YAY! Now I can move on...really.....!

Get on with life and put that part of me to the side, where it belongs.

I am still me, the me who people love and understand is a bit goofy, but lovable. A friend who would rather give til her heart bleeds than let you be disappointed in her. A friend who would put everything on hold to make you happy. That's me...

Well today I am finishing up a present for a very special person. I have found a project that I enjoy doing, that puts that personal touch in, where a group of people connect and can relive past events. It puts a smile on their face, and I grin at the love it represents...and shows.

Christmas is tomorrow and the kids are coming back from their father's for a few days and then are off to Iowa to see grandparents. It's a short time to see them (5 days)and I miss them dearly but I have really loved being here with Susan so we can bond and act all newlywed like. It's been so nice and we will be spending time with the kids during the next few days.

January is gonna be a trial on so many levels. New year, new life, looking for a decent job to help pay bills, seeing what bills I can lower or eliminate completely until the dust settles from the change. How is my new tax situation gonna help with bills for February? Hmm..maybe all the worry will help me lose the 5 lbs. that I gained during all this bonding happiness. So much food and I am eating it all!

Well, I am sure you will hear from me again on the weekend, after all the presents have been opened and smiles, jeers have been received.

Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families!

Merry Christmas!

Better get this off before you guys think I have totally fallen off the cliff.

Things have been so busy around here and my brain is so wrapped up in the current chaos that is my life that half the time, I can't think at all. Does that make sense? Jeesh..I have no idea anymore.

The holidays are upon us and I am currently on vacation from work. Go back on January 4th. Spending lots of time with Susan getting Christmas done for our families......umm...oh yeah...I have not talked about Susan, have I? Hmmm..Lets go back about 25 years...

When I was 13 or 14...I thought I was gay and tried to kill myself..I had always had feelings for women, teachers, friends moms, etc. since I was 7 years old. I tried to come out to my sister and my parents and after my suicide attempt, they thought it best that I was put into a psych hospital for 2 months. Hmm.. I never mentioned my attractions to women after that. I proceeded to join the Mormon church and marry a man who used it against me after we divorced, 13 years later. Mind you, I never had a relationship with a woman, just desired one. He used that fantasy and made my life hell. Even worse after the divorce because he told my kids with a twist here and there to make me a evil person. Always desiring and never having the guts or being ashamed of those feelings not being normal or right, he loved to torment me with it.

Fast forward to 2005. Met and married second husband. My daughter left my house because of what my ex, her father had told her about my "past". I had no past, wanting or having feelings for a woman was my past. I never actually went through with it. I was plagued by my secret coming out. And her father used it against me in getting my children to hate me and want to move in with him. With her, it worked, based on fantasy....now present day. All of my kids know, even the 7 year old, and I am happy to say, she loves Susan and the boy,while not happy, he has made no mention of leaving my house for now so we'll just go day by day and see what happens.

My marriage to the second husband had been over for over a year now we just hadn't had the nerve to say anything to each other, we just did separate things, and enjoyed our separate lives together. There were so many things wrong and we slid into a state where I couldn't handle it anymore.

I had misgivings about my church for awhile for a lot of different reasons. Gay Rights have become forefront in light of Obama's election the past year and I had many visions and dreams about finally coming out. My husband was and still is a devout republican and I could not stand to listen to some of the stuff he was saying about my secret changing political views.

Long story short. I am gay and Susan is my girlfriend and I could not be happier with her in my life. She is everything I need. We came together in September because of a common fondness for the soap opera Guiding Light and their storyline of two heterosexual woman forming a friendship and then realizing that they had fallen in love with each other. It is based on their struggles with their own feelings,feelings for each other, and how they manage day to day life with their friends and family. Sadly, Guiding Light was cancelled and the storyline never was able to run it's full course..so sad. Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia played the roles superbly and are now most loved by a group of beautiful people I hang around with online.

My trip to Las Vegas was for me and 4 of my online friends to attend a fan gathering to meet 12 of the actors from Guiding Light and I had the pleasure of talking to Crystal about my own emergence into the gay world and how difficult it has been for me. I publicly declared in front of over 400 people and the Guiding Light cast how happy I was for the storyline and how much it changed my life. Most thrilling moment of my life!! It is so nice to not have this secret festering in my heart and head anymore. I have since come out on my facebook account and made a public declaration of love to Susan. All my friends and family have been loving and supportive, even if there are few out there who are struggling with my decision to come out so publicly. I am not immune to judgement but so far, it's been minimal. Love me for me, I'm just more honest now than before....no more secrets to hold back...




SO.....Merry Christmas to all. I sincerely hope that you are as happy as I am right now as we are about to enter another year with new avenues to pursue. Next year, I hope to be in a more stable place in life and love.

Til later!

Back from Vegas!

It's been a day since I have been back and I am organizing the pictures from the trip. I am trying to keep pictures of my friends stuff seperate from mine but I don't know if I can do that successfully. We had so many and frankly, my firends camera was a lot better then mine so we'll see how they look after I put them in the editor.

I will be back with pictures but it could be the weekend before I can get them up. If anyone cares....LOL!

Happy December!!

Work is good, house is looking well after ex came and got his stuff. Tree is up, and life is going well, if I just had more time to spend with the people I love. That's what I miss most. Movie nights are few and far between, haven't even seen New Moon yet and I want to see the movie with Sandra Bullock...Maybe over Christmas break. Have two weeks off...

Many Happy Days Ahead!!

My Black Friday Savings!!

We got up at 5am (oh gosh) and went to Walmart first. Bought stuff for $98.19 and saved $128.00 Yay!!!!

Next was Target. Bought stuff for $64.17 and saved $40.47.

Next was Justice for the baby princess in my house. Bought stuff for $68.95 and saved $$42.84.

Last but not least was Gordmans. Bought stuff for $69.01 and saved $85.03.

The grand total for all items bought was $300.32 and the amount saved by going this morning during Black Friday specials was $296.34. WOW!!!!!

And the best part about it is that with the exception of a few minor details, and small gifts, my Christmas shopping is all but done! And I found another great surprise today....Susan loves to wrap!!! I hate to wrap! Could I find a better person to spend my time with? No, I think not!!! I am so lucky!!!! Angel and Bubba are so lucky to have me since they, this year, deserve coal and twigs for Christmas. I am a softy! And sadly, they know it, and use it to their advantage.

And now we are going back to bed since 5am and Andi do not mix, at all!!!! Night!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi all! Happy go lucky Andi here. The turkey is in, Susan is making breakfast for me and her niece who lives with her and I am catching up on computer stuff. I am not slacking... there are pictures of me and the turkey getting quite intimate with butter, garlic, poultry seasoning and the rest....

I am happy today. The kids are with their fathers and I know they are having fun with their relatives in Iowa. Their grandmother is in poor health and not doing very well this year so its best they are with her. I am happy because I feel like everything is going to be fine. I wake up in the morning wanting it all to be perfect and that's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I have to live with that. I have a beautiful soul next to me helping me through the rough time. We are helping each other and that is what makes us happy right now. No one knows tomorrow, but I sure hope she is here by my side tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the rest of our lives. I am thankful for her!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Happy Wednesday

It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I am getting ready to drive to Susan's house this afternoon for this weekends festivities. Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with her family, or it may just be the two of us, Friday: shopping, Saturday: packing up stuff here, Sunday: getting ready for next week.

I am headed to Vegas to meet up with friends next weekend and I am super excited about it. We are all there to meet up and have some fun! We all need a break from our lives so we are doing just that. Susan can't come with because she has to work but she'll pick me up at the airport and then back to the work week til Christmas vacation. Busy busy month ahead.

I want to wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday weekend. I am truly thankful for the people I have gotten to know in the past year so I could handle the life changes I am experiencing now. THANKS!!

It just keeps on coming....

It's 6:05am and I am debating on whether or not to let them call me into work today. It should be a super easy day but I have so much on my mind that my heart and body aches with worry and stress.

My father is 65 and lives in Colorado. He shattered his L1 vertebrae on Wednesday. He did not go into the hospital til Friday night after he told my mom, to do what is best. Ambulance took him to hospital. DUH!! he's 6'1" and 110 lbs. He has acute renal failure and is getting a bit better with meds and being pump0ed with fluids to kick start his kidneys again. I asked mom if she wants me to come home for Thanksgiving, but she said no. So I am staying here and waiting on updates.

There are things in my life right now that I have no control over and it's killing me. The ex is being a jerk about money and can't get his freaking act together so I can live. If he does not get me what he owes me, I'll be forced to go on government aide and I really do not like being on the systems payroll. I live in Illinois. The government here can't pay their workers their hard earned pay, what can I expect from a broken system that we have paid into to help the people who are really in need in hard times?? It all just sucks!!

The only saving grace in my life is my BFF, Susan. She helps me whenI am down, comforts me when I am stressed and loves me for who I am and who I am desperately trying to become. We are celebrating Thanksgiving together since the kids are going to their fathers and we are going to get up Friday morning to check out the Black Friday sales. She is up at 4am and I have never done that so it will be an experience. It should be a fun Thursday and Friday.

Oh and then I have Saturday to look forward to.

Saturday the ex is picking up his furniture he still has here, including my queen size bed. He is taking the couch, recliner, bed and living room tv. UGH!! I am so glad that Susan will be there for me cause I am going to need her after he leaves with the stuff. The house will look so empty. Luckily, she is giving me some replacement furniture until I can get settled into my own stuff again.

Well, those are my plans for the week. I hope that my friends in life are happy and will make the most of this holiday season. I look forward to hearing about your life. TTYL!

Update on job

Well, I never got an interview but I now know why. I was never given the paperwork to register me with the state so I could actually be hired. So the paperwork is being processed and the next time that I have an application I want to file, I'll be prepared and actually get on the interview list.

Life is pretty good. Work is good and my personal life is coming together. The kids are handling their own with having news given to them. Life sometimes throws things at us that we have to contend with. Life is not always what we invision it. It has changes and twists and turns and we have to conform to meet those challenges head on. They are there to help us learn and to teach us how to handle society as a whole as different people with different talents and things to offer. We are all one planet and we have to get along. No hate mongering in my family. I won't stand for hateful talk in my house against anyone.

Update:::
I am in the middle of trying to find out how I am going to support my family now. Just got a rude awakening as to my current financial situation. Oh crap, and right before Christmas too. I have a court order saying that I am owed so much money by January 1st but the person who owes it to me, is being a jerk about it....UGH!! Time to step into action Plan B, C, and possibly Plan D! I will never lend a hand to help someone out of a financial situation mess they caused by their own stupid practices because now I am getting screwed for being nice and unselfish!


LESSON LEARNED!!!

Hi again...

I don't have to work today so I am catching up on things that have been put on the backburner for awhile.

I am currently waiting for a job application to be reviewed so I can get this job I really want. Prayers would be appreciated since the money situation will be getting pretty thin in a month or so, just before Christmas.

The divorce is final and actually was super fast. He and I are still talking. It's strange cause now I am receiving email forwards from him about stuff that he knew I hated to get when we were married. It's like he wanted out and just be friends....
I can't do that. I need to move on and I am doing that without him.

The kids are doing well. The ex is not talked about and not really an issue. We have other issues that we are dealing with at the moment which have long standing consequences but they will all be worked out eventually too. It involves their father so that is a neverending dilemma.

My wish for all is to have a great upcoming holiday season. It's coming fast and will be here before we know it. Winter storms, ice, snow, down right blistery cold days are all the lovely things that we are going to have to endure the next 4-5 months. I am trying to gear up for it the best I can. We'll see what happens.

Have a great day!

MY LIFE!

My life is going through great transitions right now and I appreciate prayers going to our family at this time. Anyone who needs or wants more info, contact me directly, do not go through family as they are not privy to my feelings or how we are handling this crisis!

Thank you!

The update of a Lifetime...Pictures

Jessica and I had a talk about a month ago at church and I told her that I would give her a list of stuff that she left at my house...her yearbooks, projects from school, and other things that she had left behind that I still had in my possession. She called me yesterday, her 18th birthday. She asked me where we wanted to meet to get her those things I had collected for her. We set up a time and place and planned to meet. I was nervous and excited and very scared. Was she gonna be nice...was she gonna tell me to stay out of her life forever? She had both options. I really had no idea.

Well, this was the result....





Allen was there and took the pictures. I was talking so I look goofy but my girl is standing next to me and smiling so it's definitely an improvement over a year ago when she would not even cross the street to give Arielle a hug at a parade. She says she is far away from forgiving me but she still gave me an open door to look through as we take baby steps toward coming back together as a family. I gave her two hugs and a kiss on the cheek and she didn't shove me away so that was very encouraging to me. I love her so much! I just hope in the next few months, as she continues to struggle with her college and new found adult life, she will realize that I am a shoulder she can lean on if she needs it.

I'll keep you up to date. I am so grateful for all 3 of my kids. And the weight being lifted off my shoulders by yesterday's events made for a very restful night.

Til later!

The update of a lifetime....Videos

I made these two videos as a momento to the 18 years that Jessi has lived so far as my child. She is now an adult and has to live her own life. It was easier capturing moments of her life when she was younger. These videos are a present to her family and friends who have loved her all these years.



Home movies combined into a video set to music. Enjoy!




Still pictures set to music. Enjoy!

Monday, is it August yet?

I woke up this morning and got online and remembered that I had to take my car into the repair guy. My car has not been able to go in reverse for three weeks. I took it in and walked the 3 miles back home. They said probably this afternoon. I said it better be today.....ARGH! $375 later....luckily I have it in savings to take out.

Later.....

Yay! I got my car back! I don't feel so out of control now. Went to Walmart to do a drink run and am now home to work more on my DD's video. T-minus 3 days til my baby turns 18 and it's killing me going through the home movies and sorting through the pics. Oh well...time does not stand still for anyone...not even me...lol

Til later!

What....she's back??? Eh, maybe...

Oh gosh! Life has kicked my butt and is turning around to make another sweep. Hurry, duck, or jump, or do whatever so it doesn't hurt so bad.

My update is short and sweet! June was me sitting in front of my computer 20-21 hours a day getting things worked out for making videos and spending alot of time on Facebook's farmtown. July has been emotional getting my daughters video together for her 18th birthday which is now only 4 days away. Her leaving 3 years ago was heart wrenching but that was nothing compared to this week when she an legally tell me to get out of her life completely. I know she will do it. I have no legal recourse after this week. She will be an adult and can have me arrested for just wanting to talk to her or looking at her.

The kids are on their 5th week out of 6 of being at their father's house. They come back on the 31st of July and then we get ready for our trip to Florida. Allen has football practice and won't be coming with the rest of us. We'll miss him because we want him with us, but he has told me no, he'd rather be home. OK, whatever. His choice...

I had the great fortune this past week to have dinner with a blogger friend of mine in St. Louis. We have been talking for months and finally got together on Tuesday night. She is a mommy blogger. You can check out her site here...We had lots to talk about and look forward to doing it again really soon.

OK, it's late and my tummy is not feeling well all day so I am going to bed. Church will have to wait another week. I need to stay close to a bathroom, I think. FUN!!

I will update more frequently now since our Florida trip is almost here and there will be lots of pictures to share. Hope every one has been having a great summer. Let me know how you are. *hugs*

Til later!

Tag????? Oh No, I'm It.

Here is a game....Dedicated to Financial Freedom tagged me and now it's your turn...

So here are the rules:

Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post
Share seven facts about yourself in the post
Tag seven(or how many read your blog) by leaving their names and links to their blogs
Let them know they’ve been tagged.
7 interesting things about me:

1.) I love my kids to total desperation...all of them...even the cranky ones...
2.) My brain never stops thinking about one of my kids all day long.
3.) I love my computer/PDA and have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it.
4.) I am at heart a very lazy person in my opinion, but when I am watching tv or trying to relax, I am doing three different things in my head or walking around not watching and relaxing.
5.) I am quite happy driving 4 hours to my sisters house as long as I have my music cranking in my ears on th elaptop next to me and a cracked open window.
6.) I go absolutely crazy if my bank balance falls under $100.00. I need to have that cushion there to feel secure.
7.) I love my husband and yet sometimes I really don't understand why he does some of the things he does...I guess that's because he's a guy! The ultimate mystery!

OK, this is going to be hard to tag since almost no one reads it. If you have commented, you're tagged...

I am tagging....

All Doors Considered
Organized Doodles
Because Dandelions Are Pretty
The Anderson Clan

I have a high school graduate for a daughter!

Finally some time to post. Things have been very hectic and very busy here. I worked 24 days straight subbing and this is the first time in weeks I have been able to sit down for any amount of time and get any video stuff done. Jessica graduated high school last Saturday and it was a memorable trip I wanted to share with you. Hope you like it! This is a rough edit but I had to share anyway. There will be a better version hopefully in a few weeks....and a few other videos portraying her life thus far. ENJOY! That is my summer project!

Too much stress from life, family, and work..

I haven't updated here in awhile so I have decided to take a break from blogging. i can be easily reached via email, facebook, and Twitter. All those extensions are akbennett06.
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?

There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.

Til later...much later....LOL!

Day by Day...

I wake up in the morning, I go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and think about what kind of day I am going to have. If I think that I am going to have a bad day, something usually happens to make my prediction wrong, or not as bad as I think it will be.

Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.

Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*

I have to get ready for work now.

Til later....

WOW! I really am bored!

What the heck am I going to do with all the time in the world during the summer to keep myself occupied and out of trouble when kids are gone for 6 weeks and hubby goes to work every day????? I really need to find something to do constructive or else I will go nuts.

I just came from an ice cream place, Maggie Moos, where, today, Tax Day, they were handing out free scoops of ice cream. Got me there! Free and ice cream, my two favorite words together! I wanted coconut but they did'nt have it out so I opted for the mango sorbet. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I saw they had a piint of Pina Cowlada so I got one of those too with the $5 that I had in my pocket. Cheap and Oh so good!

I did a bad thing...sort of...I went to Best Buy and bought a DVD drive for our netbooks and a video editing program and a package of CD-RW's. I really needed all of it so I could have a new hobby for the summer......LOL! There ya go. Bought it with my debit card so it's not credit or anything, which is a plus since my CC's are all cut up and gone anyhow.

I work tomorrow at my sons school and then I go play with Arielle at her last recess at school for her birthday. I am bringing my camera to take pictures of her and her friends. Might as well celebrate with all her classmates. It'll be fun.

Time to see how this new drive works.

Til later....

Why am I crying so much today??

There is so much going through my head and I just can't control my emotions today. I pet my cat, realize that she is mine and I love her and I tear up. Then my mind goes to the fact that my oldest daughter has never even met the cats. The cats are almost 3 years old. That is so long! I have not had my daughter in my house in that long! That is totally horrible and miserable to me. I miss her so much!

I am also cleaning up Allen's room and that has been a chore. He has these two little monkeys he has and still sleeps with. I WISH that I could get a picture of him at his current age(almost 14) sleeping there with Monkey in his arms the way I found him this morning. To have a silent camera and catch that moment would make my year....he hates having his picture taken so I have to snap one, and run for the hills so he doesn't erase it from the memory card. He truly hates it. I snapped one this morning and he complained but I won out. He tried to tackle me but I told him to respect his momma. He backed off. Picture is safe, LOL! I took him to school this morning and he is upset that he has to take the bus tomorrow at his dads. I take him whenever I can and at his dad's that is not an option at all. He likes being pampered and I like doing it for him. It gives me 10 minutes of time of whatever with him...he loves to talk about stuff that happens in his life then so I eat it up....I hope that it continues for awhile.

Now I know why I am tearing up.....read the pragraphs above and you'd be crying too.

Oh and another...my baby turns 7 tomorrow! That's the saddest part of all. She is seriously excited about it! We are going to see Hannah Montana on Saturday and I am bringing her cupcakes to school this afternoon so her class can have them there tomorrow for lunch. And I have to close this up so I can get that done.

Hope your day goes well. If I make it through this week, I'll be very happy...

Til later!

I finally did it....

I updated my resume. I had such a hard time last year trying to find a job and being rejected by companies that I swore if I ever did get a job, I'd be there forever and never need to update it again. WRONG! That job lasted a total of 12 weeks. I was lucky enough to be accepted as a sub in the school district again without the update so really, I have not seen it since August. I had to find it in one of my lost, forgotten, emails but that was not too bad of a search. Amazingly enough, I went back to my August emails, and Poof, there it was~! :)

The reason for the update is because I am, once again, searching for employment. I am looking for summertime work because as soon as school starts in August, I'll be subbing back in the school again. The woman who found my first post graduation job, has an employment agency and contacts who let her know when they need experienced employees. I hate interviewing, but if I have some money to put away this summer, it'll make the trip to Florida in August much more enjoyeable. So...I have to suck it up and see what God has planned for my summer.

The kids come back tonight and I am trying to get a few things done before they get here. Arielle's birthday is on Thursday and I found out that I am only working a half day so I am going to bring her snacks in after her recess. I also made a word search for her classmates to do that encompasses Arielle and her talents and loves. I hope she likes it.

I guess my son's room is waiting to get cleaned a bit. It'll certainly smell a little better after I fumigate it...

Til later!

Can the sun come out and play???

Dreary, wet, cloudy days are not good for some people who need the sunshine to be awake, happy, and willing to do something besides mope around the house in a slump....


Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.

Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Hiding behind a tree.
These little children are asking you. To please come out so we can play with you.
Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. golden sun. Please shine down on, please shine down on,
Please shine down on me!

I have had the worst week in terms of people dying around me. Baby Cora died after just 33 hours into her life, My friends father passed away on Tuesday and my former mother in law is close to death now. The kids are there with her in Iowa now and I won't hear any news about that until they get home Monday night. And gray clouds don't help the situation...I miss my kids....and I don't really want to handle these tragedies alone..

Sorry to be such a party pooper....hopefully next week will be better....

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DI!

Diana is my sister and she turns a year older today. She is my older sister and she is my best friend. I called her this morning and she has the day/weekend off for the spring break. I mailed off her package so I hope it got to her today or maybe tomorrow. I would not be as sane as I am today if it were not for her and her support. It's cool the way our two lives have entertwined. She and I both told our parents the same week that we were getting divorced. We got married for the second time within 10 days of each other in the same year. We are each others biggest fans. She puts up with me and my crazy ways and I put up with hers. It's a mutual admiration society. I LOVE YOU!!!

My kids just left to go off to Iowa and visitt their sick grandmother for Easter. It was my year to have them for spring break but since my ex-MIL is so sick, I figured it'd be better for me to give in and then make it up later when things weren't so sticky with health issues. I am praying for her health. She has been sick most of her life and she is now 61 with a host of heart and health issues. It's surprising that she has lived this long, after numerous open heart surgeries and pacemakers, and other stuff....I miss the relationship that we had before the divorce. She was like my second mom and after the divorce, the whole family basicaly wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Oh well, I can still pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. God doesn't care....If she dies, I will mourn the death just like any other of my beloved family members.

Talking of death, sorry to be such a downer. I am on rack to attend two funerals this weekend. One of an infant daughter of a coworker of mine. She lived one day. She had a heart defect when she was born and she coded once and then they decided to let her go instead of trying heroic measures to keep her alive. I probably won't go to that one but I know when the funeral is so I'll be thinking about her then. The other one I am helping food with is a friend of mines alzheimers afflicted father. He escaped from his nursing home through a window on Tuesday in the middle of the night. His escape made the news so I was shocked to find it was her father. He is now not in pain and the family can finally rest too. It's awfully hard on a family to take care of a family member with that debilitating disease.

Can I think of anything chipper to talk about? Hmm....no, not really.... well maybe... I got paid early. The bills are getting paid on time....I made a great chicken tettrazini for dinner tonight. Hubby will be home in about an hour...I can sleep in tomorrow morning....what else.....I guess that is it.

I still miss my kids this weekend so I'm gonna close and cry some. Have a great Easter. I may update more later on if I feel a bit more cheery...

Til later!

Monday update----

Today I work at the high school at 11am. I still have to mail my sister's birthday present. I hope to work tomorrow and Wedneswday before Spring break-Thurs-Monday. I gave up my spring break with the kids so they could visit their sick grandmother in Iowa. It may be the last time they see her so I had to do it.

I want to work in the yard and get that ready for the summer. There are broken branches all over the yard that have to be thrown over the fence. I have a rose bush that died last year that is showing some growth so I have to be caqreful with that one. I planted eight rosebuches last year and only three survived. I have to find my strawberry plants and make sure I can get a bumper crop this year. I also go strawberry picking at a local farm and freeze most of them for future desserts.

Lots to do this week. Hope that your week is well.

Til later!

Friday Update!

It's about 10pm and I just looked at the clock! Whoa, time flies when you're doing stuff that you like.

This week was good, worked 3.5 days and got to work at the high school which has the nicest teachers and assistants in the whole district. I got requested 3 times this week and that makes me feel wonderful!

It's the beginning of April and I am trying to redo the budget to put a huge amount into savings and save for the bad summer break where my paycheck will be $0. for about 10 weeks. I am scared to go out and interview for a position anywhere else for the summer. I really want to work at the district and if I save enough money now, we can make it through with the paycheck being reduced. I dread interviews and the endless waiting. I am familiar with the district and the people and my interview process there would be a breeze if I had to do it for a full time position.

Life has gotten busier this week with the start of baseball season. Arielle plays coach pitch softball and Allen will play baseball. They have thier first practice tomorrow. Games start in a few weeks. We also have two birthdays to celebrate. Arielle will be 7 on the 16th and Allen turns 14 on May 2. It'll be a quiet celebration. Not much fanfare this year.

Tonight Allen is sleeping at his dad's because his friend is coming over there tomorrow morning and Arielle is having a sleep over with a friend of hers from school here tonight. I am also trying to catch up on some of the stuff around the house that I have not gotten to in the last couple of weeks.

*Good luck on that one, Andi!*

Well, I better check on the girls. They are watching a movie and pausing the screen so the actors make weird faces, LOL, funny girls!!!

Have a great night. I intend to....

Til later.....

Onto a new week...

Today was cool and was relaxing.

Life is good again...

Til Later!

Heater is fixed....

The igniter went out and it cost $100 to get it fixed. $100 that I had to take out of savings but, oh well....

Today is Saturday. Did laundry, will clean up the basement. BIG trash day is April 15th so I am gathering up things/junk in the house to put out and get out of the house. I love the show Clean House on the Style Network and it gets me revved up to clean, inside and out. We have been avoiding a hall closet that has so much crap in it. We never go there so that shows me that there is nothing in that closet that I need to keep. We'll see if I find any treasures that I won't want to let go....lol

Til later!

A very stressful time averted..

I think...

Being a frugal person, I am always trying to make my life pay less in interest. I always look for the best deal, the best way of shaving needed money to go toward a better frugal idea. I do have my weaknesses though and this one just bit me last week. Confession time... I am a total computer freak...geek..I have a computer obsession. I saw these little netboks and I just had to have one....I waited almost a month before I bit the bullet...and got one (two) for hubby and me.....My inward discussionwent like this..

Andi: I need one

Brain: It's too expensive

Andi: My PDA is on it's last legs...It would cost just as much to get a new PDA as to get this new great netbook..

Brain: NO money....you need to pay down the debt...not up it again.

Andi: I can't What about cHUlive without my PDA. I need to have my files, and budget with me at all times for groceries, my pictures, and music...If I get this netbook, I have internet, files, and portability for the same price.

Brain: What about hubby? He has his PDA.

Andi: But mhy PDA is dying...It won't even stay on for half a second.

The morning of the purchase..

Andi: I can save money and wait til the cash is there in hand.

(Meanwhile, 3am, hubby gets online on the desktop on his log on and blocks mine so I can't et to my files...)

Brain: He's on the computer again. I can't get to sleep..It's 3AM!!! Great, I am awkake and can't check my mail or Facebook since he is on.

Andi: I am getting two netbooks tomorrow.That way there is no fighting about who is on the computer. Everyone has thier own and everyone is happy!

Brain: YUP! We'll find the money someplace.

I worked more hours this week than ever before and there is still two more months left for school. These netbooks will be paid off in the next 3 weeks. A friend of mine is taking an early vacation in May and she has asked me to work her position that last week of school. COOL! A full week working...that'll more than make up money for this purchase.

I transferred all files to my netbook and I am as happy as I have ever been with a computer purchase. No regrets there and hubby loveshis too.

Til later!

Don't ever say "It can't happen to me!"

Because it can and most likely will.....I am talking about credit cards not holding to their word in a contract.

They can do whatever they want and they only do it for their own best interest!

It doesn't matter what they did to me. I kind of walked in and said that it would not happen to me even though there are tons of other blogs out there saying it happened to them.

I just cut up the remaining "emergency cards" I had and threw them away. Never again, will I have a balance hanging over my head....but I do have to pay these off first. UGH! I was a sucker and now I am paying for it. Eye Opening experience!

I am so mad at myself for being so complacent...not as complacent as others I know but still.....

Today is my mom's birthday. I sent her a recipe book that my church made this past Christmas. She loved it.

Today my eyes were opened!

Today is a new day!

I work all days this week. My paycheck will be bigger than most. Two more months of school days left to work. I am off summer break. I have a cushion for the summer months of no work. I will sub next year. I will go to Florida but I wil not use credit cards. I will use cash and make it a frugal vacation. Lots of beach time and cheap/free activities.

I feel a bit better but I won't feel a ton better until I know I can tell all the credit card companies to off themselves. 3 years from now!

Til later!

I hate it when plans don't work out!

My reunion with my best friend just went poof! We had planned a trip to the zoo and spending some time together but as usual, something happens to ruin it! Story of my life! I plan stuff, it never happens the way I want it to. I don't wish for surprises, and they come....like my Florida trip!

But, on the other hand, I have so much other stuf to do today, that I was cramming into a couple of hours that now I can stretch out in ways today. Arielle and I are watching Twilight together this afternoon. I have to get the cats from the vet. I have to visit a store and see if I can find a couple of bookshelves (tall and skinny ones) to organize and redecorate my living room and bedroom. I am going to down some ice cream, just because!

My mom's birthday is this week and I have to mail off her present. I am thinking of another thing I want to do concerning my budget but don't know if I will or not. Talk about that later.

Have a great weekend. I aim to make myself feel better because this morning sure didn't go well for me!

Til later!

Florida Paperwork

It came in the mail today. It gave me a number to call to ask questions. I have a few. I know the staying accomodations are a part of the prize. I know the amenities included are the 2 bedroom villa, fitness room, kitchenette, bicycles and tennis courts to have 1 hour free access. There are a ton of things we can do as I listed in the last post. I am looking forward to the pictures of the scenery that I will capture. The water, beach, shell searching, walks along the surf, etc....Oh it's gonna be awesome! We are driving down. We are taking at least one kid, if not 2, depending on Allen's band schedule. It'll depend on a bit of strategizing with the kids father to get everything the way I want it. It is so worth it though.

I have been seriously enthralled with collecting youtube videos. I have found programs to download them, change the format, and then downloaded them to my MP3 player. I love music and sometimes I can find a video that I have not seen in a very long time or it's a song or artist that I have on a tape that I can't digitally copy. SO......I now have it on my MP3 player to listen to/watch anytime I want, outside of work, I mean....LOL!

Well, that has been my life the past week or so. I have worked almost every day so that makes me really happy. I made mention this morning to the woman who calls me every morning, to make the high school a priority work place for me to work. She said that not a lot of people like it there so I should have a ton of work there. That thrilled me. Have a great night and week.

Til later...... :)

Making Plans for this Trip.....*happily giggles*

OK, saving money is always a concern, I mean, it is Florida and at a high priced resort......so we are driving instead of flying...

We are still unsure of when to go but we are fairly certain that we want the kids to go with us.

It is a two bedroom villa with a kitchenette and much more but I am not sure what else.

Plans for being there:

Horseback riding (us)
beach (us)
sunset watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
sunrise watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
golf (Chuck)
swimming (us)
parasailing (I want to so badly)
mini golf (us)
shopping (us)
gathering shells (us)
staying far away from jelly fish (us)
video tape all (me)
taking pictures (us)
making memories (us)
enjoy the time together (us)
relaxing (us)

We'll see what happens....

Til later...