Have you ever looked or seen someone you haven't seen in a while and after talking to them and catching up, walk away saying,"Wow, they have really changed..."
I want people who see me in 2010 to say just that. Words like happier, confident, stable, livelier, more outgoing, always smiling...bubblier..come to mind.
2009 was a year of living, exploring, experimenting, realizing the ultimate truth behind so many facets of my life. I changed the way I live, love, and feel others love me. Acceptance and love are the only way to live this world we are a part of. Peace, harmony, and love. That's it. Friendly competition does not have to be an all out brawl to the death.
I will live 2010 and the years following differently. more accepting of people's strengths and weaknesses. We are all human and make mistakes. Not one of us will cease to make mistakes. We will learn from them and grow.
That is all any of us can hope for...a happy life where we can be accepted and loved. I learned this year that I have to accept myself first before anybody else can. Truth is the opening of hearts, minds and friendship to all races, creeds, nationalities, sexual orientation, disabled, etc...We are not here to judge one another for there is only One who can and will judge us fairly. We are here to grow and learn and make the world a better place than when we first got here.
Peace for us all in 2010! Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
YAY! Now I can move on...really.....!
Get on with life and put that part of me to the side, where it belongs.
I am still me, the me who people love and understand is a bit goofy, but lovable. A friend who would rather give til her heart bleeds than let you be disappointed in her. A friend who would put everything on hold to make you happy. That's me...
Well today I am finishing up a present for a very special person. I have found a project that I enjoy doing, that puts that personal touch in, where a group of people connect and can relive past events. It puts a smile on their face, and I grin at the love it represents...and shows.
Christmas is tomorrow and the kids are coming back from their father's for a few days and then are off to Iowa to see grandparents. It's a short time to see them (5 days)and I miss them dearly but I have really loved being here with Susan so we can bond and act all newlywed like. It's been so nice and we will be spending time with the kids during the next few days.
January is gonna be a trial on so many levels. New year, new life, looking for a decent job to help pay bills, seeing what bills I can lower or eliminate completely until the dust settles from the change. How is my new tax situation gonna help with bills for February? Hmm..maybe all the worry will help me lose the 5 lbs. that I gained during all this bonding happiness. So much food and I am eating it all!
Well, I am sure you will hear from me again on the weekend, after all the presents have been opened and smiles, jeers have been received.
Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families!
I am still me, the me who people love and understand is a bit goofy, but lovable. A friend who would rather give til her heart bleeds than let you be disappointed in her. A friend who would put everything on hold to make you happy. That's me...
Well today I am finishing up a present for a very special person. I have found a project that I enjoy doing, that puts that personal touch in, where a group of people connect and can relive past events. It puts a smile on their face, and I grin at the love it represents...and shows.
Christmas is tomorrow and the kids are coming back from their father's for a few days and then are off to Iowa to see grandparents. It's a short time to see them (5 days)and I miss them dearly but I have really loved being here with Susan so we can bond and act all newlywed like. It's been so nice and we will be spending time with the kids during the next few days.
January is gonna be a trial on so many levels. New year, new life, looking for a decent job to help pay bills, seeing what bills I can lower or eliminate completely until the dust settles from the change. How is my new tax situation gonna help with bills for February? Hmm..maybe all the worry will help me lose the 5 lbs. that I gained during all this bonding happiness. So much food and I am eating it all!
Well, I am sure you will hear from me again on the weekend, after all the presents have been opened and smiles, jeers have been received.
Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Better get this off before you guys think I have totally fallen off the cliff.
Things have been so busy around here and my brain is so wrapped up in the current chaos that is my life that half the time, I can't think at all. Does that make sense? Jeesh..I have no idea anymore.
The holidays are upon us and I am currently on vacation from work. Go back on January 4th. Spending lots of time with Susan getting Christmas done for our families......umm...oh yeah...I have not talked about Susan, have I? Hmmm..Lets go back about 25 years...
When I was 13 or 14...I thought I was gay and tried to kill myself..I had always had feelings for women, teachers, friends moms, etc. since I was 7 years old. I tried to come out to my sister and my parents and after my suicide attempt, they thought it best that I was put into a psych hospital for 2 months. Hmm.. I never mentioned my attractions to women after that. I proceeded to join the Mormon church and marry a man who used it against me after we divorced, 13 years later. Mind you, I never had a relationship with a woman, just desired one. He used that fantasy and made my life hell. Even worse after the divorce because he told my kids with a twist here and there to make me a evil person. Always desiring and never having the guts or being ashamed of those feelings not being normal or right, he loved to torment me with it.
Fast forward to 2005. Met and married second husband. My daughter left my house because of what my ex, her father had told her about my "past". I had no past, wanting or having feelings for a woman was my past. I never actually went through with it. I was plagued by my secret coming out. And her father used it against me in getting my children to hate me and want to move in with him. With her, it worked, based on fantasy....now present day. All of my kids know, even the 7 year old, and I am happy to say, she loves Susan and the boy,while not happy, he has made no mention of leaving my house for now so we'll just go day by day and see what happens.
My marriage to the second husband had been over for over a year now we just hadn't had the nerve to say anything to each other, we just did separate things, and enjoyed our separate lives together. There were so many things wrong and we slid into a state where I couldn't handle it anymore.
I had misgivings about my church for awhile for a lot of different reasons. Gay Rights have become forefront in light of Obama's election the past year and I had many visions and dreams about finally coming out. My husband was and still is a devout republican and I could not stand to listen to some of the stuff he was saying about my secret changing political views.
Long story short. I am gay and Susan is my girlfriend and I could not be happier with her in my life. She is everything I need. We came together in September because of a common fondness for the soap opera Guiding Light and their storyline of two heterosexual woman forming a friendship and then realizing that they had fallen in love with each other. It is based on their struggles with their own feelings,feelings for each other, and how they manage day to day life with their friends and family. Sadly, Guiding Light was cancelled and the storyline never was able to run it's full course..so sad. Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia played the roles superbly and are now most loved by a group of beautiful people I hang around with online.
My trip to Las Vegas was for me and 4 of my online friends to attend a fan gathering to meet 12 of the actors from Guiding Light and I had the pleasure of talking to Crystal about my own emergence into the gay world and how difficult it has been for me. I publicly declared in front of over 400 people and the Guiding Light cast how happy I was for the storyline and how much it changed my life. Most thrilling moment of my life!! It is so nice to not have this secret festering in my heart and head anymore. I have since come out on my facebook account and made a public declaration of love to Susan. All my friends and family have been loving and supportive, even if there are few out there who are struggling with my decision to come out so publicly. I am not immune to judgement but so far, it's been minimal. Love me for me, I'm just more honest now than before....no more secrets to hold back...
SO.....Merry Christmas to all. I sincerely hope that you are as happy as I am right now as we are about to enter another year with new avenues to pursue. Next year, I hope to be in a more stable place in life and love.
Til later!
Things have been so busy around here and my brain is so wrapped up in the current chaos that is my life that half the time, I can't think at all. Does that make sense? Jeesh..I have no idea anymore.
The holidays are upon us and I am currently on vacation from work. Go back on January 4th. Spending lots of time with Susan getting Christmas done for our families......umm...oh yeah...I have not talked about Susan, have I? Hmmm..Lets go back about 25 years...
When I was 13 or 14...I thought I was gay and tried to kill myself..I had always had feelings for women, teachers, friends moms, etc. since I was 7 years old. I tried to come out to my sister and my parents and after my suicide attempt, they thought it best that I was put into a psych hospital for 2 months. Hmm.. I never mentioned my attractions to women after that. I proceeded to join the Mormon church and marry a man who used it against me after we divorced, 13 years later. Mind you, I never had a relationship with a woman, just desired one. He used that fantasy and made my life hell. Even worse after the divorce because he told my kids with a twist here and there to make me a evil person. Always desiring and never having the guts or being ashamed of those feelings not being normal or right, he loved to torment me with it.
Fast forward to 2005. Met and married second husband. My daughter left my house because of what my ex, her father had told her about my "past". I had no past, wanting or having feelings for a woman was my past. I never actually went through with it. I was plagued by my secret coming out. And her father used it against me in getting my children to hate me and want to move in with him. With her, it worked, based on fantasy....now present day. All of my kids know, even the 7 year old, and I am happy to say, she loves Susan and the boy,while not happy, he has made no mention of leaving my house for now so we'll just go day by day and see what happens.
My marriage to the second husband had been over for over a year now we just hadn't had the nerve to say anything to each other, we just did separate things, and enjoyed our separate lives together. There were so many things wrong and we slid into a state where I couldn't handle it anymore.
I had misgivings about my church for awhile for a lot of different reasons. Gay Rights have become forefront in light of Obama's election the past year and I had many visions and dreams about finally coming out. My husband was and still is a devout republican and I could not stand to listen to some of the stuff he was saying about my secret changing political views.
Long story short. I am gay and Susan is my girlfriend and I could not be happier with her in my life. She is everything I need. We came together in September because of a common fondness for the soap opera Guiding Light and their storyline of two heterosexual woman forming a friendship and then realizing that they had fallen in love with each other. It is based on their struggles with their own feelings,feelings for each other, and how they manage day to day life with their friends and family. Sadly, Guiding Light was cancelled and the storyline never was able to run it's full course..so sad. Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia played the roles superbly and are now most loved by a group of beautiful people I hang around with online.
My trip to Las Vegas was for me and 4 of my online friends to attend a fan gathering to meet 12 of the actors from Guiding Light and I had the pleasure of talking to Crystal about my own emergence into the gay world and how difficult it has been for me. I publicly declared in front of over 400 people and the Guiding Light cast how happy I was for the storyline and how much it changed my life. Most thrilling moment of my life!! It is so nice to not have this secret festering in my heart and head anymore. I have since come out on my facebook account and made a public declaration of love to Susan. All my friends and family have been loving and supportive, even if there are few out there who are struggling with my decision to come out so publicly. I am not immune to judgement but so far, it's been minimal. Love me for me, I'm just more honest now than before....no more secrets to hold back...
SO.....Merry Christmas to all. I sincerely hope that you are as happy as I am right now as we are about to enter another year with new avenues to pursue. Next year, I hope to be in a more stable place in life and love.
Til later!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Back from Vegas!
It's been a day since I have been back and I am organizing the pictures from the trip. I am trying to keep pictures of my friends stuff seperate from mine but I don't know if I can do that successfully. We had so many and frankly, my firends camera was a lot better then mine so we'll see how they look after I put them in the editor.
I will be back with pictures but it could be the weekend before I can get them up. If anyone cares....LOL!
I will be back with pictures but it could be the weekend before I can get them up. If anyone cares....LOL!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Happy December!!
Work is good, house is looking well after ex came and got his stuff. Tree is up, and life is going well, if I just had more time to spend with the people I love. That's what I miss most. Movie nights are few and far between, haven't even seen New Moon yet and I want to see the movie with Sandra Bullock...Maybe over Christmas break. Have two weeks off...
Many Happy Days Ahead!!
Many Happy Days Ahead!!
Friday, November 27, 2009
My Black Friday Savings!!
We got up at 5am (oh gosh) and went to Walmart first. Bought stuff for $98.19 and saved $128.00 Yay!!!!
Next was Target. Bought stuff for $64.17 and saved $40.47.
Next was Justice for the baby princess in my house. Bought stuff for $68.95 and saved $$42.84.
Last but not least was Gordmans. Bought stuff for $69.01 and saved $85.03.
The grand total for all items bought was $300.32 and the amount saved by going this morning during Black Friday specials was $296.34. WOW!!!!!
And the best part about it is that with the exception of a few minor details, and small gifts, my Christmas shopping is all but done! And I found another great surprise today....Susan loves to wrap!!! I hate to wrap! Could I find a better person to spend my time with? No, I think not!!! I am so lucky!!!! Angel and Bubba are so lucky to have me since they, this year, deserve coal and twigs for Christmas. I am a softy! And sadly, they know it, and use it to their advantage.
And now we are going back to bed since 5am and Andi do not mix, at all!!!! Night!
Next was Target. Bought stuff for $64.17 and saved $40.47.
Next was Justice for the baby princess in my house. Bought stuff for $68.95 and saved $$42.84.
Last but not least was Gordmans. Bought stuff for $69.01 and saved $85.03.
The grand total for all items bought was $300.32 and the amount saved by going this morning during Black Friday specials was $296.34. WOW!!!!!
And the best part about it is that with the exception of a few minor details, and small gifts, my Christmas shopping is all but done! And I found another great surprise today....Susan loves to wrap!!! I hate to wrap! Could I find a better person to spend my time with? No, I think not!!! I am so lucky!!!! Angel and Bubba are so lucky to have me since they, this year, deserve coal and twigs for Christmas. I am a softy! And sadly, they know it, and use it to their advantage.
And now we are going back to bed since 5am and Andi do not mix, at all!!!! Night!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi all! Happy go lucky Andi here. The turkey is in, Susan is making breakfast for me and her niece who lives with her and I am catching up on computer stuff. I am not slacking... there are pictures of me and the turkey getting quite intimate with butter, garlic, poultry seasoning and the rest....
I am happy today. The kids are with their fathers and I know they are having fun with their relatives in Iowa. Their grandmother is in poor health and not doing very well this year so its best they are with her. I am happy because I feel like everything is going to be fine. I wake up in the morning wanting it all to be perfect and that's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I have to live with that. I have a beautiful soul next to me helping me through the rough time. We are helping each other and that is what makes us happy right now. No one knows tomorrow, but I sure hope she is here by my side tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the rest of our lives. I am thankful for her!
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
I am happy today. The kids are with their fathers and I know they are having fun with their relatives in Iowa. Their grandmother is in poor health and not doing very well this year so its best they are with her. I am happy because I feel like everything is going to be fine. I wake up in the morning wanting it all to be perfect and that's just not going to happen. It is what it is and I have to live with that. I have a beautiful soul next to me helping me through the rough time. We are helping each other and that is what makes us happy right now. No one knows tomorrow, but I sure hope she is here by my side tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and the rest of our lives. I am thankful for her!
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Happy Wednesday
It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I am getting ready to drive to Susan's house this afternoon for this weekends festivities. Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with her family, or it may just be the two of us, Friday: shopping, Saturday: packing up stuff here, Sunday: getting ready for next week.
I am headed to Vegas to meet up with friends next weekend and I am super excited about it. We are all there to meet up and have some fun! We all need a break from our lives so we are doing just that. Susan can't come with because she has to work but she'll pick me up at the airport and then back to the work week til Christmas vacation. Busy busy month ahead.
I want to wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday weekend. I am truly thankful for the people I have gotten to know in the past year so I could handle the life changes I am experiencing now. THANKS!!
I am headed to Vegas to meet up with friends next weekend and I am super excited about it. We are all there to meet up and have some fun! We all need a break from our lives so we are doing just that. Susan can't come with because she has to work but she'll pick me up at the airport and then back to the work week til Christmas vacation. Busy busy month ahead.
I want to wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday weekend. I am truly thankful for the people I have gotten to know in the past year so I could handle the life changes I am experiencing now. THANKS!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It just keeps on coming....
It's 6:05am and I am debating on whether or not to let them call me into work today. It should be a super easy day but I have so much on my mind that my heart and body aches with worry and stress.
My father is 65 and lives in Colorado. He shattered his L1 vertebrae on Wednesday. He did not go into the hospital til Friday night after he told my mom, to do what is best. Ambulance took him to hospital. DUH!! he's 6'1" and 110 lbs. He has acute renal failure and is getting a bit better with meds and being pump0ed with fluids to kick start his kidneys again. I asked mom if she wants me to come home for Thanksgiving, but she said no. So I am staying here and waiting on updates.
There are things in my life right now that I have no control over and it's killing me. The ex is being a jerk about money and can't get his freaking act together so I can live. If he does not get me what he owes me, I'll be forced to go on government aide and I really do not like being on the systems payroll. I live in Illinois. The government here can't pay their workers their hard earned pay, what can I expect from a broken system that we have paid into to help the people who are really in need in hard times?? It all just sucks!!
The only saving grace in my life is my BFF, Susan. She helps me whenI am down, comforts me when I am stressed and loves me for who I am and who I am desperately trying to become. We are celebrating Thanksgiving together since the kids are going to their fathers and we are going to get up Friday morning to check out the Black Friday sales. She is up at 4am and I have never done that so it will be an experience. It should be a fun Thursday and Friday.
Oh and then I have Saturday to look forward to.
Saturday the ex is picking up his furniture he still has here, including my queen size bed. He is taking the couch, recliner, bed and living room tv. UGH!! I am so glad that Susan will be there for me cause I am going to need her after he leaves with the stuff. The house will look so empty. Luckily, she is giving me some replacement furniture until I can get settled into my own stuff again.
Well, those are my plans for the week. I hope that my friends in life are happy and will make the most of this holiday season. I look forward to hearing about your life. TTYL!
My father is 65 and lives in Colorado. He shattered his L1 vertebrae on Wednesday. He did not go into the hospital til Friday night after he told my mom, to do what is best. Ambulance took him to hospital. DUH!! he's 6'1" and 110 lbs. He has acute renal failure and is getting a bit better with meds and being pump0ed with fluids to kick start his kidneys again. I asked mom if she wants me to come home for Thanksgiving, but she said no. So I am staying here and waiting on updates.
There are things in my life right now that I have no control over and it's killing me. The ex is being a jerk about money and can't get his freaking act together so I can live. If he does not get me what he owes me, I'll be forced to go on government aide and I really do not like being on the systems payroll. I live in Illinois. The government here can't pay their workers their hard earned pay, what can I expect from a broken system that we have paid into to help the people who are really in need in hard times?? It all just sucks!!
The only saving grace in my life is my BFF, Susan. She helps me whenI am down, comforts me when I am stressed and loves me for who I am and who I am desperately trying to become. We are celebrating Thanksgiving together since the kids are going to their fathers and we are going to get up Friday morning to check out the Black Friday sales. She is up at 4am and I have never done that so it will be an experience. It should be a fun Thursday and Friday.
Oh and then I have Saturday to look forward to.
Saturday the ex is picking up his furniture he still has here, including my queen size bed. He is taking the couch, recliner, bed and living room tv. UGH!! I am so glad that Susan will be there for me cause I am going to need her after he leaves with the stuff. The house will look so empty. Luckily, she is giving me some replacement furniture until I can get settled into my own stuff again.
Well, those are my plans for the week. I hope that my friends in life are happy and will make the most of this holiday season. I look forward to hearing about your life. TTYL!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Update on job
Well, I never got an interview but I now know why. I was never given the paperwork to register me with the state so I could actually be hired. So the paperwork is being processed and the next time that I have an application I want to file, I'll be prepared and actually get on the interview list.
Life is pretty good. Work is good and my personal life is coming together. The kids are handling their own with having news given to them. Life sometimes throws things at us that we have to contend with. Life is not always what we invision it. It has changes and twists and turns and we have to conform to meet those challenges head on. They are there to help us learn and to teach us how to handle society as a whole as different people with different talents and things to offer. We are all one planet and we have to get along. No hate mongering in my family. I won't stand for hateful talk in my house against anyone.
Update:::
I am in the middle of trying to find out how I am going to support my family now. Just got a rude awakening as to my current financial situation. Oh crap, and right before Christmas too. I have a court order saying that I am owed so much money by January 1st but the person who owes it to me, is being a jerk about it....UGH!! Time to step into action Plan B, C, and possibly Plan D! I will never lend a hand to help someone out of a financial situation mess they caused by their own stupid practices because now I am getting screwed for being nice and unselfish!
LESSON LEARNED!!!
Life is pretty good. Work is good and my personal life is coming together. The kids are handling their own with having news given to them. Life sometimes throws things at us that we have to contend with. Life is not always what we invision it. It has changes and twists and turns and we have to conform to meet those challenges head on. They are there to help us learn and to teach us how to handle society as a whole as different people with different talents and things to offer. We are all one planet and we have to get along. No hate mongering in my family. I won't stand for hateful talk in my house against anyone.
Update:::
I am in the middle of trying to find out how I am going to support my family now. Just got a rude awakening as to my current financial situation. Oh crap, and right before Christmas too. I have a court order saying that I am owed so much money by January 1st but the person who owes it to me, is being a jerk about it....UGH!! Time to step into action Plan B, C, and possibly Plan D! I will never lend a hand to help someone out of a financial situation mess they caused by their own stupid practices because now I am getting screwed for being nice and unselfish!
LESSON LEARNED!!!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Hi again...
I don't have to work today so I am catching up on things that have been put on the backburner for awhile.
I am currently waiting for a job application to be reviewed so I can get this job I really want. Prayers would be appreciated since the money situation will be getting pretty thin in a month or so, just before Christmas.
The divorce is final and actually was super fast. He and I are still talking. It's strange cause now I am receiving email forwards from him about stuff that he knew I hated to get when we were married. It's like he wanted out and just be friends....
I can't do that. I need to move on and I am doing that without him.
The kids are doing well. The ex is not talked about and not really an issue. We have other issues that we are dealing with at the moment which have long standing consequences but they will all be worked out eventually too. It involves their father so that is a neverending dilemma.
My wish for all is to have a great upcoming holiday season. It's coming fast and will be here before we know it. Winter storms, ice, snow, down right blistery cold days are all the lovely things that we are going to have to endure the next 4-5 months. I am trying to gear up for it the best I can. We'll see what happens.
Have a great day!
I am currently waiting for a job application to be reviewed so I can get this job I really want. Prayers would be appreciated since the money situation will be getting pretty thin in a month or so, just before Christmas.
The divorce is final and actually was super fast. He and I are still talking. It's strange cause now I am receiving email forwards from him about stuff that he knew I hated to get when we were married. It's like he wanted out and just be friends....
I can't do that. I need to move on and I am doing that without him.
The kids are doing well. The ex is not talked about and not really an issue. We have other issues that we are dealing with at the moment which have long standing consequences but they will all be worked out eventually too. It involves their father so that is a neverending dilemma.
My wish for all is to have a great upcoming holiday season. It's coming fast and will be here before we know it. Winter storms, ice, snow, down right blistery cold days are all the lovely things that we are going to have to endure the next 4-5 months. I am trying to gear up for it the best I can. We'll see what happens.
Have a great day!
Monday, September 28, 2009
MY LIFE!
My life is going through great transitions right now and I appreciate prayers going to our family at this time. Anyone who needs or wants more info, contact me directly, do not go through family as they are not privy to my feelings or how we are handling this crisis!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Friday, July 24, 2009
The update of a Lifetime...Pictures
Jessica and I had a talk about a month ago at church and I told her that I would give her a list of stuff that she left at my house...her yearbooks, projects from school, and other things that she had left behind that I still had in my possession. She called me yesterday, her 18th birthday. She asked me where we wanted to meet to get her those things I had collected for her. We set up a time and place and planned to meet. I was nervous and excited and very scared. Was she gonna be nice...was she gonna tell me to stay out of her life forever? She had both options. I really had no idea.
Well, this was the result....
Allen was there and took the pictures. I was talking so I look goofy but my girl is standing next to me and smiling so it's definitely an improvement over a year ago when she would not even cross the street to give Arielle a hug at a parade. She says she is far away from forgiving me but she still gave me an open door to look through as we take baby steps toward coming back together as a family. I gave her two hugs and a kiss on the cheek and she didn't shove me away so that was very encouraging to me. I love her so much! I just hope in the next few months, as she continues to struggle with her college and new found adult life, she will realize that I am a shoulder she can lean on if she needs it.
I'll keep you up to date. I am so grateful for all 3 of my kids. And the weight being lifted off my shoulders by yesterday's events made for a very restful night.
Til later!
Well, this was the result....
Allen was there and took the pictures. I was talking so I look goofy but my girl is standing next to me and smiling so it's definitely an improvement over a year ago when she would not even cross the street to give Arielle a hug at a parade. She says she is far away from forgiving me but she still gave me an open door to look through as we take baby steps toward coming back together as a family. I gave her two hugs and a kiss on the cheek and she didn't shove me away so that was very encouraging to me. I love her so much! I just hope in the next few months, as she continues to struggle with her college and new found adult life, she will realize that I am a shoulder she can lean on if she needs it.
I'll keep you up to date. I am so grateful for all 3 of my kids. And the weight being lifted off my shoulders by yesterday's events made for a very restful night.
Til later!
The update of a lifetime....Videos
I made these two videos as a momento to the 18 years that Jessi has lived so far as my child. She is now an adult and has to live her own life. It was easier capturing moments of her life when she was younger. These videos are a present to her family and friends who have loved her all these years.
Home movies combined into a video set to music. Enjoy!
Still pictures set to music. Enjoy!
Home movies combined into a video set to music. Enjoy!
Still pictures set to music. Enjoy!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, is it August yet?
I woke up this morning and got online and remembered that I had to take my car into the repair guy. My car has not been able to go in reverse for three weeks. I took it in and walked the 3 miles back home. They said probably this afternoon. I said it better be today.....ARGH! $375 later....luckily I have it in savings to take out.
Later.....
Yay! I got my car back! I don't feel so out of control now. Went to Walmart to do a drink run and am now home to work more on my DD's video. T-minus 3 days til my baby turns 18 and it's killing me going through the home movies and sorting through the pics. Oh well...time does not stand still for anyone...not even me...lol
Til later!
Later.....
Yay! I got my car back! I don't feel so out of control now. Went to Walmart to do a drink run and am now home to work more on my DD's video. T-minus 3 days til my baby turns 18 and it's killing me going through the home movies and sorting through the pics. Oh well...time does not stand still for anyone...not even me...lol
Til later!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
What....she's back??? Eh, maybe...
Oh gosh! Life has kicked my butt and is turning around to make another sweep. Hurry, duck, or jump, or do whatever so it doesn't hurt so bad.
My update is short and sweet! June was me sitting in front of my computer 20-21 hours a day getting things worked out for making videos and spending alot of time on Facebook's farmtown. July has been emotional getting my daughters video together for her 18th birthday which is now only 4 days away. Her leaving 3 years ago was heart wrenching but that was nothing compared to this week when she an legally tell me to get out of her life completely. I know she will do it. I have no legal recourse after this week. She will be an adult and can have me arrested for just wanting to talk to her or looking at her.
The kids are on their 5th week out of 6 of being at their father's house. They come back on the 31st of July and then we get ready for our trip to Florida. Allen has football practice and won't be coming with the rest of us. We'll miss him because we want him with us, but he has told me no, he'd rather be home. OK, whatever. His choice...
I had the great fortune this past week to have dinner with a blogger friend of mine in St. Louis. We have been talking for months and finally got together on Tuesday night. She is a mommy blogger. You can check out her site here...We had lots to talk about and look forward to doing it again really soon.
OK, it's late and my tummy is not feeling well all day so I am going to bed. Church will have to wait another week. I need to stay close to a bathroom, I think. FUN!!
I will update more frequently now since our Florida trip is almost here and there will be lots of pictures to share. Hope every one has been having a great summer. Let me know how you are. *hugs*
Til later!
My update is short and sweet! June was me sitting in front of my computer 20-21 hours a day getting things worked out for making videos and spending alot of time on Facebook's farmtown. July has been emotional getting my daughters video together for her 18th birthday which is now only 4 days away. Her leaving 3 years ago was heart wrenching but that was nothing compared to this week when she an legally tell me to get out of her life completely. I know she will do it. I have no legal recourse after this week. She will be an adult and can have me arrested for just wanting to talk to her or looking at her.
The kids are on their 5th week out of 6 of being at their father's house. They come back on the 31st of July and then we get ready for our trip to Florida. Allen has football practice and won't be coming with the rest of us. We'll miss him because we want him with us, but he has told me no, he'd rather be home. OK, whatever. His choice...
I had the great fortune this past week to have dinner with a blogger friend of mine in St. Louis. We have been talking for months and finally got together on Tuesday night. She is a mommy blogger. You can check out her site here...We had lots to talk about and look forward to doing it again really soon.
OK, it's late and my tummy is not feeling well all day so I am going to bed. Church will have to wait another week. I need to stay close to a bathroom, I think. FUN!!
I will update more frequently now since our Florida trip is almost here and there will be lots of pictures to share. Hope every one has been having a great summer. Let me know how you are. *hugs*
Til later!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tag????? Oh No, I'm It.
Here is a game....Dedicated to Financial Freedom tagged me and now it's your turn...
So here are the rules:
Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post
Share seven facts about yourself in the post
Tag seven(or how many read your blog) by leaving their names and links to their blogs
Let them know they’ve been tagged.
7 interesting things about me:
1.) I love my kids to total desperation...all of them...even the cranky ones...
2.) My brain never stops thinking about one of my kids all day long.
3.) I love my computer/PDA and have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it.
4.) I am at heart a very lazy person in my opinion, but when I am watching tv or trying to relax, I am doing three different things in my head or walking around not watching and relaxing.
5.) I am quite happy driving 4 hours to my sisters house as long as I have my music cranking in my ears on th elaptop next to me and a cracked open window.
6.) I go absolutely crazy if my bank balance falls under $100.00. I need to have that cushion there to feel secure.
7.) I love my husband and yet sometimes I really don't understand why he does some of the things he does...I guess that's because he's a guy! The ultimate mystery!
OK, this is going to be hard to tag since almost no one reads it. If you have commented, you're tagged...
I am tagging....
All Doors Considered
Organized Doodles
Because Dandelions Are Pretty
The Anderson Clan
So here are the rules:
Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post
Share seven facts about yourself in the post
Tag seven(or how many read your blog) by leaving their names and links to their blogs
Let them know they’ve been tagged.
7 interesting things about me:
1.) I love my kids to total desperation...all of them...even the cranky ones...
2.) My brain never stops thinking about one of my kids all day long.
3.) I love my computer/PDA and have withdrawal symptoms when I am away from it.
4.) I am at heart a very lazy person in my opinion, but when I am watching tv or trying to relax, I am doing three different things in my head or walking around not watching and relaxing.
5.) I am quite happy driving 4 hours to my sisters house as long as I have my music cranking in my ears on th elaptop next to me and a cracked open window.
6.) I go absolutely crazy if my bank balance falls under $100.00. I need to have that cushion there to feel secure.
7.) I love my husband and yet sometimes I really don't understand why he does some of the things he does...I guess that's because he's a guy! The ultimate mystery!
OK, this is going to be hard to tag since almost no one reads it. If you have commented, you're tagged...
I am tagging....
All Doors Considered
Organized Doodles
Because Dandelions Are Pretty
The Anderson Clan
Friday, May 22, 2009
I have a high school graduate for a daughter!
Finally some time to post. Things have been very hectic and very busy here. I worked 24 days straight subbing and this is the first time in weeks I have been able to sit down for any amount of time and get any video stuff done. Jessica graduated high school last Saturday and it was a memorable trip I wanted to share with you. Hope you like it! This is a rough edit but I had to share anyway. There will be a better version hopefully in a few weeks....and a few other videos portraying her life thus far. ENJOY! That is my summer project!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Too much stress from life, family, and work..
I haven't updated here in awhile so I have decided to take a break from blogging. i can be easily reached via email, facebook, and Twitter. All those extensions are akbennett06.
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?
There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.
Til later...much later....LOL!
Suze Orman is on Twitter so I have been enjoying her tweets. She is enjoying tweeting and answering Qweets (questions) and in three days did over 1000 tweets. Awesome! I love reading them and learning too. She answered 4 different times for me so I think that I am star struck just a little. Who better to talk to about the financial crisis we are in today?
There is a lot of upheaval in my personal life too so that is not helping my stress level any. After school gets out, May 29th, I'll post and update on what has been happening. I am sorry about this but I feel guilty just leaving it open without an explanation. I'll be back, just can't do it right now.
Til later...much later....LOL!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Day by Day...
I wake up in the morning, I go to the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and think about what kind of day I am going to have. If I think that I am going to have a bad day, something usually happens to make my prediction wrong, or not as bad as I think it will be.
Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.
Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*
I have to get ready for work now.
Til later....
Yesterday was perfect because I went to Arielle's school as the substitute secretary and I absolutely had the best time of my life. Work was ok, but the hugs and kisses and smiles I got from my daughter and her friends were priceless. Plus the staff luncheon was held and was catered in so the food was awesome and I got to participate in it. She came in before and after recesses, before and after lunch, and she sat with me after school before we went home. Her friends came in and were awesome. They knew I was her mom and then went back and reported to her what happened. She loved it too. I wish I could work there all the time...it was so much fun. Today I am a playground aide at an elementary school which is not the best job but I'll take it as we only have 27 more days of school. Then I have a very long 11 weeks where I am not working at all, (no prospects yet), and no money coming in.
Life is good and I am happy. I made some more contacts with friends over facebook so that makes me happy. I keep messing up my weekends so I don't have an opportunity to get online with my friends in Germany but know that you are missed and I think about you often. *hugs*
I have to get ready for work now.
Til later....
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