Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Time for a new blog

I just reread this blog from the first post and I have to say...I'm quitting and starting fresh. Probably over the Christmas holiday, I'll start one up. If you are on my twitter or Facebook page, I'll post the link there. If you do not have me there as a follower or friend, look me up...

The new blog will focus on the current, kids, Susan, our new life together, and a few other surprises...

Who knows what the future holds. I am an open book and have no secrets...That is truly the way to live, ya know...XOXO

House refinance

Why is it that whenever I get an idea in my head about making my life easier, it's the hardest of stressful situations to get it there? I have been in refinance hell for the past 76 days. Hopefully, in a few days, I will have a much smaller house payment and have a lower amount to pay each year but as of now....I am going stir crazy with all the red tape and crap that goes with making it a smooth transition between two lenders. UGH!

After the refi, there will be breathing space to finally pay off some stuff and get into a nice pattern for paying off bills. In 10 years we hope to be debt free, totally, consumer debt and house debt. We just made some major renovations (new roof and new pipes and plumbing in the house and out to the street) which brings up the house value and the lower mortgage payments will make paying it off a bright spot in the near future.

I have also taken steps to get some money that someone owes me and that will help in the monthly budget to rid the debt even faster!

I love my life and looking forward to getting on with 2011. This next year will be awesome! All of our big stresses were in 2010 so 2011 should be smooth sailing.

Hoping yours is too.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

An update on the wayward children I call my offspring..

They both live with their father and hate me. Their father and step mother both hate me too. Ongoing theme here, huh?? Hmmm....not much of an update, huh?? However, I am more than happy to report that my youngest offspring, my adorable 8 year old, lives happy and healthy in our home with me and Susan and couldn't be happier. One possible reason for her to be happier than she is now is if Taylor Lautner (her current movie crush) walked through our front door and asked her to be his best friend forever!

Jessi, 19, and Allen, 15, along with their father,(my first ex) and his wife, give off so much hate to me and Susan, and the way we live, I have given them their space after the latest verbal sandblasting in July. My son only contacts me if I have something he wants (like his birth certificate so he can get his driving permit) and then it's back to "I hate mom, I hate mom". He says he has everything he wants at his dad's house and he's happy and that's ok with me. I still have visitation rights and he knows what weekend is mine so if he ever comes over to visit and is nice, I'll honestly fall on the floor from the shock.

His step mother texted me back in October when they found out Susan and I got married in Iowa and told me that both Allen and Arielle were upset about not being part of it or knowing about it. They were going to be put in counseling to help them with the adjustment. HA!! Counseling is what every child in that household needs. To make it clear, Arielle was involved in the planning of the wedding in Iowa. She helped with the rings and the flowers. She knew more about it than I did and she is perfectly happy with mommy and Susan being together. She is happy because mommy is happier than she has ever been and that's what every child should want for their parent. If Allen were to have any contact with me of his own accord, he also would have been a part of the wedding planning. His choice not to be involved in our family here.

Any human being who wants to see their parent dead, or harmed in any way, like my oldest 2 children wish upon me daily, definitely needs some counseling. Does the name Menendez come to mind?? Might want to google that family history...It is not pretty and I am not going down that road!

HAPPY DAY!! Love conquers all hate and bad thoughts. So glad I have such a wonderful support system in place to make all the bad go away...bye bye....

Merry Christmas???

I found some time in my busy schedule to finally update this blog. I also got a note from a friend of mine in Israel and said that she liked what she read so I feel an update is warranted.

I am currently listening to pod casts on my phone. I downloaded a mess of them, ranging from money to comedy and mom related issues. They are free and the only drag is that I have to charge up my phone more frequently. There is a wealth of information and things that you learn can really help you in your life.

Since it has been quite awhile, I'll update you on what's been happening in my life. When last I left this blog, it was May and summer was just beginning. Well, summer went by in a flash, as it was filled with lots of trips, family gatherings, and lots of visits to water parks. We traveled to Indiana, Missouri, through Kansas to Colorado, a flight for me to Los Angeles and a quick trip in October to Iowa. We spent many many hours in the car and it was an adjustment sometimes but on the whole, it went very well. Our trip to Colorado was 17 hours one way with a puppy dog. We had difficulties finding an appropriate doggy sitter so we ended up taking her with us. She was good and spent half the time on our laps and sleeping in the back with Arielle. We spent a week with my mom and visited with my brother and friends from my high school days. This was the first visit to see family since Susan and I had gotten together so for me, it was stressful. It was a fabulous visit, complete with my friends and mom and brother fully embracing Susan as one of the family. Susan also found out that some of my bad habits, do in fact come from my family. My mother has some of my annoying habits too. I blame heredity. :) Three different water parks were visited in three different states and we got quite a bit of sun..and had a ton of fun in the sun and surf.

I know some of you are wondering about my personal life, and I am more than happy to tell you, it is going perfectly and better than I deserve. Our families summer together was full and more fun and enlightening than any other other time in my life. As you remember from April, Susan and I got engaged to be married. The summer was spent planning that wedding and making sure that our lives together would make a smooth transition for our blended family. We went through both houses and did major cleaning up and decluttering. We moved furniture, replaced broken items, and reorganized bedrooms and by September, we had a moving van come in with a friend of ours and by Sunday evening, we were unpacking boxes and setting furniture up in all the rooms. It looks like a totally different house but it also feels more like home than it ever has before. Susan and I were both born in Germany to GI dads so our front room has artifacts from our respective German childhood homes. Brings a whole new sense of family to the home. Family pictures adorn the walls and have extended family represented. Susan is truly an asset to my disorganization and lack of creativity in decorating. She is great for Arielle too, and takes up the slack when I am not available. She is truly the best thing that has happened to both of us.

In October, we took a weekend and drove up to Iowa to visit some friends and to...get married! Iowa is one of 5 states that legally performs same sex wedding ceremonies so on October 8th, in a judges chamber in front of 2 of our friends, Susan and I got married. We had dinner at a lovely restaurant and visited a Taste of Des Moines Street Fair.

November was very busy, complete with our commitment ceremony for our family and friends. My mom from Colorado and sisters family from Indiana came in as well as friends from Las Vegas and Kansas City. We had a blast and now, are so glad we did it. But we are also glad that we only do this once, because it was a lot of stress in the planning and getting the weather to cooperate. We had 50 degree weather and a beautiful Sunday afternoon in a gorgeous park in Missouri. The pictures are gorgeous!

It is now December and we are racing to Christmas. The tree is up, presents are bought and mostly wrapped, and only 5 more school days til we have winter break for 2 weeks. YAY!! Life has been so hectic and bustling, but I know for a fact, that this year was the best I have ever had in my entire life. I finally found true happiness and know what is important to me and my family. love conquers all hate surrounding us. Tell the truth at all times and show love to all, you will be rewarded for it.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Summer is here...

Let the good times roll....Planning trips to see relatives and going to have a great time. Now we are packing and planning and trying to eat healthier and trying to lose a bit of weight before the summer is over. We are also trying to be a bit healthier in the finances department. We'll see how the summer goes. I have a chance at a part time job to compensate for the loss of earnings during the summer. Its a bit of a drive but hopefully it'll turn into a job that I will like to do and then it won't be so bad. It's day one of summer and I am going stir crazy with just being home. There is a list of chores that have to get done and I know that they are just waiting for me to cross them off the list. I am better at closing the door on the chore and hiding in another part of the house. Have to change that.....some day..

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Oh goodness. I keep looking...

I have been a tad busy and basically not in the mood to blog anything. I logged on today and to my surprise, I had 33 moderated comments to go through...LOL!

I don't want to advertise my blog, it's just a venting tool for me. It is not my sort of thing..I work in a classroom setting or a secretarial setting.

Things are going well and I love that spring is here and summer is coming..but there are bad things about it too. The school district killed 27 jobs and the teachers were bumped to different classrooms or eliminated. My daughters teacher is being moved to another school and she is heartbroken that she won't be able to see her everyday. Plus there is the part of the 6 week visitation with her father during the summer. He makes it impossible for me to talk to her while she is over there and she is very anxious about that this summer. We are going on a couple of trips before she goes to her dads so it should be a great adventure and memory making for when she is away from us.

Lets talk trips. I have been to over 20 different states and would love to travel more....I have also been oversees and visited many European countries.

Susan and I are planning trips to Las Vegas, Washington DC, San Francisco, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, and many more. I have already seen some of them but others will be a brand new adventure. I love traveling and it will be a highlight to our summers and vacations.

Time to get some household chores done. Thanks to all who read but don't ask me to advertise or your comment will just be deleted... :)

Til then...

Monday, April 12, 2010

A month later...

I am pleased and happy to announce that there is a wedding in my future. My girl, asked me to marry her Friday night. I graciously accepted and then I went and asked her hte same thing. She accepted also and we exchanged rings. The wedding is planned in the future but we don't exactly know when because while scouting for reception venues, we got the feeling that the date we had picked out, just wasn't soon enough. We'll see how that goes, but I am sure that when it happens, I'll let the important people in my life know...

I have no description of how I feel about her. I have been married twice before to men and I have never felt the love, trust, security, and utter devotion from any person, even my own parents or born into family than I do from her. I look at her and swoon. She makes my life full and exciting. She pushes me to do things out of the box so that I grow in experiences and grow in a love for life, and all the beautiful things life has to offer. I have gone to museums, eaten exotic food, traveled to places that I never even thought of going to before I met her. She is so good for me and my family. I am truly blessed!

And that is my update for today. Going to work out in the garden today, since the weather is going to be GORGEOUS!!

Til later!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Quite possibly deleting blog

This is a vein that I like to vent through but now it's being surrounded by autobots wanting me to make money off of it. NO THANKS!

March has brought me happiness and family time that I have loved. I never felt this way before with my family(s) before. I feel the love in everything we do, even going to the corner lanudromat doing laundry with my daughter and Susan.The love radiates throughout our home. My only question is, "Why didn't it happen so much earlier in my life?"

I don't think I have regrets because I have learned lessons throughout those experiences. I am grateful for the happiness I have now because I see so many people in society and in my friends circle that don't have it and have so many more headaches and problems than I do.

I pray that those friends and their families can find the peace and the help they need to find it too.

Til later!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

We are all getting older...

My birthday is tomorrow and I am heading towards life with a new focus. My life has changed so much for the better in the past 6 months that I aim to keep it that way. Work is going well, my life is happy with lots of lovely friends and family to support me. I am very lucky to have it all. I want to keep this good attitude for as long as it lasts.

There are low points but I can usually count to 10 and make them seem not so bad. They usually are a learning curve that I have to adjust for so when it happens again, I can go with the flow and see the good point of it all.

Too bad people can't be that way on a normal every day pace. I will try and make it part of my morning ritual to look in the mirror (after my shower)and tell myself, "This day will be good and I will be happy just having it."

Til later!

Monday, February 8, 2010

So Excited About Valentines Day!!


Hope yours is as big and wonderful as I am expecting mine to be. XOXO

Monday, February 1, 2010


YAY! I am so happy! January is so hard on me and I am so glad it's over. February entails warmer weather (hopefully), Valentines Day, my birthday, and closer to March, April, and May which are my most favorite times of the year. Spring is my most favorite season because it offers the beginning of life in all shapes and sizes, flowers, trees, babies, etc...It's such a happy time!!!

Hope you enjoy your first day of February as much as I will.

Til later!

Saturday, January 30, 2010


I am sitting here in my purple bathrobe surfing the web. Come upon a blog page that looks vaguely, this person has not updated in a few weeks...slow person...should do better...who was it?? ME!!!

Ok, I am sorry for the lack of updates. It's been kind of mind boggling the past few weeks with Allen wanting to move out, and then giving me the cold shoulder and making the decision to actually move out and live with his father. His father and I are making it official with a modified support order and modifying visitation and vacation times, etc...

Allen is already taking great offense to me being anywhere near him so I have the feeling he is going to go the way of his older sister and cut all ties with me. I hope he comes to the realization that he is wrong in his feelings and actions towards me. Time will tell.

Work is going well. I still wished I could get a full time job in the school district but I have patience and hope that I will eventually work there in a full time capacity with benefits and inservice meetings to go to and such...I work about 20 hours a week so that is good and I am holding my own with bills. I guess it's not a secret anymore to say that Susan and I are going to eventually live together, plans are for May-June when school lets out and the kids are home to help with the rearranging of the house. She is moving into my place and her commute will be slightly longer, but financially, it works out better this way. When she saw my house, I was kind of down about it but she propped me up with words of encouragement towards making this house a "home" for us. There will be painting, remodeling, and redecorating ideas flying around my house in the next year. It should be fun....She has some great ideas and she can make them come true, as to where, if I have an idea, it usually dies in the planning stage because I see the job as too monumental for me to do by myself. She truly is my strength...If anyone wants to help in the tear down, suggestions for credible and reliable construction people, remodel, and or clean up, just call me or leave me a comment...

That's all I can think of for now. Gotta do bills..and make sure February is as frugal as can be. One thing that I have seen in my grocery bill this month with Allen gone...only have one milk gallon in fridge instead of 3-4, and the house is quieter after 9pm, even on the weekends, where as before, he would still be on his xbox talking to his long distance buddies until who knows when.

Have a great weekend and Hello February....YAY!! My birthday is in 20 days!!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Well, real life sets in at day 4 of the new year!

Not so happy but dealing with real life issues that will affect my life for a long time.

My son, who has known for 3 months that I was gay has flown the coop. I knew he would, just like his sister, and I am very surprised it lasted 3 months. He just can't handle it. He has made his decision based on his religious beliefs and he is entitled to his opinion. He made his decision and I am not stopping him from exercising the choice to leave this house. I don't want him to hurt and that is all he does here,he is hurt, and grumbles, and complains when I ask him to do anything for me. After the ex left, I needed help and as a 14 yr old. he should help around the house and do something other than sit his butt on the computer or his XBOX 360 when he is at home. He has chores to do but he does not do them.

We had a huge discussion about his feelings and he spewed out nasty things about my new lifestyle and my girlfriend. I asked him if I changed who I was, if I were straight and if Susan did not exist in our lives, would he come back? His answer was no.

If being gay was something I could change, I would have 25 years ago. I have been trying to hide and suppress feelings for all those years. They do not go away! And now I am dealing with them in the most positive way I know how. By living openly and honestly. I am happy with my decision for the most part, except it hurting members of my family. I can't help that. I have to be who I am.

Susan, my life partner, if she'll have me (already know the answer,:)), is an honest, caring person who has made her life and accomplishments anybody would be proud of. She is a wonderful cook, loves to play board games, computer games, video games, knows all kinds of sports, loves to travel, watch movies or visit with long time friends in different cities. She is a beautiful person and I am so lucky to have her in my life. She sees in me the kind of person I have always wanted to be and was too afraid to show. I am open and honest with her, with no secrets. There were always secrets to my life, things I had to hide or conceal in any kind of relationship. I don't have to hide anymore. That is so comforting and scary at the same time. I know as time passes and we get to know each other better and live as one family, all those insecurities will go away because she is the kind of person who wants only the best for you. My best is her...

Have a great day!!!

Friday, January 1, 2010


Spent a wonderful evening with love, family and board games. Had fun, went to bed around 2:30am and just woke up to watch the Rose Bowl Parade under blankets on the couch. New Years Day at it's finest. Who could complain about that??