Making Plans for this Trip.....*happily giggles*

OK, saving money is always a concern, I mean, it is Florida and at a high priced resort......so we are driving instead of flying...

We are still unsure of when to go but we are fairly certain that we want the kids to go with us.

It is a two bedroom villa with a kitchenette and much more but I am not sure what else.

Plans for being there:

Horseback riding (us)
beach (us)
sunset watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
sunrise watching (me, and whoever else wants to)
golf (Chuck)
swimming (us)
parasailing (I want to so badly)
mini golf (us)
shopping (us)
gathering shells (us)
staying far away from jelly fish (us)
video tape all (me)
taking pictures (us)
making memories (us)
enjoy the time together (us)
relaxing (us)

We'll see what happens....

Til later...

I WON THE TRIP!!!!!

6 day/5 night trip to Florida! Grand prize! I don't have many details yet but I am sure they will be in my hands within the next week! YAY!!!! Between hyperventilating and have a mild heart attack, I am fine with this news! I am off to dinner at church! Later!

Thursday update...

I must go through phases because I am not as obsessed with facebook as I was a month ago. Hubby is. It's fun, but I can basically scan the page at the end of the day and not really care what happened when I was gone. I have worked every day this week. I took off today because I needed to make some contact with public relations people that I have to do on business hours. That is now done. I have to email them my contact information but that's a no brainer. I work half day tomorrow so I will do it then.

I am still anxiously awaiting the drawing results. Manic is taking her sweet time with it, but I am sure that it will be posted by midnight tonight! I'll let you know.

This weekend is payday and I am ahead of the game because I have worked so much. I can put money into savings and have it when those annual bills are due in June.

We have a party at church tonight so I am happy to not have to cook.

Boring me, sorry.... Can you tell I am not really thrilled with life right now??

Til later!

Another day....

Today is Monday. Everything I type seems to sound stupid the minute I write it so I guess this is going to be short. I am working a lot so that makes me happy. I went to pick up a couple of items from a store today and I left depressed and sad. I wanted to buy something and I couldn't. I could have easily put it on my credit card but I didn't and I left with the items that I had bought in the beginning.

I know I made the right choice but I could kick myself for the stupid reckless decisions that I am now paying for. Live and learn and try not to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes I really hate life!

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Another chance to either get it right or totally screw up the life you are living now. We'll see what happens.

Til later....the drawing for the blood donation contest is Thursday...maybe later....I really ould use a gift card filled with cash!

Florida would also be nice but cash is king and that is what I am hoping for.

I feel so good tonight...

I have my music in my ears, and lightheartedness in my heart, it feels wonderful! I worked today and I see bright days ahead....until the bottome falls out from under me, but until then, I am gonna ride this wave of love and warmth and whatever else I can take in.

Does anyone have a cheap, good video editing program to use for making a movie??? I need it to make my project come together....

I got my hair cut today and I really feel young, beautiful and not at all my age!

My two best friends in the world both have a birthday today. And get this, they were both born in 1971. One lives in Utah and the other one lives in Colorado. I talked to them both today and it was a real treat talking to them for awhile. They make me feel loved too so that is great. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, girls! I love you both to pieces!

I'm gonna spend some more time online and then I am taking my butt to bed.....

Til later!

YAY! MARCH IS HERE!!!!

I love March, you know why??? Because in March, spring arrives! I have never been so happy to see a change in season as I am about this one. When someone asks you what season you like best, I usually say both spring and fall but now I am going to rethink that answer. I love spring, but I have a new reason why that never dawned on me before....It's the beginning of warm weather! I hate the cold and this year has been the worst for that in my book. I hate snow, cold, and starting my car in the early morning to warm up so I don't freeze to death driving the kids to school or me to work. Spring has sprung at my house. The daffodils are popping and this year I am actually going to get some flowers instead of just the leaves. I love flowers of spring, the smell of lilacs in the yard, seeing all the yellow blossoms in the yard. My tulips are popping out too. I just love it! I'll have yellow daffodils, red tulips, and purple lilacs. Great color for spring!

We started March off right...I woke up early...yeah, like 4:30am early. Got on the computer and saw a nice man whom I have known for years, joined me on facebook, as well as another good friend of mine. COOL BEANS! Two in March....YAY!

I looked over the bills for February and I hit a milestone. More down debt and none up! YAY for me again!

Here is the trouble! I have a wanting that I can not seem to get out of my head. It'll cost me about $300 to get all I want. I could buy it in parts, say $30 a month...do I want to do that though??? I am in such a quandry....

A big thing happening this month is that my best friend is coming to town for a couple of days. She lives in Utah and she is here on her college spring break. We need to spend some time together and talk. We have lots to discuss and catch up on. I want to spend some time with her alone, to vent, talk about life, and just share in her company. It's been a long time since we were together and a lot of things have changed between us. I'm excited about her being here and also scared of what may hold on this trip.

March also holds a great thing, more days in a paycheck! I could realistically work 5 days a week for three weeks straight. That hasn't happened in a while considering school snow days, institute days, holiday weeks, it's a wonder I get any money in a paycheck to begin with. I definitely look forward to the long weeks and the possibility of working full days. I can't wait!

Another wonderful thing about the start of March is the Blood drive contest is over and Manic over at Manic Mommy will be choosing winners of those prizes, one of them being a trip to Florida. I so need one of those prizes!

Well, I need to get ready for church but will be back when I find out if I won anything from the drawing!

Til later!

Update on the week...

It's been a good week, busy and that is what made it good. It made up for the sickie week we had last week.

I worked Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Friday(tomorrow). Three of those days was at the high school so I was very happy with that. I love it there and that is where I have the most friends and the most fun.

Tomorrow is payday which is always good since we cut it close this month in terms of using the credit card. Actually I did, but I am paying it off in full tomorrow so it really does not count. It earns cash rewards and it's balance is almost to the point to where I can get a certificate so I have to use it to get to that point. The paychecks landed at the wrong times of the month in February to make paying cash for every thing nearly impossible. Bills are due tomorrow but the pay does not go in until 12 HOURS after the bill is due! How stupid is that? That's my excuse for using the credit and I am sticking to it! :)

I got gas at $1.77/gallon last night and today it popped up to $1.99/gallon so that made me laugh today!

I had a weird dream last night that gave me an incredible craving for something that I am not able to have right now so I have to live without it for now! Someday I'll be able to make the dream come true! Don't have the money for it right now, but some day!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend. I am going to spend some time online and hopefully speaking to a couple of friends who I have been neglecting, not on purpose, but with making life priority. Talk to you soon!

Til later!

Another year older...wiser...nah!

How did I spend my birthday? The same way I spent the next 2 days after that. Stuck at home with sick kids. Allen and Arielle both were sick so I stayed home from work and took care of them. I worked a total of 7 hours that whole week so this week, I have made up for it by working yesterday and today at schools. Yesterday I was lucky to work in the morning and when I was working that shift, they called me to work in another school for the afternoon so that was a extra good thing. Today I worked at a school of 5th and 6th graders. It was a long day with a tornado drill and spring pictures interrupting the day schedule. I was wiping sweat off my brow as I waved them good bye.

Arielle and Allen are feeling better. I can't wait until spring. I am so sick of a cold car in the morning and a cold car at night if I have to go somewhere. and sick kids too...

Not much to tell anymore. It's been a work day and I am tired. I made meatball subs for dinner and I need to catch up on my watching shows that I taped the previous days. I am going to the library more often and checking out books, audio books and movies that I have not seen in awhile. Cheap and fun...that is my life right now. I have to save as much money as possible to make it through the summer months. Oh, I found out today they are eliminating a ed. asst job at the school I was at today and they are also laying off a couple of teachers positions for the upcoming school year. Yeah, great news for my employer...NOT! Pray that it gets better. Only God can help us now because the idiots in (insert place of idiot domain) are not doing anything to help it.

There is my rant for tonight. Time for bed. Love you! (You know who you are:) )

Til later!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Goes to show you, no one can stop the hands of time to make a day special. I am up at 3:14am because Arielle was in bed with us and started hacking up a lung coughing so I made her get into her own bed. Gave her medicine and I can still hear her coughing but now it's becoming less frequent so it's either the medicine is kicking in or she is falling asleep. Either one is a nice sound right now. UGH!


I went to my email to see if I got any birthday wishes from my facebook account. I have the account set up so if any one posts onto my "wall", I get an email from it. I had one. This goofy, lovely former boyfriend of mine, who is now famous in Hollywood, sent me a dear message. I love him. He is so funny and makes my day when he responds to something I have written him. He and I had a fling when I was a senior in high school. He is three years older than me but has never married and at times, I wish I had never let him go. We had some great times together. He is a dear friend who I would love to live closer to...

Well, let's see, it's my birthday. I am 38 years old. For the past 6 months, I have felt like I was 38 years old. No difference, I did not like 37 for some reason. Odd number...maybe..? My goals for 38 are to not use my credit cards at all, not lose my son to my EX the way I did Jessi when she turned 14, and to get a full time position at the school district, and if not there, some place else so I can broaden my wings and fly. I also want to get back down to 140 pounds since the first stint of WW didn't get me there.

Thanks to all who have wished me a happy birthday and will wish me. I am a happy person. I like my life, don't love it right now but with the economy with it is right now, who can love life really?!?! I will love life when I am debt free, the wayward child is back in my life, and the hectics of life are just there, and not trying to bring me down at every turn. I hope I work today, I hope the kids are better today from their illnesses and I hope to have an awesome birthday cake to eat. Black Forest Cake. Made the cake last night, will assemble it today, and hopefully the first bite will be so delicious (I am sure) that I am happy to share with anyone who is around.

Till later!

A quick update while here....

Today (last night) Arielle was sick and threw up twice, once at 11pm and then again at 2am. I called in sick this morning at 6am. Arielle woke up at 7:20 all ready for school. Her favorite teacher was teaching and she was not going to miss that. I let her go. She said that her tummy felt better and she did not feel sick so I went against my better judgement and let her. Today I did bills and tallied up the money that we still have to go on for the remainder of the month. Not a pretty picture. I have $35 from income tax and my birthday money going into the checking account so it can cover a few loose checks I wrote to the school for stuff that they have yet to cash. It annoys me that they can hold a check for so freaking long while it screws with my budget. Anyway, that crisis is now averted.

I pick up Allen from band rehearsal and he comes stumbling into my car and says "drive home fast. I don't feel very good." OK.......
At home he throws up like Arielle did this morning and he is now curled up in bed sleeping. Neither one of them have a fever so it can't be ruled the flu by normal standards. Maybe a stomach bug. Arielle is fine now so maybe he can just throw up a couple times and be fine. I wish that scenario ....because........my......

BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!!!

I can't have sick kids on my birthday! It's just cruel! TO ME!!!!

Sickness ruined our vacation in June and at least once day over christmas break is always bad because of someone throwing up or something like that.....PITY PARTY FOR ME!

My birthday is the one day the entire year I splurge and do for myself. Every other day, 364 of them every single solitary year (365 for leap year) is for everyone else. This is my day. I am making a Black Forest Cake for myself. And if I have to eat it all by myself because everyone else is sick,then I will!

I went to the library today and borrowed a few DVD's that I like so that is a free gift to me. No money spent and all is good there.

Til later!

Friday Early Morning!

Woke up at 3:43am and couldn't get back to sleep.

Checked facebook, left messages, and read a few blogs.

Last night I made batter for valentines crepes for this morning. The kids are with their father this weekend so I will not have time to be with them. I bought a card for each and am making their favorite breakfast. I hope they enjoy it.

Hubby and I were discussing who was at fault for the economy and the mess of the government. He said it was the democrats and I disagreed. It's everyone's fault that we are in this mess. Republicans, democrats, and the whole world as a whole! We overspent, used credit to indulge and now we are paying for that in the present economy. Clear and simple! Being in a recession is our own fault. We have to take respnsibility and deal with it and learn from past mistakes. This country has been in crisis before and we'll dig ourselves out, eventually. But don't come to me and say one typical group is at fault for everything. It isn't true! I really and truly scare myself when I start to sound like my father.....*WHOA*

*stepping off soapbox*

I am in love with my library. I just found out last week that they rent movies out. I love this! It's an awesome service to those of you have missed older movies and wanted to see them...Truly a gift. There are also CDs available. I haven't gotten the list of those available but I will check into that later on next week.

Off to check on more things. It's almost 6am and I will have to get up and make those crepes pretty soon. I may get a phone call too to work so I have to get these things done in a timely fashion.

Til later!

Monday morning-

The week will go as this~

Monday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Tuesday-hope to work, dont know, work on DVD
Wednesday-work from noon til 3:45 at school.
Thursday-kids off school, Lisa coming over at 10:30am.
Friday-hope to work, kids at dads.for weekend... get paid, pay bills.
Weekend-hope for nice weather. Hope another set of DVDs come into the library.

Money Crunch Time

There is EX trouble in the air but I am trying to focus on the things I can help to change. He is forever in hate/revenge mode and I can't change that, so...onto....


Goals for February!

Did already~
phone card for Allen
valentines for Arielle


Still have to buy~
printer cartridges
white dress shirt for Allen
pay off DIS!
Arielle wants High School Musical 3


In reality, I am doing very well. I have a job, hubby has a job, and things are going well. paying off stuff I need to is fine, but I still need to stash more money for the summer when I am not working. I have to tell myself, things will be fine, it's still winter, months before summer. Lots of stuff could happen before that. I could be offered a job somewhere....making more than I did now or before.

Faith, Andi, have the faith that everything will work out and things will be fine.

Right!

Have a great Weekend! Nice weather in St. Louis today. Have to be near it today! YAY!

Give Blood, I just did!

Enter Manic Mommy's virtual blood drive for the chance to win a trip to Sandestin, Florida or other great prizes! I just did.




See how happy I am to have a needle draining blood from my body so another human being can use it at a local hospital? During the winter months, there are many calls for blood due to the low blood supply in hospitals. Won't you make a selfless effort to do this for someone else????? I tried four times in the past month to donate. I had two separate bouts of low iron (anemia) and one broken blood bus but I managed to just quickly find another bus in this area today so I said "ok, let's try this again." I learned how to eat better, increase my iron intake and made me learn a bit of patience. It's in God's time, not mine. I was almost in tears when he said that I was able to donate. Patience, and then try again.


Won't you help out?? Just email the picture of you donating blood to Stephanie before the end of February and you'll be entered in the contest to win prizes. The workers will gladly take the picture and it'll make a great memory. It'll be worth it even if you don't win a prize. Your blood will help a person in need, who may die without it.

Thank you!

The morning did not start out well...

I was up from 1am til hubby left for work at 4:30am and then work never called so when I did fall asleep, I slept until 7:42am. School starts at 8am. We hustled and bustled and got the kids to school on time. Good thing that I didn't have to go to work because I just was not ready.

Sleeping is not my forte lately. I think I have too many things on my mind to have an uninterrupted sleep. I dream the most stupid, irrational stuff and then it affects my sleep, and my daily these around the house.

I have an irrational fear of using my credit card now. I know that I can use only cash and make it through the month. I know that I have, in the past, used the cards to soothe my own needs and wants. I wanted to make 2009 different and I am glad this month is my birthday so I can not feel guilty about buying something for my birthday.

I am paying off a huge chunk of credit with the income tax refund. It's only $400 but it'll knock out a card in whole. That will be a world of difference in my month. Can I use that as a birthday present to myself? An envelope of cut up cards, yay! I can do that! OK, now I feel better!

Til later!

Happy February!

Three Things...

The entire month of January I did not use my credit card! YAY!!!
I used cash on everything and had money left over after the month.
My FICO scores are above 710, if I need them for some kind of credit!

It's only gonna get better with this trend.


Have a great week! Have fun in Florida!~

A second snow day!

It's a winter wonderland out there!



Hubby took the initiative and swept the front walk.



Pretty outside scenery!



My neighbors house and yard.



Look at the car! It's covered. I hope that hubby is nice and unburies it before I need it tomorrow for work.



Outside of my kitchen window.


We have about 6 inches and the kids are home today, as well as yesterday. It is melting off fast but the weather will freeze it again tonight. I hope that tomorrow it will fade some more. I hate cold weather. I am so wanting spring to get here!

Til later!

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....

Oh my gosh, I thought I had drama in my life but to hear the drama of some people's lives is just too far beyond even what I can imagine.

I worked today but there is a huge storm coming in so we do not know if there will be school tomorrow. I am scheduled to work in the afternoon so it'll be fine if there is school. I like having the extra money. It is extra money now since every penny I earn from today through Friday is beyond my budget and it will all go to extras I have been holding off on, like the printer cartridges that I need for the computer and the minutes for Allen's cell phone. The rest of it will pay off one more card in full and whatever is left over there will go into the escrow account.

I was really happy today doing the job at my son's school. I love it there and I really like the teachers. It would be such a dream come true if I worked there full time. I am going to sub until someone offers me a position. The hours are just great and the work is ok, and the headaches are few. This is what I want to do. I just need a wishing star or a fairy Godmother to grant me my wish. Or a great deal of patience....

We'll see what happens.

Til later!

I want my laptop back!

I am a very selfish person when it comes to computers in my house. I love it and consider them both mine. Yea, I'm weird that way. My laptop has been out of my house getting fixed for the past 2 weeks. I have to share the remaining computer with the family. I hate it! They naturally want on too but not when it's convenient for me. I can log on to my sites, have them on 4 different tabs, click back and forth all day long. That is my comfort zone, always being in touch with family, or friends at a ding of the ICQ or a blip from the facebook chatbox. I can be at the opposite side of the room and be comfortable that way. NO, now with only one computer at home, I have to share. I dont like sharing. And we all have seperate log in names so it takes a hard log off to log back in under a different name. Mine is totally inaccesible unless I kick them off first and log back on to mine, and that takes a good 9 minutes with a slow start up. I am out of touch, out of reach, and it bugs the heck out of me. I want my own ANDI laptop, that no one touches except for me. I can't afford an ANDI laptop because I was stupid and ran up credit cards and now I am in the mindset of "pay those off first before anything frivolous". Great, I created my own mess! And now I am paying for it. Life lesson learned and at what a price! ARGH!!!! I am praying that my laptop comes home fast before I lose my mind!

Arielle just woke up, tummy is fine, no more sickness, YEAH!! and I want to show her pictures I just found on a flash drive of last years birthdays and vacation.

Have a Happy Saturday!

Whoa! Didn't mean to stay away that long...

You know what they say about time moving faster the older you get. Since I got facebook, I post on there more and let that be my forum. I know a lot of stuff happened but for the life of me, I have no clue what. I cleaned drawers, bathroom closets, threw away a TON of trash, junk, and papers that were shredded.

I still have to do Arielle's room, the neverending cabinet of plastic tupperware and odd essentials that has to be sorted through. I have to clean out the fridge.

I worked Wednesday and yesterday and loved it and that was a good thing because last night Arielle woke me up screaming that her tummy hurt. She threw up at 5am and I called the schools and told them that neither one of us were going out today. So, I am catching up on bills, playing a bit with the girl and settling in for the weekend.

I went to Walmart yesterday and Aldis to get some essentials. I spent $15 at Walmart (a miracle by my usual standards) and only $23 at Aldis. Not bad for the last half of the month.

Anyway, OOpss...Arielle is mad at her DS video game again. She hates it, darn that game.. Stupid.. (I laugh...) Oh my baby is crying because her game made her lose...

My poor baby....Til later...!

Answer to the comments from previous...

I made this comment a huge long one so I figured I'd make a post out of it.

My brain had this rolling around in it....

I took the money out of the stash I have to pay my car registration. Had $78 in cash so I took the $20 and went to Aldis: (compare this to prices in your area)

2 gallons milk 2.79 each
3 white bread .79 each
rice cereal 2.19
chewable vitamins 2.99
12 large eggs 1.28
2 blocks cheese 1.99 each
bananas 1.37
Tax 1.25% .25

GRAND TOTAL 20.01


I'll write a check when I do the car at the end of the month. I have learned through hard times, to always have a buffer in checking account ($100.00). I absolutely hate getting into it because my luck, I'd forget something and it'd come up that month. Buffers are great, just as a coin jar is. My coins go to laundry which I also have to do today. That's only $2.50 and already stashed away.

My children do not get allowance. They want something to buy, I usually got it for them. It was the cheaper way for me. Sometimes they asked alot, other times they didn't. It all evened out. Naturally the boy is more expensive with all his electronic games but that is coming to a halt this year and every other year where I still have a debt to pay. There is no credit card so there is no money. That was not my thinking last year and the balances always stayed the same or went up. Not this year. I am going to see a big improvement in our debt status this year. If it kills me.

February should be a very good month in terms of money, three paychecks, my birthday, and income taxes are all coming. The income taxes won't be much, maybe a extra $100 or so, (Used to be $2,000) but it's more than we have now so I just have to be patient and wait 13 more days to get over this bad money spot.

I have not been in Walmart since January 3, and then I only bought cat food. I bought most of the weekly groceries at Aldis. I have $41 left on a walmart gift card but I know if I go in there, I'll walk in spending it on stuff I do not need. I'd not go over the gift card limit, but I'd buy stuff that is not essential to my life now. I can't risk that and my control in that store is in the "Eh, who cares? I'll pay for it next month" category. There is a sensor in that doorway that zaps my brain into the "I don't care" mode. It's crazy!

The kids are at their dads until Tuesday night. The holiday plus Tuesday, the teachers have an institute day. That is also Inaugeration Day and I am going to spend it avoiding all news covering the event. I am going to put on several pre taped shows and videos and watch the day away. I'll be glad when it's over! Then he can save this country and make it a better place to live. I would not want his job for all the money (lol) in the free world.

I am giving blood today, or should I say will try to give blood today. Last time i did this, I was anemic and they would not do it, so the past week I have been eating healthy, taking vitamins and making it so it'll work this time. If it happens, I'll post a picture.

I have to get some work done here but I wanted to post about the money situation and update. Have a great day!

I hate being a good girl!

I have banned myself from using any credit card and I am doing well but today is payday and I need groceries but I know that I need the money for bills and I can't use a credit card. I would see it as a total defeat of all my hard work. We only need milk, eggs, and milk, but we need it for 2 weeks and I also have to gas up my car before the next paycheck. It sucks! I hate being in debt! I hate being a slave to bills and I also hate that I feel like a total failure if I need a credit card to make it through a fricking weekend!

Don't know what I am going to do. Hoping I get inspired before hubby gets home.

YUCK! I hate bills! Guess I am going to squeeze out a $20 from somewhere...

My Mess!

This is my ongoing project....for about 2 years.

It consists of papers that have been thrown together and saved for another day when I was less busy than the day it was accumulated. Thus....the mess!

Boxes are labeled, and being sorted. Finally, the kids will have their won box to throw their own school work, achievements, papers, etc...into so it is not turning into clutter. Mine is too. I found that I have a ton of school supplies that I could have saved money from September. I always buy more than I need to there is a surplus for the remaining year. It will all be contained into one box for storage when we need something. My picture box is enormous and it's being added on. Found pictures from years past, "hey, that's where you have been hiding." That is my life right now, when I can squeeze that in between work, family, and life in general. I am normal because I am sure your house has a problem like this too. I am just letting people know on a blog. Hee Hee.

Have to go to work now. See you all later!

WORK....

Andi is happy!


Work is good. I worked at two different schools for 4 days and it felt really good. I called the district and got scheduled for Wednesday and Friday.

I have a feeling that if I do this long enough, I'll get noticed for the good job I do there and be hired on as a full time educational assistant. I am paying down debt and every month that I don't use credit, there is a less of a debt to deal with and more that I can snowball to the balance of said debt.

I know in this economy my subbing job is a blessing. There are people that get layed off that have absolutely no income to pay their bills. I feel so fortunate that I have this opportunity and am grateful that I have the skills that they need to help.

I have to get back to cleaning. Til later!

A hundred posts later....

Happy 101st blog post. I do like to write and express my opinions, don't I?

I have been going through pictures and I wanted to post a few that have gotten some notice on my facebook account.





These pictures are from 1990. I was married to my children's father and I was 6 weeks pregnant with Jessica, who is now 17 years old.


Another view of my face. I absolutely love my hair in these pictures. My hair does not behave that way anymore so I have had bad hair days for the past 17 years.

I have a few more I have to scan in where I am with the kids and I look exceptionally good and motherly so I will probably put those up later.

Now it is get ready for church time so I better scoot. Have a great day!

Saturday Plans...

Well, my laptop is at the "shop". It's really at a friends house hoping to either get fixed or have the data transferred to my external hard drive so it's not lost.

I worked three days this week and the classrooms I was in, were not bad at all. I like that kind of a week. It can be really good or really bad, to which I would not be willing to teach that class again. I'd do these again. I am happy subbing for now. I really am ready to work in the school district though. I want to work there full time because even though it's less money, I can fit it into my schedule with the kids and the money would be enough for us to pay down bills and bring in some extra cash so we could enjoy the summers too.

You know how you can look at your past and see the whopper mistakes you made? Well, I am seeing some of those and saying, "What was I thinking?" Time to be smart and not make those mistakes again.

Today is the usual, laundry and making sure we have stuff for this next week. Should be pretty standard weekend. Not going to spend too much money. Have to get gas in my car but that money is in the glove compartment so it's not eating into my budget. It is wonderful when a 20 dollar bill can fill up the gas tank for almost two weeks.

See you later....

Once again, I have computer problems....

My laptop crashed and that is my save all for my desktop. I have been organizing all my stuff to combine it all onto my external hard drive backup. Luckily, it is not clicking and it's not a blue screen of death. It just won't read the hard drive to start. It keeps popping circuits and jumping to the DVD drive to load. I just hate being without my laptop. It's the third new hard drive in it so it's time for a new computer but I do not have the money for it right now. I am at a point now where I am scared to death of using my credit cards and that is a good thing for me. It used to be way too easy and that is why I am in the mess I am in right now.

I have a friend who's business is compouters and he is getting the computer tomorrow night. Hopefully if he can't fix it, he can at least save the data off the drive.

I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS! I feel so helpless!

And I know this is a minor problem compared to death, medical, financial ruin, house being charcoaled, and job loss (been there), but right now, this is my crisis. I am grateful for that. I think!

Have a nice night. Gotta back up the desktop before I lose it too.

Update for Wednesday

I am working today. I am so happy becuase if I do not work, my bills cannot get paid and I realy do not like the idea of that. And it is at a school where I like it, so it's a double plus.

Last night was a bust in the blood drive endeavor. My blood came back iron low so I could not donate but I still implore those of you who can , to do it and turn a picture into Manic Mommy's site so you can be up for a trip to Florida and other prizes. I will try again to donate on the 17th, the next time there is a blood bus in myh area that I am willing to travel too. I am not driving to Springfield to donate. That bus will have to come here.

Time to go to work, so see you later...

I am giving blood today, are you able to?

My friend, Stephanie, over at Manic Mommy is hosting a contest. If you give blood between Jan 1-Feb 28, and send her a picture as proof, she will put your name in a drawing for a trip to Florida and a slew of other prizes. Click on her link and see what more there is to offer. I'll post my picture donating blood here after I get back tonight. Any questions you have can be answered by clicking on her link above. Thank you!

Save lives, donate blood.

Just an observation...

I love Haribo Gummi bears. I am from Germany and I grew up with them in Germany when we lived there and loved them in the States when we have them here. When I went to NYC in October, my dear friend surprised me with a couple bags of the original, German package of Gummi Bears. I am finding out that not all is the same in the Haribo German and it's relative American version.





Number 1 difference-they taste different. The American version all taste the same. The German ones each have their own distinct flavor, strawberry, apple, lemon, orange, pineapple, and raspberry.


The biggest and most annoying difference is the packaging and the amount in each package. Both have the same size bag. They each should hold the same ration of gummi bears. The German bag is noticeably fuller and on the bag it is labeled as 300g. You know what the American bag has in it? 5 oz. a piddly, measly, pitiful amount of 142g.

What am I going to do about it? What can we, as consumers do about this miscarriage of justice?????? Are we going to let this company reduce the amount of gummi bears in an average size package???? To suit their own selfish wants for a decent profit margin???? Hearing those children crying out to their mommies, "I want more gummi bears!" "Sorry, honey, they only had 60 in the bag." "WAAHHHHHHHH!" The question remains, what can you buy with .02 these days? 1 GUMMI BEAR!

I am blogging about this unfair practice, maybe this will get some word out. It's sad that the world is so today that the consumers that love an age old product has to be ripped off in their love to acquire the great taste of an original gummi bear!

*This blog post was written, and posted by Andi Bennett, lover of the Original Gummi Bear. Spamming, criticism, and offering of other sweets and candies to calm her down is strictly prohibited* Thank you...

Saying I Want to Live By...

At some point in our lives,
we will have struggles and
we will face adversity.
That's what being
a human is all about.
The key is not focusing on
what you're going through,
but how you are going to get through it.
Make a decision and act on that decision.
(taken from Oprah Show)

2008 was not bad, it was actually pretty good. I graduated from college. How many people can say that? I am working towards working in my field. I can't count on 2 hands how many people I know that have a degree in one subject and yet, have a job in a totally different field. It's crazy...

This year I am going to concentrate my hardest to do what I need to make me and my family have a good year, and what happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a plan, even if we don't see the plan until long after the hardship is over.

Have a great week!

Finding Treasures in the Strangest Places

I had a pile of CDs and DVDs with no labels and no way of knowing what they were. Tonight I put them all together in a big pile and started to check the directories to label them correctly! I found some true treasures. I don't always backup my stuff but I found tonight one treasure that I am so glad that I did. I have Jessi on video from back in 2005 when I was a host family while our local high school was having a National Honor Society Conference. It was about three weeks before my wedding to Hubby and I was crazy to do it, but it worked out and we all had fun! I have the video and pictures to prove it. Arielle was so cute in the videos too. We did a clapping game and a cup slamming game that I video taped. It was so cool to watch that tonight. Brings back awesme memories. Jessi had a blast! She was smiling and laughing and having a wonderful time! I haven't seen her like that in years. Makes me cry to watch it but I also will keep that CD sacred because of the precious memories that it holds.

Now I can go to bed knowing that I have one more memory on film that I can bring up any time.

Night all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Things I will do more of this year...(in no particular order)

work
read
play
save
organize
smile
blog
chat
befriend
love
clean

Things I will do less of this year...(also in no particular order)

eat
yell
frown
growl
scream
vent
blame
judge
spend
complain
hate


Yup, sounds about good.

What are you going to do this year???

One Last Post Before 2009!

It's only a few hours before 2009 and I figure one more post would do.

It's been an amazing year, with ups, downs, new friends made, searching out old friends and becoming reaquainted, and making some adventurous trips around this great nation of ours.

I don't really regret any of it, the good or the bad, because I have grown and learned from all the actions that I have made and been through.

The reason I started blogging in the first place a few years ago is because I was obsessive about getting out of debt. I changed it to a family blog when I felt guilty for not suceeding in that endeavor in the time I had allotted for myself. I am still in a great deal amount of debt and my job dealings are not looking so great despite having a degree. The economy is all making us suffer right now and my life is certainly no exception. This blog will continue to be about me and the family and everything I happen to want to write about. It's my journal to cheer, vent, scream, and to let out my emotions, which thankfully do have thier ups too.

As I live this life that Heavenly Father gave me, I will continue to strive to do my best and learn along the way. I know it won't be boring, not for me anyway. Hope it isn't for you either.....

Thanks and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Gosh, I needed this vacation!

You have no idea how much I needed this for my psyche. I have slept in, not "had" to do anything and it's been wonderful! If I have a plan, and it does not get done, I do it the next day. I am not pressuring myself. It's 9:13am and the family is still asleep. It's going to be unseasonably warm today and tomorrow so I am going to go for my 3 mile walk these two days. I put on pounds again and I want to get back into some kind of fitness routine so I can maintain my weight. Yeah, that sounds like an new years resolution. Nah, I don't keep those, it's just a wishful goal for the coming months.

I am happy to report that Christmas was a success. All the presents were well received and that is my biggest worry at Christmas. Arielle loves her easy bake oven, her DS, and our MP3 player. She and I are sharing one. Allen loves his new 360 games and can't stop texting on his new phone. Hubby smells great due to the new cologne I bought him and he is enjoying downloading mp3's from the internet so he can listen to his favorite music on his new MP3 player. He also needs to watch his new DVD I got him.

I am totally addicted to facebook.com. I have found some friends from my childhood that I never imagined that I would ever talk to again. Our neighbors in Maryland, (1978-1986) now have facebook because of me. Well, at least the mom does. Her 3 daughters and me and my brother used to play endlessly back in those days. The memories are just so vivid when you relive them with people lost before.

Well, the family is still asleep so I better get some things done before they wreck my momentum.

Have a great day and week.

Progress..

Allen's room is more organized than it was before which is a huge improvement from what it was. You had to step over stuff just to get to his bed. It was awful! His clothes are hung up, his piano is set up on a table and he can actually pactice his music.

Arielle helped with her room. It was not bad to begin with, tackled that mess a few months ago and she has held it up pretty well. Clothes are put away so that is the biggest hurdle in that room.

I was going to take down the tree but I never got to it. Maybe tonight after church. The living room couch has been cleaned and deodorized and the floors have been swept and cleaned.

I went to the laundromat again because of the excess clothes, sheets, blankets, needed to be cleaned. They all smell nice and fresh again.

Today I will hopefully tackle the tree, refrigerator, kitchen, and make and serve dinner before 7pm.

The family got MP3's players for christmas. It isn't an IPOD but I am very impressed with what it does. I am learning about it and ripping CD's so we can all have our favorite music, pictures, and videos with us where ever we go.

I also delivered cookies and treats to neighbors, friends and loved ones. It's always better to give than to receive. Warms the soul when you see the people happy with what you brought.


Toodles...

The Day After Christmas

They are still sleeping, the hubby and kids,
While mommy sneaks to the computer to get her daily, hourly fix.
Christmas is done, and while it was fun,
There is still so much work to be done

Cleaning bedrooms, sweeping up dirt,
Family must help, or mommy's back will hurt,
So many things we must do and not say
Weather is crazy it's 64 degrees in Illinois today!

Life can be good, smiling faces in the house,
We'll call for the cats, if we see a mouse.
Look forward to new, get rid of the old,
The best stories ever read are happy endings told.

Make this new year, 2009, your best ever!

Why??? Because I said so!

Merry Christmas!

I am up, hubby is still sleeping and the kids are at their fathers until tonight at 10pm. We'll open all the presents then.

We had a wonderful time with the family this week, and makes me want them all to live closer so we can do it more often. The kids played nicely and the food was excellent and the laughter from stories and watching the new baby was contagious. We did have a few sicknesses that brought down a few family members but yesterday, the house was full with everyone (except my hubby, who had to work) for a musical recital from some very talented family members and the Christmas Story being read out of the Bible before the family got to open presents. The kids, all 17 of them, loved it. They all got the present they had asked "Santa" for. And the adults were pleasantly surprised with their exchange gifts too.

Today we are eating with family again and I have to get my part going. I'll probably post later tonight or tomorrow with the gift tally for the kids.

Hope your day goes well and stay safe. Half of the United States is having a white Christmas! Some of you may grumble by that news but it is Christmas and winter after all. Love to ALL!!!

Week of Family

My hubby's family got into town this weekend and we spent all day with them on Sunday. We went to church and then went to oldest sister's house and ate, chit chatted for hours, and had lots of family bonding time. We're doing it again today. I appointed myself the photographer of our newest addition to the family who was born this month. She is so adorable and I got some cute pictures of her as she was being held by members of the family. Her parents have a blog and I'll give them copies of the pictures and then I'll link them to this site.

This whole week is family oriented (this week should be, it's Christmas) so I'll not be around so much. I'll update after the presents have been opened. Have a great week, Happy Birthday Kate, and have an enjoyable and safe holiday.

We'll see you all later...

It's a week til Christmas.,,,

I have to wrap and bake cookies but that is about all I still have to do to get ready for the holiday. The kids are going to be at thier dads this weekend so I can get that stuff done. Hubby's family is coming into town this weekend also. All the cousins will be here, all 25+ family members are converging in on Illinois to celebrate the first granddaughter of the oldest sister on his side. Plus Mom and Dad are getting up in years and the whole family being together means pictures.

Arielle and I went to the mall last night to see Santa. It's probably her last year for pictures with Santa. For one 3x5 and two keychains, it cost $17.00. They have a standing rule that no personal pictures are allowed to be taken so I bit the bullet and bought the cheapest package. In 12 years when she graduates high school, and leaves home, I know I'll look at that picture and remember the smile and the fun time we had that day. The money won't matter and it really shouldn't matter now. I am just glad that technology has grown and now there are scanners, digital photography and the delete button for those stupid pictures that got developed and paid for so many years ago. Who can forget the pictures that were blurry, dark, too far away, off shot, red eye, or just plain goofy! And we paid for them to be developed. Talk about wasted money! So, paying $17 at the mall for a Santa picture in 2008 is not that bad after all.

I found a new addiction. It's called Facebook.com. I know some of you have heard of it. I have found people who I lived by and grown up with. People from my past that I never thought I would talk to again. If they have a facebook account, they can be found. And most are happy to talk. I found a lot of my past friends from high school, I have 2 former boyfriends on there that are doing very well in thier life. I have friends that live 2 miles down the road that I keep in contact with over facebook better than I can in real life or over a phone line. Life is just too busy sometimes but facebook is available 24/7 where as if you call someone at 1:38am, they'd be a little ticked at you for waking them up. 2 out of 3 friends from my NYC trip are on Facebook. Little snippets of life are displayed for friends to see and to keep in contact with. It is so cool! If you don't have one, it's also good for networking.

Well, today I guess, I am spending at home. I worked yesterday at a school but no phone call yet today so it may not happen. I have been called for work later than this, but it's rare. So, I will enjoy the day, stay indoors since it is 20* outside and get some work done around here.

Hope you all have a great day! Talk to you later!

Jumbled rambling....

We had power all day long....and we had a pretty good day overall. That was the good news. We have another scattering of storm to get through tonight and then...maybe clear skies in a few days.

I still have to tell my sons band director about the peed on band uniform. Oh, I am going to hate having that conversation.

I spent the day cooking...all kinds of food, tapioca pudding for son, zucchini and eggs for whoever wants to eat it, a strawberry compote that I put into the tapioca. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. I am going to make a couple of chocolate desserts for the pre-Christmas party. My ex made chocolate covered peanut butter filled ritz crackers while we were married and I always liked them. I still like them but out of stupidity, I just couldn't dare to eat them. But this year I bought the ingredients so I could make them. I also have the fixins to make a whipped creme dessert of some kind. I want to bake and cook and I really have the cravings now to do it.

I also finished writing the Christmas letter and I got the cards ready to be mailed out tomorrow. Talked to my mom and sister today and my father yesterday. I played a board game with the girl and she was happy about it. We have a decorated Christmas tree in the front room. The living room is clean. Laundry is folded.
While I was finding Christmas decorations I came across some stuff from my daughter, Jessi. I found videos that I had lost for awhile. They were back when she was a baby, her first and second birthday parties. It was good and bad to watch them. I am so glad that we took the videos and that I can now watch them but I would love it if she came here to the house so we could watch them together with her brother and sister and step father. I have to get those taped transferred to DVD so I can edit them to a format that I can work with better. I miss her so much! The holidays make it so hard to let her go. I know she is doing well. Her step mother and I had a long talk the other night about her. I found out that she has been accepted to a few colleges but she doesn't yet know where she is going or if she'll even be able to go. Money is the biggest obstacle there, as it always is.

I still have a list of stuff I have to do but the list is getting shorter. That makes me feel good. Maybe I can survive this holiday yet. Maybe not...we'll see.

Have a good night.

Lovely DAY!

I wake-up this morning to no power for an hour. Lovely #1.

My cats peed on my son's band uniform. That'll cost me my deposit. Sorry, Mr. Band director, can you dry clean Bubba's uniform, cats decided it was a litter box...Lovely #2.

My clothes from last night were never put in the dryer to dry. Hubby did his first and didn't bother to put mine in. Lovely #3.

Now that the power is back on, I wonder for how long since the wind has picked up immensely and will knock it out again, plus the ice storm hasn't even it yet. When is the question. Lovely #4.

The cell phone is being charged to full power as we speak so it'll be ready for when I do need it.

I HATE WINTER!

Can't wait until April when the threat of snow and ice aren't near as bad!

I'll post after the disaster is over... Be safe!

This truly is NOT working...

I went on with my normal Saturday errands. Weight Watchers was my first stop. IN the past 2 weeks, I have gained 5 pounds of my loss back. WHAT!!! OK, stress over work has been hard but I should still be losing, instead of gaining a freaking bag of flour back. I'll figure that one out this week with a new tracking food system that we learned today at the meeting.

Second item of business: laundry, at a stinking laundromat. I had to do three loads (son, daughter, mine) today and most of it was towels. With me not working as much, I need less clothes to wear because I leave the house less to do stuff, thus less showering, (day and a half), if I am going to stay in pjs all day. I washed 14 towels in a week. That is not the norm. Usual is 9 or 10, not 14.

There is a huge storm (ice storm) coming into the area Sunday evening/night. They are expecting ice and snow into Monday morning and then all day Monday which will make Tuesday a mess on the streets. This is the good thing about not having that other job. With subbing, I can choose if I want to work this day or that so I have already told the switchboard that I was not coming in Monday or Tuesday. If the weather is bad, there may not be any school anyway. Yeah for all of us because then I don't have to wake up hubby so he can take kids to school. Because if they are having school on Monday, my car won't move from the driveway anyway. I hate the weather that they are forecasting!

My last errand for the day: Weekly groceries. Milk, eggs, bread. There is a ton of food in the freezer that I can make meals from so we'll be alright there. I still have to get local Christmas cards in the mail so they can be delivered. I am saving wrapping until next weekend since the kids will be with thier father for a few days.

Things to do at home today/tomorrow:Put up Christmas decorations. We have to clean up the collection of a mess that has been transferred from room to room and finally do something with it; be it put away, trash or take to Goodwill. This chore has to be done this weekend.

I hope all your weekend ends up safe and let's pray that our area does not suffer too harshly from the storm that is about to hit!

Little Miracles...

We have a newest family member. My niece had a baby and she was born on Tuesday and Mommy and Daddy are so happy that she is finally here. Makes this Christmas fun for the family. I can't wait to hold her, and then give her back when she cries.....LOL!

Congratulations! We love you and the newest little one too.

Christmas Shopping is Done!

EDITED::::See below....

With the job loss, the Christmas budget went down drastically but we still wanted it to be nice so we went quality gifts rather than quantity gifts. The tree will be bare this year because the gifts are smaller but pricier. We'd be better off putting up our 3 foot tree. The presents would fit nice and it would look like a lot. Oh, it's going to be so pathetic this year. But, the situation being what it is, there really is no other choice. Maybe, hopefully, next year it'll be better.

Working has been sporadic at best but I hope that after the new year, it'll pick up a bit. I like being back in the schools and I like getting to see friends that I had made before Arielle was born. Most of the school district had renovations done to their schools so it's like I am walking into new schools and I dont' know where anything is anymore. It's exciting.

I am reading two books right now that I bought for my trip to NYC that I never even cracked the spine to. With the extra time off, hopefully I'll read these and I am also doing some more sorting through stuff (an endless task).

Hoping your week goes well.


Edited to Add: I just had a brilliant thought on how to add to the presents to the tree. I have been nickled and dimed all year with "I want"s and "please give me"s all year long. I am going to get all those "presents" and wrap them up again. They received them during the year but they would have made awesome Christmas gifts so that's what they will be. That requires more wrapping for me but I am the only one to know whats in them so it'll be a bigger surprise when they open them up again. *tricky little Mommy*.....I feel better now...

Gotta go where you are needed...

I didn't even get out of bed this morning until the phone rang. I figured that I hadn't been called in three days and I had gotten up and waited so I just dozed after my alarm went off. The phone rang at around 6:19am for a school opportunity. It wasn't the greatest but I had to because my Christmas budget was not stretching big enough to put it all in. I dreaded going to work and it was ok for awhile but as the day crawled endlessly on, I just wanted it over. I made the money today but I won't be going to that classroom again. I like the older classes better. Give me a middle school or high school and I like it much better.

It's now the weekend and I am relaxing again. I have to do laundry, do some shopping for next week, and go through some more stuff around the house. Right now I am waiting for a friend online so I can veg out a bit. I am also reading some more books that I have put off.

Have a great weekend and have fun at whatever you are doing.

The Benefits of A Vacation

Everyone always asks "When is vacation, I need a vacation." In my life, vacation means a trip somewhere with kids, luggage, lots and lots of driving in a car, hotels, fast food, and watching the money disappear from the vacation fund or adding debt to a credit card that will take years to pay off. Not a pretty sight in my eyes anymore.

I just had a weeks vacation and it didn't cost me a dime. My vacation consisted of waking up at my usual time, everyone else sleeping, me getting some alone time on the computer, reading a few things that I had tossed aside for another time, making breakfast for the kids, getting them off to school, and then laying around, doing what I wanted to, if that meant doing dishes in the sink, picking up the clothes in the bedrooms, or just watching tv in my bed. No must do's, no rushing to get somewhere...none of the hustle and bustle that stresses people out so much. It was a nice week.

Yesterday I went through pictures. Years of pictures in no order whatsoever. A picture of me, at 5yrs old was in the same stack as a 1998 Christmas picture of the kids. I'll fix that mess over the next month.

I have now determined that I will work part time for now while the kids are still at home. There is time for me to work after they leave the house. Life is better at home now and my brain isn't near as stressed as it was and has been the past month. Thank goodness that I figured it out soon enough. I was going crazy! Now I know it was just having to step back and reanalyzing how my life was being handled and I am much happier now.

Have a great day!

Renewing Past Friendships, Time Passes By...

I lived in Maryland for 8 years. I moved there when I was 7 and moved away at 15 so I had my formative, skillbuilding, teenage heartache years there. I had my worst years of life in those 8 years but I have also learned that I want to go back and see what I missed in those chaotic years.

I called a past neighbor friend of the family last night. She was shocked to hear from me. The last time we spoke was probably 10 years ago. Kids have grown and moved out, health has declined, parents have died, divorces run amok; so many things to catch up on.

I was totally blown away by the news that a good friend I used to dance on the couch with to FAME records and my ex-boyfriend married and now have 3 kids. WOW!!!!

Time does tick on. Why does it shock us so much? Why are we shocked that life hands us bad things to deal with and we are shocked that our children act like devils in their teenage years. It should not shock us at all. It's happened for millions of years. Adam and Eve had the same problems with their kids. One son killing another son would be a cause of hysterics in my home too. It'll keep going until the Earth doesn't exist anymore. Time ticks...bringing good or bad...it still ticks...

Have a great day!

Getting Life In Order...

I love the new gadgets they have to personalize your website. Makes it comfy and homey and yours. I added the calendar to basically keep track online of what is happening in my life. I was called into work at a school for this afternoon so that's good. My last paycheck at the old job came today and it was bigger than expected so the extra has already been transferred into savings. I was going to put it towards Christmas but the kids are already getting decent presents so it'll go to something later, if needed. We should always have a stash of savings anyway for emergencies so that pot is a little bigger now.

Have a great day, everyone.

Busy Weekend...

..but it's been an enjoyable one.

I am embracing this new life I want to take hold of. We spent the whole day Friday at home, never got dressed either. Stayed in my pjs all day long. After hubby went to work, I got the strength and energy to exchange our broken TV in the bedroom with my son's in his room that he never uses anyway. Our TV blew out one of it's color tubes so we were watching orange,blue, and some awkward color tv, never true color. After watching tv like that for 4 months, I finally got it changed out. We went from a 35 inch to a 19 inch but it's worth it to watch something on tv in real color instead of the way we were before. Not sure if the bruises were worth it though. LIfting a tv by myself on my thighs may not have been the smartest move but I'll deal with it. My thighs now have bruises all the way across them and they are tender to the touch and walking is a major feat in the morning. Live and learn....

Saturday Arielle and I went to Weight Watchers, bought some office supplies at Office Max, ate breakfast at Mc'ds, saw the movie Twilight(awesome movie), and then came home. I went to the laundromat and did three loads of laundry, got gas, went to Aldis and bought milk, and then came home again. I went into the basement and searched through dozens of pictures only to realize that my little project of organizing stuff in the basement was going to take a whole lot of time and patience. There is so much clutter(17 years of kids papers from school, pictures, etc...) that I have accumulated in the past 20 years...It's going to be a MAJOR undertaking to get that done.

Tomorrow is December. We woke up this morning to snow. Not heavy sticky stuff but the cars were covered in white....ugh...I hate winter....give me the other three seasons any day over winter....

Tomorrow is December. The first day of the week is the first day of the new month. Perfect launching off point to a new streamlined household budget, a new way of living, and a new outlook on the future. We'll see how this fares....

Till later!

Guess who is NOT shopping Black Friday???

I will be in my basement sorting through old pictures, and memories from years past. One thing my job did teach me is a new filing system that I want to incorporate into my household clutter. I'll have Arielle help me since I know she likes seeing pictures of herself and I have stuff down there from Jessi and Allen from when they were little. I know she'll love seeing those things. I may cry seeing all of it but when it's organized and looking better than a container full of scribbled on papers, it'll make me happy that I do have these memories still intact.

Hope that everyone's Thanksgiving was a nice holiday. We spent time with family so it was nice. Arielle and I cuddled in bed after coming home and watched Nim's Island. Good kid movie, love Jodie Foster and Abigail Breslin. I fell asleep from 7pm -about 1:30am. Figures that is why I am up at 3am writing in my blog. LOL!

If I find any earth shattering memories (pictures), I'll scan them and maybe make a little memory page. We'll see.

Don't spend too much tomorrow. Our Christmas is going to be bare bones this year...gotta pay down debt and not use those nasty credit cards. I'm aiming to stick to that little "new life" goal...

Happy Day!

I'm unemployed....for 5 days...

and then I sub for the school district. I won't bore you with the details of my last day, but I left crying and I will miss a few select people. The rest of them...well, they can work at their job and not worry about me anymore.

Onwards and upwards!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am most thankful for the friends I have, the people I have met the past year, the lessons I have learned, and the trials that have taught me valuable things about myself that I did not know before.

Who else is shocked to realize that next week is December? *Seeing hands raised*. Yes, me too. Where did it go? I have gone shopping but my budget is considerabley smaller than last year and the economy is one of the reasons why. My angels will have one big present (already bought), 3-4 small ones and 2-3 will be clothes. Sorry guys, but this year it must be that way....

I already want January to be here. But with December starting on a Monday.. maybe I can pretend that it's the start of something new...yeah, that is what I am going to do. Monday, Dec 1 will be a new start....LOL!


Ask me again December 10 and see how I am progressing in my "new" life.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I'm not Bipolar! Am I? No, I'm not....

I just have bad days and good days. Saturday was a good day turned bad by a series of events that I won't go into and I went to bed crying. Today I woke up ok and then went to church and heard talks on gratitude and thankfulness and I felt better about my life and all it has in it. I saw friends that I love and they showed that they care about me too. It was nice so I came home content. Tonight I am trying to make up with a friend of mine who was caught on the bad side of my pity party yesterday and I want to apologize but Yahoo messenger is being stupid and her cell is off and I don't know if she is getting the messages I left her and UGH! Maddening!

I'm sorry, I love you and we'll work this out....

I spent 45 minutes talking to a cell phone tech guy trying to fix my voice mail. I finally got fed up but then just as I was about to hang up, he tried one more thing and it finally worked. Thank goodness. I had no caller ID, voicemail and I couldn't text anyone. Now it's fixed and I am so happy.

I have three more days that I have to get up and go to my place of employment. I have to get 9 client files ready. A couple of these clients have a crapload of documents that have to be taken care of after the appointment so by 1pm Monday, I will be so ready to get out of there. I also have to make and party on Wednesday while I clear out my desk and pack everything from my cubicle into my car. It's going to be a bad day! Plus on top of all that, my dear beloved sister is having heart surgery on Wednesday and I am scared to death for her. I can't lose my best friend in all this too. She and I have gotten so close. I'd hate to have anything happen to her.

So, to be fair and objective....I am not bipolar, just have a load of stuff in my life right now to deal with. No wonder my moods are up and down. I hate change and I have my fill of it coming up this week..

WISH ME LUCK!!!

Lazy Saturday....

I am basking in the limelight of my last week working at a firm that no more than three months ago was my ticket into a life long love of hard work, desire to help people and seeing the good in helping clients get the most out of their money. That dream is all but shattered. I was naive, stupid, and looking into a rose colored mirror.

It's funny how when we enter a period of our life thinking it is going to get us one thing and then time and life takes a hold and changes it into something nothing like you had imagined.

December 1st, I go back to a job that I have done on and off for 6 years. Back to the school district. Sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it but right now, it's all I have left to keep me afloat financially until another job opportunity comes along.

I have come to realize that working in a school environment is what I want to do. Probably high school age because most times I can still be found to look young enough to be mistaken for one of the students. Now, that is funny! I'm flipping 38 years old! Thanks to my parents who gave me young looking genes.

I'll apply to jobs after the year ends...When the retirees are leaving and jobs are open and maybe when the economy doesn't look so bleak!

Just another link in this twisted and crazy long chain I call life.

Til later...

Plans For The Weekend...

1.) Sleep
2.) Go to Weight Watchers
3.) Go back to sleep
4.) find a great sweet potato side dish recipe to take to the work potluck.
5.) Take an afternoon nap
6.)Do laundry
7.) Talk to a cople of friends online and go to bed early

Maybe if I sleep this weekend, I'll sleep this blasted cold away. Heavily medicated and full of knock out pills and Vicks on my chest maybe will kick it.

We'll see. At least now I can talk. Monday-Wednesday I had no voice or what was there, was froggy and hoarse and hurt to try and deliver. Now the cold is in my chest and kills me whenever I cough, which is alot and at the worst possible times. Breathing in and then chewing on a breastick and coughing does not mix! Hurts!

So, if you are by your computer, find me on facebook or IM me on yahoo or ICQ, or whatever.

Have a good evening. Til later...

Job Update

Well, my boss and I sat down yesterday morning to discuss the job situation. He said that the way the business was going, he needed to change a few things in his business life in order to see if he could do any better than he has done in the past 3 months, which is totaly lousy in the production area. So we decided that he would let me go but to make it easier on me, it'd be my decision, which I told him was fine and I'd write him a resignation letter. So I still need to get that done. End date of employment. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

How do I feel about this? Better. Ever since the announcement of this impending decision on November 4, there have been things happening in my life that I needed this change. Again. For a person who hates change, I am sure doing a lot of it these days. Things have fallen into place so that this is good for me.

I do have a job to do instead of this one. I called the school district and got reinstated as a sub so I am on the call list for Decmeber 1st. I don't miss a date in between and I can make almost 1/2 the income I made at the Financial firm. I cut down on expenses and will make it work. December and January are both good months for paychecks since both months have longer weeks. I get 7 paychecks in Dec aand 7 in January since 2 paychecks (hubby and Child support) are 26 weeks in the year. CS falls in December and hubby falls in January. I get my last paycheck from boss Dec 1 and I get my first paycheck from subbing in January. I should still be able to stash a substantial savings into a hidden account and let it sit for awhile. Even with Christmas around the corner (CRAP!) We'll still be ok.

I had a friend ask me to send him my resume. I told him that for now I was going to wait until Spring, I hate fighting snow and bad cold weather in my car and I now don't have to deal with that, not this year, anyway. If I sub at the school, I'll need another income for the summer months but until then, I'll just do what I have to here at home and the school system has 15 dys off for Winter break so I get to enjoy my kids the whole time and not have to shuffle them off to a babysitter while I am at work. It all works out for the best with me and the kids so that is what counts.

My days now will be getting up this early (5:45am) taking a shower in case I get called to work. If I don't get called, I go back to bed. The latest I'll be home is 4pm where as before it was 5:30-6pm every night.

I found out I am not a 40 hour a week type of person. Not with the kids still being at home. I need to be home for them. They need me and I want to be here for them. I did find out that my son's grades could probably make a step up in the math and reading area if I supervise his after school activity a little more close.

So, that is my "not so tiny" update. I just had to vent and give my self a reminder that this is a good thing. I'll miss the people I work with but I've got the list of numbers and I'll stay in touch. Thanks for reading this far.

Have a great day, everyone!

Guess who lost a tooth...

The tooth fairy is coming to my house tonight. Arielle lost her very first tooth in school this morning. Her tooth behind it erupted over a month ago and is starting to push forward so I am glad that the obstacle is gone. We have inspected her mouth and it's wiggly little white teethies and I suspect I will be updating with Tooth Fairy briefings fairly frequently.

If Not One Thing, It's Another...

Now that my emotional health has recovered somewhat, my physical health declines. My throat started hurting on Thursday and I watched it. Friday was better and yesterday it started up again. When I woke up last night, to yell at hubby to come to bed, I could not talk and my throat killed me. Today, I am in pain, and my day is shot because I needed to do stuff at church and now I can't. I need to rest and make sure that I am ready for the long week. I have tons of stuff to do at work and being sick does not fit into my schedule nor do I have any sick time to use. I hate being sick...and then having to deal with all the weekly stuff too. Oh boy, I dread this....

Til later...

My Saturday Plans....NOT!

I was going to have such a wonderful time today along with errands and laundry piling up. I slept in, which felt really good and then pried myself out of bed to go to Weight Watchers. I gained .6lbs but I'll fix that this week. I then came home and was getting ready for my party with my coworkers. We were getting together to celebrate a coworkers new house and to scrapbook and start making Christmas decorations for the office and our families. All went well until we went to tbe babysitters to drop Arielle off. They weren't home. Not a soul around. Called them on my cell. Nothing....OK...so we went back home and decided to just call the coworker and tell her that I was not coming! SUCKS!! I was so looking forward to hanging out with my new friends. (insert bad words) That is how I feel about that whole situation!

Arielle and I went to Aldis and another store and got groceries and then came back home to unpack the groceries. Now she is watching tv and I still have to go do laundry sometime this evening.

Good thing last night went so splendidly well. I had a wonderful time talking to a couple of friends of mine online...and then another friend called me on the phone and we talked for awhile. After that phone call, I gathered up Arielle and took her to bed and then I took the remote and turned on a DVR recording and promptly fell asleep.

The boy just told me he needs craft supplies for a project that he needs to start for school. It's due in 11 days so we still have time to get the supplies. Thank goodness it's not due on Monday!

Well, I better go do the laundry now...so I can fold it and put it away before I need it again. I'll be back later. Life is coming back together, for the most part. I hate being that down that nothing cheers me up. Good thing it only lasts a little while.

Til later.....

Coming out to share a piece of talent...not mine....

When I got back from New York City, I contacted a friend of mine about drawing a picture of my trip with the people I went with. This is what he came up with...



His name is Rick and he is fast becoming a good friend. Thank you so much Rick, for doing this for me. You can see more of his work and ask for your own special piece of artwork by going here. My trip to New York was very special and I wanted to remember it in a most unique way...I think Rick did a wonderful job! As soon as the job chaos settles down, I will be letting him create more artwork for me.

Back to my happy place...full of my favorite music, colorful flowers, cute fuzzy little animals, sunshine and rainbows....see you later.....

Going To a Happy Place!

I found something today that has re-ignited a passion for a lost art and love of mine that has been out of my life for far too long. It's been quite a while but I am going to dive whole heartedly into it and see if it can make some of the bad go away, or seem to go away.....



If I am not around much...don't worry...I'm just trying to find myself again...Have fun!

The Goals That We Make In Life

I have made a goal. In 5 years I will be out of debt. Easy enough, right? Get a job, keep that job and success......yeah, if it works out that way. On my way to success and serenity....

Funny how people make these goals one day and actually think they are going to succeed to this goal. There's one thing that most people dont count on as an obstacle....life.

I thought my life was set in stone 6 months ago with graduating college and getting on with my career. Now, with a job that I loved up in the air, and numerous relationships being so confusing and complicated, I barely can tell what day it is, let alone focusing on the goal to get up in the morning. All I know is that I am making through a minute at a time and trying to focus on what is most important in my life. Mainly my family, and keeping my sanity while surviving...

Why does being an adult have to be so hard sometimes....If you are also having trouble with what life is giving you right now, look at this picture and float to another place, a happier place...and maybe things will look different in the morning.

Sunday Scramblings...

Last night was just perfect. After I did the things I had to do outside of the house, I quietly relaxed in the midst of my mess and kept my sanity. I talked to some people online that made my mess go away for awhile. I'll do the same thing today. Probably. The dishes are done, the laundry is clean so for the next week, there is tons of food in the house, and I'll just pick up where I see clutter and take care of it that way. If I lose my job, I'll do a thorough cleaning and really get this house ready for the new year of changes. Right now, I am just gathering energy to live and survive and that's enough. Nobody here is complaining except maybe the cats because they never got used to the time change....and I am feeding them an hour later than usual. Poor kitty cats. Pictures of the kids have been taken down. Wait until next year for more.



Life is what you make of it and sometimes you just have to give it to God and let Him handle the mess. He can have mine for awhile....

Have a great Sunday.

Saturday Things To Do List

GO to Weight Watchers-check-lost a total of 17 pounds, made goal, 10% and my lifetime membership, that is a whole huge feat in WW language! Yeah for me!

Go to Bank-check-bills can now be paid
Go to Laundromat and do 2 loads-check-clean clothes, yeah!
Go grocery shopping-check-and under budget for the week, yeah!
Clean living room and vacuum-nope
Clean kids rooms and sweep-nope-
Clean bathroom and deoderize-nope-
Clean kitchen, sweep and mop-nope-
Put out hamburger for dinner-nope-asked hubby to get Taco Bell. He's so good.
Fix dinner for hubby-see above-
Try and relax a little-spent a leisurely afternoon talking to a dear friend.
Catch up on stuff taped on DVR.-later tonight....and tomorrow.

I'll get to the rest of this eventually. It'll still be there...

Almost the weekend

....only a few more hours and then I can get some work done around the house and rest and relax for the next week coming up.

tick...tick....tick....tick....

On the bright side....

...today went better than the past few days. I did corner my boss though and tell him how I felt regarding his little eval with me. If this does not work out, I told him that God has always provided me with help or another window to the future so he was happy about that. I am not looking for that and my head is still in the game of my present job but if I have to, I do have a plan B.

I want to thank my coworkers who have surrounded me in support of my feeling bad at work. I am taking every one of their names home with me when and if something happens with this job. I did not know the friendships I had there until today. One of them actually starting telling corny knock knock jokes in an effort to make me laugh. Love ya, girlie!

You do not know how much you are blessed in life until you are tried and brought down to almost nothing....Thanks, to my "blog followers". I love you guys too. You make my day! Thank you!!!!

I am feeling much better!!!!

Maybe it's a sign.....

of better things to work for....

I know right now I am not happy in life and it needs to change. I thought I was but after my trip to NYC, things just steadily got worse in my life, both personal and professional. My brain is going places where it's never been before and I don't know if that means starting over or what.....but I'm confused as anyone could be...and I am not happy with what is happening now in my life.

My one question is, why can't I be happy for more than a month or two? Do I really actually know what happiness is? Right now, what I am feeling, is not happiness.......and in this stage of my life, I really should be happy....

Well, it very well could be the unemployment line.....

...in three weeks, I'll know for sure......

My boss is looking for a scapegoat to blame the lack of production with our clients. To tell the truth, it's neither one of our faults. The economy has it so messed up that the clients are pulling funds out of every account they have and the boss and I are both suffering because of it. I know he can't pay my salary if this keeps up but to give me a bad eval and blaming me for something that is not my fault, it's not fair....and I have been crying all afternoon because of it.

I guess my next course of action is redoing the bills in case this does happen. I guess I'll go back to the school district subbing and look for another job that way again.....

Life isn't fair....Guess John or Barack will be saying the same thing tonight after the results come in.


I did vote by the way...crying......but I did....vote.....

Pray for me....today....

...I have my probationary evaluation today. I had to grade myself yesterday and we are "discussing" that today. I know I love my job and I know I am doing as well as can be expected so I should not be scared....but I am.......I hate evaluations and I can't stand constructive criticism......I just can't take it.....


Wish me luck.....maybe he'll tell me how much of a raise I am getting now that probabtion is almost over or where to apply for unemployment.......we'll see.....

Oh and you might want to pray for our country today too.....

It's gonna be a roller coaster today! I bet we won't find out who wins until next week.....

Interesting weekend

Actually got caught up on things that I had put off so I call that a success. I slept a lot, caught up on some kid time with Arielle and Allen and they were appreciative of their mother's attempt to spend some time with them.

Arielle and I saw High School Musical 3. I really hate to say this but I really love this movie. I love musicals in general, even the B rated ones. I just love the goofy songs and lyrics, and everything about them. There are only a few I don't like and I won't mention thier names. Arielle loves to sing and dance so it fits into our realm of things to do together.

Allen got an early Christmas present and he is forever grateful. Even hugged me which was a very pleasant surprise, giving that he is a teenager of 13. Hugging moms just is not cool anymore! I'll wrap up the box and give it to him On Christmas Day. Makes my shopping easier and not so time stressed.

Anyone have a countdown to Christmas yet? 52 days or something like that??? Oh my gosh, where does the time go??? It just flies....I just surpassed 2 months at my job. That went fast! And I still love it although there are a few things about getting up so darn early that are beginning to wear on me.....UGH!

Hope every one has a great week and makes it thier own. I intend on taking one day at a time and making every minute the best it can be. Here's hoping.....LOL!

Oh and go vote tomorrow. It may make the difference in a very stressful election.....

HAPPY NOVEMBER!!!!!

October was full of super highs and super lows so I am wanting to make November a steady stream of "I like life!"

So far, I got paid today, on a Saturday so that was a definite good. I worked for it so I am happy that I got my just do. I love my new salary. It gives me wiggle room for the month if I need it. With Christmas coming up, there is my wiggle room.

Arielle and I are spending some much needed time together today. We are seeing High School Musical 3 and then we're going to the mall for some candle smelling fun.

Allen does not want to go with us so he'll be home doing what he wants to do best....

Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday! We intend to.