Hmm....no, not really.... well maybe... I got paid early. The bills are getting paid on time....I made a great chicken tettrazini for dinner tonight. Hubby will be home in about an hour...I can sleep in tomorrow morning....what else.....I guess that is it.

I still miss my kids this weekend so I'm gonna close and cry some. Have a great Easter. I may update more later on if I feel a bit more cheery...

Til later!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Monday update----

Today I work at the high school at 11am. I still have to mail my sister's birthday present. I hope to work tomorrow and Wedneswday before Spring break-Thurs-Monday. I gave up my spring break with the kids so they could visit their sick grandmother in Iowa. It may be the last time they see her so I had to do it.

I want to work in the yard and get that ready for the summer. There are broken branches all over the yard that have to be thrown over the fence. I have a rose bush that died last year that is showing some growth so I have to be caqreful with that one. I planted eight rosebuches last year and only three survived. I have to find my strawberry plants and make sure I can get a bumper crop this year. I also go strawberry picking at a local farm and freeze most of them for future desserts.

Lots to do this week. Hope that your week is well.

Til later!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Friday Update!

It's about 10pm and I just looked at the clock! Whoa, time flies when you're doing stuff that you like.

This week was good, worked 3.5 days and got to work at the high school which has the nicest teachers and assistants in the whole district. I got requested 3 times this week and that makes me feel wonderful!

It's the beginning of April and I am trying to redo the budget to put a huge amount into savings and save for the bad summer break where my paycheck will be $0. for about 10 weeks. I am scared to go out and interview for a position anywhere else for the summer. I really want to work at the district and if I save enough money now, we can make it through with the paycheck being reduced. I dread interviews and the endless waiting. I am familiar with the district and the people and my interview process there would be a breeze if I had to do it for a full time position.

Life has gotten busier this week with the start of baseball season. Arielle plays coach pitch softball and Allen will play baseball. They have thier first practice tomorrow. Games start in a few weeks. We also have two birthdays to celebrate. Arielle will be 7 on the 16th and Allen turns 14 on May 2. It'll be a quiet celebration. Not much fanfare this year.

Tonight Allen is sleeping at his dad's because his friend is coming over there tomorrow morning and Arielle is having a sleep over with a friend of hers from school here tonight. I am also trying to catch up on some of the stuff around the house that I have not gotten to in the last couple of weeks.

*Good luck on that one, Andi!*

Well, I better check on the girls. They are watching a movie and pausing the screen so the actors make weird faces, LOL, funny girls!!!

Have a great night. I intend to....

Til later.....

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Onto a new week...

Today was cool and was relaxing.

Life is good again...

Til Later!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Heater is fixed....

The igniter went out and it cost $100 to get it fixed. $100 that I had to take out of savings but, oh well....

Today is Saturday. Did laundry, will clean up the basement. BIG trash day is April 15th so I am gathering up things/junk in the house to put out and get out of the house. I love the show Clean House on the Style Network and it gets me revved up to clean, inside and out. We have been avoiding a hall closet that has so much crap in it. We never go there so that shows me that there is nothing in that closet that I need to keep. We'll see if I find any treasures that I won't want to let go....lol

Til later!

A very stressful time averted..

I think...

Being a frugal person, I am always trying to make my life pay less in interest. I always look for the best deal, the best way of shaving needed money to go toward a better frugal idea. I do have my weaknesses though and this one just bit me last week. Confession time... I am a total computer freak...geek..I have a computer obsession. I saw these little netboks and I just had to have one....I waited almost a month before I bit the bullet...and got one (two) for hubby and me.....My inward discussionwent like this..

Andi: I need one

Brain: It's too expensive

Andi: My PDA is on it's last legs...It would cost just as much to get a new PDA as to get this new great netbook..

Brain: NO money....you need to pay down the debt...not up it again.

Andi: I can't What about cHUlive without my PDA. I need to have my files, and budget with me at all times for groceries, my pictures, and music...If I get this netbook, I have internet, files, and portability for the same price.

Brain: What about hubby? He has his PDA.

Andi: But mhy PDA is dying...It won't even stay on for half a second.

The morning of the purchase..

Andi: I can save money and wait til the cash is there in hand.

(Meanwhile, 3am, hubby gets online on the desktop on his log on and blocks mine so I can't et to my files...)

Brain: He's on the computer again. I can't get to sleep..It's 3AM!!! Great, I am awkake and can't check my mail or Facebook since he is on.

Andi: I am getting two netbooks tomorrow.That way there is no fighting about who is on the computer. Everyone has thier own and everyone is happy!

Brain: YUP! We'll find the money someplace.

I worked more hours this week than ever before and there is still two more months left for school. These netbooks will be paid off in the next 3 weeks. A friend of mine is taking an early vacation in May and she has asked me to work her position that last week of school. COOL! A full week working...that'll more than make up money for this purchase.

I transferred all files to my netbook and I am as happy as I have ever been with a computer purchase. No regrets there and hubby loveshis too.

Til later!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Don't ever say "It can't happen to me!"

Because it can and most likely will.....I am talking about credit cards not holding to their word in a contract.

They can do whatever they want and they only do it for their own best interest!

It doesn't matter what they did to me. I kind of walked in and said that it would not happen to me even though there are tons of other blogs out there saying it happened to them.

I just cut up the remaining "emergency cards" I had and threw them away. Never again, will I have a balance hanging over my head....but I do have to pay these off first. UGH! I was a sucker and now I am paying for it. Eye Opening experience!

I am so mad at myself for being so complacent...not as complacent as others I know but still.....

Today is my mom's birthday. I sent her a recipe book that my church made this past Christmas. She loved it.

Today my eyes were opened!

Today is a new day!

I work all days this week. My paycheck will be bigger than most. Two more months of school days left to work. I am off summer break. I have a cushion for the summer months of no work. I will sub next year. I will go to Florida but I wil not use credit cards. I will use cash and make it a frugal vacation. Lots of beach time and cheap/free activities.

I feel a bit better but I won't feel a ton better until I know I can tell all the credit card companies to off themselves. 3 years from now!

Til later!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I hate it when plans don't work out!

My reunion with my best friend just went poof! We had planned a trip to the zoo and spending some time together but as usual, something happens to ruin it! Story of my life! I plan stuff, it never happens the way I want it to. I don't wish for surprises, and they come....like my Florida trip!

But, on the other hand, I have so much other stuf to do today, that I was cramming into a couple of hours that now I can stretch out in ways today. Arielle and I are watching Twilight together this afternoon. I have to get the cats from the vet. I have to visit a store and see if I can find a couple of bookshelves (tall and skinny ones) to organize and redecorate my living room and bedroom. I am going to down some ice cream, just because!

My mom's birthday is this week and I have to mail off her present. I am thinking of another thing I want to do concerning my budget but don't know if I will or not. Talk about that later.

Have a great weekend. I aim to make myself feel better because this morning sure didn't go well for me!

Til later!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Florida Paperwork



It came in the mail today. It gave me a number to call to ask questions. I have a few. I know the staying accomodations are a part of the prize. I know the amenities included are the 2 bedroom villa, fitness room, kitchenette, bicycles and tennis courts to have 1 hour free access. There are a ton of things we can do as I listed in the last post. I am looking forward to the pictures of the scenery that I will capture. The water, beach, shell searching, walks along the surf, etc....Oh it's gonna be awesome! We are driving down. We are taking at least one kid, if not 2, depending on Allen's band schedule. It'll depend on a bit of strategizing with the kids father to get everything the way I want it. It is so worth it though.

I have been seriously enthralled with collecting youtube videos. I have found programs to download them, change the format, and then downloaded them to my MP3 player. I love music and sometimes I can find a video that I have not seen in a very long time or it's a song or artist that I have on a tape that I can't digitally copy. SO......I now have it on my MP3 player to listen to/watch anytime I want, outside of work, I mean....LOL!

Well, that has been my life the past week or so. I have worked almost every day so that makes me really happy. I made mention this morning to the woman who calls me every morning, to make the high school a priority work place for me to work. She said that not a lot of people like it there so I should have a ton of work there. That thrilled me. Have a great night and week.

Til later...... :)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Making Plans for this Trip.....*happily giggles*

OK, saving money is always a concern, I mean, it is Florida and at a high priced resort......so we are driving instead of flying...

We are still unsure of when to go but we are fairly certain that we want the kids to go with us.

It is a two bedroom villa with a kitchenette and much more but I am not sure what else.

Plans for being there:

Horseback riding (us)
beach (us)
sunset watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
sunrise watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
golf (Chuck)
swimming (us)
parasailing (I want to so badly)
mini golf (us)
shopping (us)
gathering shells (us)
staying far away from jelly fish (us)
video tape all (me)
taking pictures (us)
making memories (us)
enjoy the time together (us)
relaxing (us)

We'll see what happens....

Til later...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I WON THE TRIP!!!!!

6 day/5 night trip to Florida! Grand prize! I don't have many details yet but I am sure they will be in my hands within the next week! YAY!!!! Between hyperventilating and have a mild heart attack, I am fine with this news! I am off to dinner at church! Later!
video

Thursday update...

I must go through phases because I am not as obsessed with facebook as I was a month ago. Hubby is. It's fun, but I can basically scan the page at the end of the day and not really care what happened when I was gone. I have worked every day this week. I took off today because I needed to make some contact with public relations people that I have to do on business hours. That is now done. I have to email them my contact information but that's a no brainer. I work half day tomorrow so I will do it then.

I am still anxiously awaiting the drawing results. Manic is taking her sweet time with it, but I am sure that it will be posted by midnight tonight! I'll let you know.

This weekend is payday and I am ahead of the game because I have worked so much. I can put money into savings and have it when those annual bills are due in June.

We have a party at church tonight so I am happy to not have to cook.

Boring me, sorry.... Can you tell I am not really thrilled with life right now??

Til later!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Another day....

Today is Monday. Everything I type seems to sound stupid the minute I write it so I guess this is going to be short. I am working a lot so that makes me happy. I went to pick up a couple of items from a store today and I left depressed and sad. I wanted to buy something and I couldn't. I could have easily put it on my credit card but I didn't and I left with the items that I had bought in the beginning.

I know I made the right choice but I could kick myself for the stupid reckless decisions that I am now paying for. Live and learn and try not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes I really hate life!

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Another chance to either get it right or totally screw up the life you are living now. We'll see what happens.

Til later....the drawing for the blood donation contest is Thursday...maybe later....I really ould use a gift card filled with cash!

Florida would also be nice but cash is king and that is what I am hoping for.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I feel so good tonight...

I have my music in my ears, and lightheartedness in my heart, it feels wonderful! I worked today and I see bright days ahead....until the bottome falls out from under me, but until then, I am gonna ride this wave of love and warmth and whatever else I can take in.

Does anyone have a cheap, good video editing program to use for making a movie??? I need it to make my project come together....

I got my hair cut today and I really feel young, beautiful and not at all my age!

My two best friends in the world both have a birthday today. And get this, they were both born in 1971. One lives in Utah and the other one lives in Colorado. I talked to them both today and it was a real treat talking to them for awhile. They make me feel loved too so that is great. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, girls! I love you both to pieces!

I'm gonna spend some more time online and then I am taking my butt to bed.....

Til later!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

YAY! MARCH IS HERE!!!!

I love March, you know why??? Because in March, spring arrives! I have never been so happy to see a change in season as I am about this one. When someone asks you what season you like best, I usually say both spring and fall but now I am going to rethink that answer. I love spring, but I have a new reason why that never dawned on me before....It's the beginning of warm weather! I hate the cold and this year has been the worst for that in my book. I hate snow, cold, and starting my car in the early morning to warm up so I don't freeze to death driving the kids to school or me to work. Spring has sprung at my house. The daffodils are popping and this year I am actually going to get some flowers instead of just the leaves. I love flowers of spring, the smell of lilacs in the yard, seeing all the yellow blossoms in the yard. My tulips are popping out too. I just love it! I'll have yellow daffodils, red tulips, and purple lilacs. Great color for spring!

We started March off right...I woke up early...yeah, like 4:30am early. Got on the computer and saw a nice man whom I have known for years, joined me on facebook, as well as another good friend of mine. COOL BEANS! Two in March....YAY!

I looked over the bills for February and I hit a milestone. More down debt and none up! YAY for me again!

Here is the trouble! I have a wanting that I can not seem to get out of my head. It'll cost me about $300 to get all I want. I could buy it in parts, say $30 a month...do I want to do that though??? I am in such a quandry....

A big thing happening this month is that my best friend is coming to town for a couple of days. She lives in Utah and she is here on her college spring break. We need to spend some time together and talk. We have lots to discuss and catch up on. I want to spend some time with her alone, to vent, talk about life, and just share in her company. It's been a long time since we were together and a lot of things have changed between us. I'm excited about her being here and also scared of what may hold on this trip.

March also holds a great thing, more days in a paycheck! I could realistically work 5 days a week for three weeks straight. That hasn't happened in a while considering school snow days, institute days, holiday weeks, it's a wonder I get any money in a paycheck to begin with. I definitely look forward to the long weeks and the possibility of working full days. I can't wait!

Another wonderful thing about the start of March is the Blood drive contest is over and Manic over at Manic Mommy will be choosing winners of those prizes, one of them being a trip to Florida. I so need one of those prizes!

Well, I need to get ready for church but will be back when I find out if I won anything from the drawing!

Til later!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Update on the week...

It's been a good week, busy and that is what made it good. It made up for the sickie week we had last week.

I worked Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Friday(tomorrow). Three of those days was at the high school so I was very happy with that. I love it there and that is where I have the most friends and the most fun.

Tomorrow is payday which is always good since we cut it close this month in terms of using the credit card. Actually I did, but I am paying it off in full tomorrow so it really does not count. It earns cash rewards and it's balance is almost to the point to where I can get a certificate so I have to use it to get to that point. The paychecks landed at the wrong times of the month in February to make paying cash for every thing nearly impossible. Bills are due tomorrow but the pay does not go in until 12 HOURS after the bill is due! How stupid is that? That's my excuse for using the credit and I am sticking to it! :)

I got gas at $1.77/gallon last night and today it popped up to $1.99/gallon so that made me laugh today!

I had a weird dream last night that gave me an incredible craving for something that I am not able to have right now so I have to live without it for now! Someday I'll be able to make the dream come true! Don't have the money for it right now, but some day!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend. I am going to spend some time online and hopefully speaking to a couple of friends who I have been neglecting, not on purpose, but with making life priority. Talk to you soon!

Til later!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Another year older...wiser...nah!

How did I spend my birthday? The same way I spent the next 2 days after that. Stuck at home with sick kids. Allen and Arielle both were sick so I stayed home from work and took care of them. I worked a total of 7 hours that whole week so this week, I have made up for it by working yesterday and today at schools. Yesterday I was lucky to work in the morning and when I was working that shift, they called me to work in another school for the afternoon so that was a extra good thing. Today I worked at a school of 5th and 6th graders. It was a long day with a tornado drill and spring pictures interrupting the day schedule. I was wiping sweat off my brow as I waved them good bye.

Arielle and Allen are feeling better. I can't wait until spring. I am so sick of a cold car in the morning and a cold car at night if I have to go somewhere. and sick kids too...

Not much to tell anymore. It's been a work day and I am tired. I made meatball subs for dinner and I need to catch up on my watching shows that I taped the previous days. I am going to the library more often and checking out books, audio books and movies that I have not seen in awhile. Cheap and fun...that is my life right now. I have to save as much money as possible to make it through the summer months. Oh, I found out today they are eliminating a ed. asst job at the school I was at today and they are also laying off a couple of teachers positions for the upcoming school year. Yeah, great news for my employer...NOT! Pray that it gets better. Only God can help us now because the idiots in (insert place of idiot domain) are not doing anything to help it.

There is my rant for tonight. Time for bed. Love you! (You know who you are:) )

Til later!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!


Goes to show you, no one can stop the hands of time to make a day special. I am up at 3:14am because Arielle was in bed with us and started hacking up a lung coughing so I made her get into her own bed. Gave her medicine and I can still hear her coughing but now it's becoming less frequent so it's either the medicine is kicking in or she is falling asleep. Either one is a nice sound right now. UGH!


I went to my email to see if I got any birthday wishes from my facebook account. I have the account set up so if any one posts onto my "wall", I get an email from it. I had one. This goofy, lovely former boyfriend of mine, who is now famous in Hollywood, sent me a dear message. I love him. He is so funny and makes my day when he responds to something I have written him. He and I had a fling when I was a senior in high school. He is three years older than me but has never married and at times, I wish I had never let him go. We had some great times together. He is a dear friend who I would love to live closer to...

Well, let's see, it's my birthday. I am 38 years old. For the past 6 months, I have felt like I was 38 years old. No difference, I did not like 37 for some reason. Odd number...maybe..? My goals for 38 are to not use my credit cards at all, not lose my son to my EX the way I did Jessi when she turned 14, and to get a full time position at the school district, and if not there, some place else so I can broaden my wings and fly. I also want to get back down to 140 pounds since the first stint of WW didn't get me there.

Thanks to all who have wished me a happy birthday and will wish me. I am a happy person. I like my life, don't love it right now but with the economy with it is right now, who can love life really?!?! I will love life when I am debt free, the wayward child is back in my life, and the hectics of life are just there, and not trying to bring me down at every turn. I hope I work today, I hope the kids are better today from their illnesses and I hope to have an awesome birthday cake to eat. Black Forest Cake. Made the cake last night, will assemble it today, and hopefully the first bite will be so delicious (I am sure) that I am happy to share with anyone who is around.

Till later!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A quick update while here....

Today (last night) Arielle was sick and threw up twice, once at 11pm and then again at 2am. I called in sick this morning at 6am. Arielle woke up at 7:20 all ready for school. Her favorite teacher was teaching and she was not going to miss that. I let her go. She said that her tummy felt better and she did not feel sick so I went against my better judgement and let her. Today I did bills and tallied up the money that we still have to go on for the remainder of the month. Not a pretty picture. I have $35 from income tax and my birthday money going into the checking account so it can cover a few loose checks I wrote to the school for stuff that they have yet to cash. It annoys me that they can hold a check for so freaking long while it screws with my budget. Anyway, that crisis is now averted.

I pick up Allen from band rehearsal and he comes stumbling into my car and says "drive home fast. I don't feel very good." OK.......
At home he throws up like Arielle did this morning and he is now curled up in bed sleeping. Neither one of them have a fever so it can't be ruled the flu by normal standards. Maybe a stomach bug. Arielle is fine now so maybe he can just throw up a couple times and be fine. I wish that scenario ....because........my......

BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!!!

I can't have sick kids on my birthday! It's just cruel! TO ME!!!!

Sickness ruined our vacation in June and at least once day over christmas break is always bad because of someone throwing up or something like that.....PITY PARTY FOR ME!

My birthday is the one day the entire year I splurge and do for myself. Every other day, 364 of them every single solitary year (365 for leap year) is for everyone else. This is my day. I am making a Black Forest Cake for myself. And if I have to eat it all by myself because everyone else is sick,then I will!

I went to the library today and borrowed a few DVD's that I like so that is a free gift to me. No money spent and all is good there.

Til later!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Early Morning!

Woke up at 3:43am and couldn't get back to sleep.

Checked facebook, left messages, and read a few blogs.

Last night I made batter for valentines crepes for this morning. The kids are with their father this weekend so I will not have time to be with them. I bought a card for each and am making their favorite breakfast. I hope they enjoy it.

Hubby and I were discussing who was at fault for the economy and the mess of the government. He said it was the democrats and I disagreed. It's everyone's fault that we are in this mess. Republicans, democrats, and the whole world as a whole! We overspent, used credit to indulge and now we are paying for that in the present economy. Clear and simple! Being in a recession is our own fault. We have to take respnsibility and deal with it and learn from past mistakes. This country has been in crisis before and we'll dig ourselves out, eventually. But don't come to me and say one typical group is at fault for everything. It isn't true! I really and truly scare myself when I start to sound like my father.....*WHOA*

*stepping off soapbox*

I am in love with my library. I just found out last week that they rent movies out. I love this! It's an awesome service to those of you have missed older movies and wanted to see them...Truly a gift. There are also CDs available. I haven't gotten the list of those available but I will check into that later on next week.

Off to check on more things. It's almost 6am and I will have to get up and make those crepes pretty soon. I may get a phone call too to work so I have to get these things done in a timely fashion.

Til later!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Monday morning-

The week will go as this~

Monday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Tuesday-hope to work, dont know, work on DVD
Wednesday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Thursday-kids off school, Lisa coming over at 10:30am.
Friday-hope to work, kids at dads.for weekend... get paid, pay bills.
Weekend-hope for nice weather. Hope another set of DVDs come into the library.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Money Crunch Time

There is EX trouble in the air but I am trying to focus on the things I can help to change. He is forever in hate/revenge mode and I can't change that, so...onto....


Goals for February!

Did already~
phone card for Allen
valentines for Arielle


Still have to buy~
printer cartridges
white dress shirt for Allen
pay off DIS!
Arielle wants High School Musical 3


In reality, I am doing very well. I have a job, hubby has a job, and things are going well. paying off stuff I need to is fine, but I still need to stash more money for the summer when I am not working. I have to tell myself, things will be fine, it's still winter, months before summer. Lots of stuff could happen before that. I could be offered a job somewhere....making more than I did now or before.

Faith, Andi, have the faith that everything will work out and things will be fine.

Right!

Have a great Weekend! Nice weather in St. Louis today. Have to be near it today! YAY!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Give Blood, I just did!

Enter Manic Mommy's virtual blood drive for the chance to win a trip to Sandestin, Florida or other great prizes! I just did.




See how happy I am to have a needle draining blood from my body so another human being can use it at a local hospital? During the winter months, there are many calls for blood due to the low blood supply in hospitals. Won't you make a selfless effort to do this for someone else????? I tried four times in the past month to donate. I had two separate bouts of low iron (anemia) and one broken blood bus but I managed to just quickly find another bus in this area today so I said "ok, let's try this again." I learned how to eat better, increase my iron intake and made me learn a bit of patience. It's in God's time, not mine. I was almost in tears when he said that I was able to donate. Patience, and then try again.


Won't you help out?? Just email the picture of you donating blood to Stephanie before the end of February and you'll be entered in the contest to win prizes. The workers will gladly take the picture and it'll make a great memory. It'll be worth it even if you don't win a prize. Your blood will help a person in need, who may die without it.

Thank you!

Monday, February 2, 2009

The morning did not start out well...

I was up from 1am til hubby left for work at 4:30am and then work never called so when I did fall asleep, I slept until 7:42am. School starts at 8am. We hustled and bustled and got the kids to school on time. Good thing that I didn't have to go to work because I just was not ready.

Sleeping is not my forte lately. I think I have too many things on my mind to have an uninterrupted sleep. I dream the most stupid, irrational stuff and then it affects my sleep, and my daily these around the house.

I have an irrational fear of using my credit card now. I know that I can use only cash and make it through the month. I know that I have, in the past, used the cards to soothe my own needs and wants. I wanted to make 2009 different and I am glad this month is my birthday so I can not feel guilty about buying something for my birthday.

I am paying off a huge chunk of credit with the income tax refund. It's only $400 but it'll knock out a card in whole. That will be a world of difference in my month. Can I use that as a birthday present to myself? An envelope of cut up cards, yay! I can do that! OK, now I feel better!

Til later!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Happy February!

Three Things...

The entire month of January I did not use my credit card! YAY!!!
I used cash on everything and had money left over after the month.
My FICO scores are above 710, if I need them for some kind of credit!

It's only gonna get better with this trend.


Have a great week! Have fun in Florida!~

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A second snow day!

It's a winter wonderland out there!



Hubby took the initiative and swept the front walk.



Pretty outside scenery!



My neighbors house and yard.



Look at the car! It's covered. I hope that hubby is nice and unburies it before I need it tomorrow for work.



Outside of my kitchen window.


We have about 6 inches and the kids are home today, as well as yesterday. It is melting off fast but the weather will freeze it again tonight. I hope that tomorrow it will fade some more. I hate cold weather. I am so wanting spring to get here!

Til later!

Monday, January 26, 2009

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....

Oh my gosh, I thought I had drama in my life but to hear the drama of some people's lives is just too far beyond even what I can imagine.

I worked today but there is a huge storm coming in so we do not know if there will be school tomorrow. I am scheduled to work in the afternoon so it'll be fine if there is school. I like having the extra money. It is extra money now since every penny I earn from today through Friday is beyond my budget and it will all go to extras I have been holding off on, like the printer cartridges that I need for the computer and the minutes for Allen's cell phone. The rest of it will pay off one more card in full and whatever is left over there will go into the escrow account.

I was really happy today doing the job at my son's school. I love it there and I really like the teachers. It would be such a dream come true if I worked there full time. I am going to sub until someone offers me a position. The hours are just great and the work is ok, and the headaches are few. This is what I want to do. I just need a wishing star or a fairy Godmother to grant me my wish. Or a great deal of patience....

We'll see what happens.

Til later!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I want my laptop back!

I am a very selfish person when it comes to computers in my house. I love it and consider them both mine. Yea, I'm weird that way. My laptop has been out of my house getting fixed for the past 2 weeks. I have to share the remaining computer with the family. I hate it! They naturally want on too but not when it's convenient for me. I can log on to my sites, have them on 4 different tabs, click back and forth all day long. That is my comfort zone, always being in touch with family, or friends at a ding of the ICQ or a blip from the facebook chatbox. I can be at the opposite side of the room and be comfortable that way. NO, now with only one computer at home, I have to share. I dont like sharing. And we all have seperate log in names so it takes a hard log off to log back in under a different name. Mine is totally inaccesible unless I kick them off first and log back on to mine, and that takes a good 9 minutes with a slow start up. I am out of touch, out of reach, and it bugs the heck out of me. I want my own ANDI laptop, that no one touches except for me. I can't afford an ANDI laptop because I was stupid and ran up credit cards and now I am in the mindset of "pay those off first before anything frivolous". Great, I created my own mess! And now I am paying for it. Life lesson learned and at what a price! ARGH!!!! I am praying that my laptop comes home fast before I lose my mind!

Arielle just woke up, tummy is fine, no more sickness, YEAH!! and I want to show her pictures I just found on a flash drive of last years birthdays and vacation.

Have a Happy Saturday!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Whoa! Didn't mean to stay away that long...

You know what they say about time moving faster the older you get. Since I got facebook, I post on there more and let that be my forum. I know a lot of stuff happened but for the life of me, I have no clue what. I cleaned drawers, bathroom closets, threw away a TON of trash, junk, and papers that were shredded.

I still have to do Arielle's room, the neverending cabinet of plastic tupperware and odd essentials that has to be sorted through. I have to clean out the fridge.

I worked Wednesday and yesterday and loved it and that was a good thing because last night Arielle woke me up screaming that her tummy hurt. She threw up at 5am and I called the schools and told them that neither one of us were going out today. So, I am catching up on bills, playing a bit with the girl and settling in for the weekend.

I went to Walmart yesterday and Aldis to get some essentials. I spent $15 at Walmart (a miracle by my usual standards) and only $23 at Aldis. Not bad for the last half of the month.

Anyway, OOpss...Arielle is mad at her DS video game again. She hates it, darn that game.. Stupid.. (I laugh...) Oh my baby is crying because her game made her lose...

My poor baby....Til later...!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Answer to the comments from previous...

I made this comment a huge long one so I figured I'd make a post out of it.

My brain had this rolling around in it....

I took the money out of the stash I have to pay my car registration. Had $78 in cash so I took the $20 and went to Aldis: (compare this to prices in your area)

2 gallons milk 2.79 each
3 white bread .79 each
rice cereal 2.19
chewable vitamins 2.99
12 large eggs 1.28
2 blocks cheese 1.99 each
bananas 1.37
Tax 1.25% .25

GRAND TOTAL 20.01


I'll write a check when I do the car at the end of the month. I have learned through hard times, to always have a buffer in checking account ($100.00). I absolutely hate getting into it because my luck, I'd forget something and it'd come up that month. Buffers are great, just as a coin jar is. My coins go to laundry which I also have to do today. That's only $2.50 and already stashed away.

My children do not get allowance. They want something to buy, I usually got it for them. It was the cheaper way for me. Sometimes they asked alot, other times they didn't. It all evened out. Naturally the boy is more expensive with all his electronic games but that is coming to a halt this year and every other year where I still have a debt to pay. There is no credit card so there is no money. That was not my thinking last year and the balances always stayed the same or went up. Not this year. I am going to see a big improvement in our debt status this year. If it kills me.

February should be a very good month in terms of money, three paychecks, my birthday, and income taxes are all coming. The income taxes won't be much, maybe a extra $100 or so, (Used to be $2,000) but it's more than we have now so I just have to be patient and wait 13 more days to get over this bad money spot.

I have not been in Walmart since January 3, and then I only bought cat food. I bought most of the weekly groceries at Aldis. I have $41 left on a walmart gift card but I know if I go in there, I'll walk in spending it on stuff I do not need. I'd not go over the gift card limit, but I'd buy stuff that is not essential to my life now. I can't risk that and my control in that store is in the "Eh, who cares? I'll pay for it next month" category. There is a sensor in that doorway that zaps my brain into the "I don't care" mode. It's crazy!

The kids are at their dads until Tuesday night. The holiday plus Tuesday, the teachers have an institute day. That is also Inaugeration Day and I am going to spend it avoiding all news covering the event. I am going to put on several pre taped shows and videos and watch the day away. I'll be glad when it's over! Then he can save this country and make it a better place to live. I would not want his job for all the money (lol) in the free world.

I am giving blood today, or should I say will try to give blood today. Last time i did this, I was anemic and they would not do it, so the past week I have been eating healthy, taking vitamins and making it so it'll work this time. If it happens, I'll post a picture.

I have to get some work done here but I wanted to post about the money situation and update. Have a great day!

Friday, January 16, 2009

I hate being a good girl!

I have banned myself from using any credit card and I am doing well but today is payday and I need groceries but I know that I need the money for bills and I can't use a credit card. I would see it as a total defeat of all my hard work. We only need milk, eggs, and milk, but we need it for 2 weeks and I also have to gas up my car before the next paycheck. It sucks! I hate being in debt! I hate being a slave to bills and I also hate that I feel like a total failure if I need a credit card to make it through a fricking weekend!

Don't know what I am going to do. Hoping I get inspired before hubby gets home.

YUCK! I hate bills! Guess I am going to squeeze out a $20 from somewhere...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My Mess!



This is my ongoing project....for about 2 years.

It consists of papers that have been thrown together and saved for another day when I was less busy than the day it was accumulated. Thus....the mess!

Boxes are labeled, and being sorted. Finally, the kids will have their won box to throw their own school work, achievements, papers, etc...into so it is not turning into clutter. Mine is too. I found that I have a ton of school supplies that I could have saved money from September. I always buy more than I need to there is a surplus for the remaining year. It will all be contained into one box for storage when we need something. My picture box is enormous and it's being added on. Found pictures from years past, "hey, that's where you have been hiding." That is my life right now, when I can squeeze that in between work, family, and life in general. I am normal because I am sure your house has a problem like this too. I am just letting people know on a blog. Hee Hee.

Have to go to work now. See you all later!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

WORK....



Andi is happy!


Work is good. I worked at two different schools for 4 days and it felt really good. I called the district and got scheduled for Wednesday and Friday.

I have a feeling that if I do this long enough, I'll get noticed for the good job I do there and be hired on as a full time educational assistant. I am paying down debt and every month that I don't use credit, there is a less of a debt to deal with and more that I can snowball to the balance of said debt.

I know in this economy my subbing job is a blessing. There are people that get layed off that have absolutely no income to pay their bills. I feel so fortunate that I have this opportunity and am grateful that I have the skills that they need to help.

I have to get back to cleaning. Til later!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A hundred posts later....

Happy 101st blog post. I do like to write and express my opinions, don't I?

I have been going through pictures and I wanted to post a few that have gotten some notice on my facebook account.





These pictures are from 1990. I was married to my children's father and I was 6 weeks pregnant with Jessica, who is now 17 years old.


Another view of my face. I absolutely love my hair in these pictures. My hair does not behave that way anymore so I have had bad hair days for the past 17 years.

I have a few more I have to scan in where I am with the kids and I look exceptionally good and motherly so I will probably put those up later.

Now it is get ready for church time so I better scoot. Have a great day!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Saturday Plans...

Well, my laptop is at the "shop". It's really at a friends house hoping to either get fixed or have the data transferred to my external hard drive so it's not lost.

I worked three days this week and the classrooms I was in, were not bad at all. I like that kind of a week. It can be really good or really bad, to which I would not be willing to teach that class again. I'd do these again. I am happy subbing for now. I really am ready to work in the school district though. I want to work there full time because even though it's less money, I can fit it into my schedule with the kids and the money would be enough for us to pay down bills and bring in some extra cash so we could enjoy the summers too.

You know how you can look at your past and see the whopper mistakes you made? Well, I am seeing some of those and saying, "What was I thinking?" Time to be smart and not make those mistakes again.

Today is the usual, laundry and making sure we have stuff for this next week. Should be pretty standard weekend. Not going to spend too much money. Have to get gas in my car but that money is in the glove compartment so it's not eating into my budget. It is wonderful when a 20 dollar bill can fill up the gas tank for almost two weeks.

See you later....

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Once again, I have computer problems....

My laptop crashed and that is my save all for my desktop. I have been organizing all my stuff to combine it all onto my external hard drive backup. Luckily, it is not clicking and it's not a blue screen of death. It just won't read the hard drive to start. It keeps popping circuits and jumping to the DVD drive to load. I just hate being without my laptop. It's the third new hard drive in it so it's time for a new computer but I do not have the money for it right now. I am at a point now where I am scared to death of using my credit cards and that is a good thing for me. It used to be way too easy and that is why I am in the mess I am in right now.

I have a friend who's business is compouters and he is getting the computer tomorrow night. Hopefully if he can't fix it, he can at least save the data off the drive.

I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS! I feel so helpless!

And I know this is a minor problem compared to death, medical, financial ruin, house being charcoaled, and job loss (been there), but right now, this is my crisis. I am grateful for that. I think!

Have a nice night. Gotta back up the desktop before I lose it too.

Update for Wednesday

I am working today. I am so happy becuase if I do not work, my bills cannot get paid and I realy do not like the idea of that. And it is at a school where I like it, so it's a double plus.

Last night was a bust in the blood drive endeavor. My blood came back iron low so I could not donate but I still implore those of you who can , to do it and turn a picture into Manic Mommy's site so you can be up for a trip to Florida and other prizes. I will try again to donate on the 17th, the next time there is a blood bus in myh area that I am willing to travel too. I am not driving to Springfield to donate. That bus will have to come here.

Time to go to work, so see you later...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I am giving blood today, are you able to?

My friend, Stephanie, over at Manic Mommy is hosting a contest. If you give blood between Jan 1-Feb 28, and send her a picture as proof, she will put your name in a drawing for a trip to Florida and a slew of other prizes. Click on her link and see what more there is to offer. I'll post my picture donating blood here after I get back tonight. Any questions you have can be answered by clicking on her link above. Thank you!

Save lives, donate blood.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Just an observation...


I love Haribo Gummi bears. I am from Germany and I grew up with them in Germany when we lived there and loved them in the States when we have them here. When I went to NYC in October, my dear friend surprised me with a couple bags of the original, German package of Gummi Bears. I am finding out that not all is the same in the Haribo German and it's relative American version.





Number 1 difference-they taste different. The American version all taste the same. The German ones each have their own distinct flavor, strawberry, apple, lemon, orange, pineapple, and raspberry.


The biggest and most annoying difference is the packaging and the amount in each package. Both have the same size bag. They each should hold the same ration of gummi bears. The German bag is noticeably fuller and on the bag it is labeled as 300g. You know what the American bag has in it? 5 oz. a piddly, measly, pitiful amount of 142g.

What am I going to do about it? What can we, as consumers do about this miscarriage of justice?????? Are we going to let this company reduce the amount of gummi bears in an average size package???? To suit their own selfish wants for a decent profit margin???? Hearing those children crying out to their mommies, "I want more gummi bears!" "Sorry, honey, they only had 60 in the bag." "WAAHHHHHHHH!" The question remains, what can you buy with .02 these days? 1 GUMMI BEAR!

I am blogging about this unfair practice, maybe this will get some word out. It's sad that the world is so today that the consumers that love an age old product has to be ripped off in their love to acquire the great taste of an original gummi bear!

*This blog post was written, and posted by Andi Bennett, lover of the Original Gummi Bear. Spamming, criticism, and offering of other sweets and candies to calm her down is strictly prohibited* Thank you...

Saying I Want to Live By...

At some point in our lives,
we will have struggles and
we will face adversity.
That's what being
a human is all about.
The key is not focusing on
what you're going through,
but how you are going to get through it.
Make a decision and act on that decision.
(taken from Oprah Show)

2008 was not bad, it was actually pretty good. I graduated from college. How many people can say that? I am working towards working in my field. I can't count on 2 hands how many people I know that have a degree in one subject and yet, have a job in a totally different field. It's crazy...

This year I am going to concentrate my hardest to do what I need to make me and my family have a good year, and what happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a plan, even if we don't see the plan until long after the hardship is over.

Have a great week!